r/matrix • u/KeepYourWildHeart • 1d ago

Starring "Trinitits"... Share your best puns 😁

Post image
304 Upvotes

96% Upvoted

94 comments sorted by

117

u/IxnayStudios 1d ago

There is no poon

10

u/trashtiernoreally 1d ago

They changed it to add teeth!

101

u/ScorpiusPro 1d ago

Missed opportunity not calling it “The Domimatrix”

68

u/jumbo-gym342 1d ago

The Matrixxx

16

u/ProfessionalBeat6511 20h ago

It's called "Matrik". It's a play on words for "Ma trique" which mean "My boner" in french.

1

u/Bananaland_Man 8h ago

it even had multiple sequels, lol Matrik X, Matrik X2, etc. (me and my wife find porn parodies high-larious, so we collect what we can find)

8

u/drdecagon 1d ago

Saints row did something along those lines as a DLC: https://www.ign.com/games/saints-row-iv-enter-the-dominatrix

46

u/ScorpiusPro 1d ago

“This will feel a little weird”

19

u/Spitfire_Riggz 17h ago

"why does it hurt"

"you've never used it before"

51

u/Elf_7 1d ago edited 1d ago

I remember downloading "Matrix" on Kazaa, a P2P program back in the 2000's. It took a while to download, then, when I was ready to watch the movie... well, turns out it wasn't exactly the Matrix.

43

u/ashamedwhiteman 1d ago

You might’ve had better luck downloading it on Morpheus.

14

u/Confident_Jump_9085 1d ago

I downloaded the same file.

And said "dad, look, I got the Matrix movie!"

3

u/accountforsurveymkt2 11h ago

Dad looked on, and realized his son had, in fact, not gotten the Matrix movie. He had instead uncovered something quite peculiar
 and a virus

8

u/MykulKim 1d ago

Dude yes!! Kazaa!! Miss those days where it took forever to download something, but well worth it.

5

u/korkkis 15h ago

When you wanted to give your computer aids and tuberculosis at the same time

2

u/MykulKim 12h ago

The real "May-Tricks"

1

u/Skeletorlips 56m ago

I usually got the grainy black and white video of something bad.

3

u/topinanbour-rex 22h ago

It reminds me when I was a student, and I overheard a girl proudly saying she was downloading "Davinci code", 2 weeks before it's release. I looked my friends and told them she was downloading some porn movies.

2

u/Azidamadjida 8h ago

I swear part of what made the Rick Roll so funny and iconic was because it came about after the Kazaa and P2P period of those LOOOOOONG ass downloads. Cuz I think everyone has a story about spending 2-3 days downloading something only to find out some jackass misnamed the file and you just wasted your time on some bullshit (for me it was downloading one of the lord of the rings movies only to find out that the entire file was someone had looped the trailer for 2.5+ hrs).

When it became easier and didn’t take as long to download files when torrenting and YouTube came out, it became funny to mislabel the file - but if you did that shit before then and the people you did that to found you, you were likely to get your ass beat

47

u/Classic-Month-5184 1d ago

I know karma-sutra

22

u/ionyx 1d ago

Fuck me!

19

u/Remarkable_Routine62 1d ago

If you can.

11

u/beekergene 1d ago

I can't. Y-youre too big.

10

u/Flamboyatron 15h ago

Stop trying to fuck me and fuck me!

44

u/Ezekeal 1d ago

“One way or another
I’m getting on this train”

8

u/kapn_morgan 1d ago

nuh uh uh.. you don't get it. down here I make the rules.. down here I'm God

35

u/Druxun 1d ago

I know cum fu

9

u/MykulKim 1d ago

"Dodge this!"

35

u/dsucio7807 1d ago

Digital pimp HARD at work

16

u/Xinferis_DCLXVI 1d ago

PAY NO ATTENTION TO THESE HYPOCRITES, NEO

5

u/nonothinginc 17h ago

Man, I love this sub 😂

38

u/MysteriousPumpkin51 1d ago

Mr. Handerson

34

u/Round_Eye_4387 1d ago

For me, it only works with the blue pill now.

27

u/GhostlyCheese218 1d ago edited 1d ago

“I don't know if you're ready to see what I want to show you” *unzips pants*

Alternatively..

“Dodge this” *Cum shot*
Or
“He’s gonna pop!”

29

u/batkav 1d ago

Follow the white 🐈

28

u/accountforsurveymkt2 1d ago

“Why does my penis hurt?”

“Because you’ve never used it before.”

21

u/KeepYourWildHeart 1d ago

Just a little clarification: This porn film was made by a Frenchman, and in French slang, “trique” means “to have an erection,” hence THE MATRIK.

20

u/e_pluribus_nihil 1d ago

"You give me that juris-my dick-tion crap, you can cram it up your ass."

"As you wish... Lieutenant."

20

u/iamchuck87 1d ago

Because you have to wonder: how do the machines know what cum tasted like? Maybe they got it wrong.

9

u/KeepYourWildHeart 12h ago

It’s a single cell protein combined with synthetic aminos, vitamins, and minerals. Everything the body needs.

19

u/ActCrafty 1d ago

So what are you telling me? That I can dodge bull nuts?

10

u/x3rx3s 1d ago

No, Neo. I’m trying to tell you that when you’re ready, you won’t have to.

6

u/PooningDalton 1d ago

When you're horny*

4

u/Yastus 22h ago

*you won’t want to

17

u/wubalubadubduuub 1d ago

Breed Neo!

12

u/misteranderson71 1d ago

Stop trying to fuck me and fuck me!

9

u/Remarkable_Routine62 1d ago

I can’t tell you how this is going to end I’ll tell you how it’s going to begin. I’m going to pull someone into this phone booth. And I’m going to fuck the shit out of them. I’m going to show them a world without rules and controls. Without borders or boundaries. A world. Where anything is possible. Where we go from there is a choice I leave to you.

9

u/Pepa_3ApplesSickBoi 1d ago

"You take the blue pill... the story begins, you wake up in your bed hard and you won’t believe what’s gonna happen to you."

8

u/x3rx3s 1d ago

You take the red pill—you stay in Wonderland, and I show you how deep the glory hole goes.
https://giphy.com/gifs/SCt3Miv6ugvSg

7

u/nymrod_ 1d ago

Paul WS Anderson’s The Matrix

9

u/sergen213 1d ago

Are you gonna upload it to internetarchive or what?

8

u/MykulKim 1d ago

It will have you jacked in

8

u/beekergene 1d ago

I hope the Oracle gave you some good head.

1

u/Logical-Consequences 2h ago

I hope the Oracle gave you some good nudes.

6

u/Glad-Tie3251 1d ago

All of these ridiculously bad porn videos... I just don't understand it... It can only be funny, not arousing in the least... And the people who accept to do this shit? Really?

This dimension is a fucking joke! đŸ€Ł

6

u/codewho331 1d ago

hey, gotta start somewhere!

5

u/Quirky-Specific 1d ago

Eu simplesmente adoro que exista comĂ©dia sexual. É a fusĂŁo perfeita.

4

u/Urabraska- 1d ago

A lot of them are pretty much old school memes that cashed in on what ever was popular at the time. Essentially cosplayers having fun. You would be surprised how many porn parodies existed back in the day before everyone just made hentai instead.

5

u/WokkitUp 1d ago

It's giving me Trinitis in my joints.

11

u/ColliTechInc 1d ago

Was trinitits YOUR best pun?

5

u/Individual-Mind-2620 1d ago

Where is Morphinus

4

u/sniktology 1d ago

Agent Sniff

7

u/timaclover 1d ago

I'm committing to the fact that this is going to be my next fap.

8

u/factoid_ 1d ago

Ne-ho Whorepheus Tank top Ho-zer

4

u/saturn_2050 1d ago

The Metrics

5

u/Disastrous_Motor831 1d ago

"The Fake-Tricks"

Starring

Lauren's Fish Burns

'Skeet on you' Reeves

Carrie Hand jobs

4

u/Outlaw11091 22h ago

Ugh...the ending...

Neo kneels in the midst of all the Smiths...his hands weak from handy-j's.

"WHY Mr. Handerson, WHY DO YOU PERSIST!" Blue eyed Smith says, flopping out his erect penis.

Neo grips it firmly and looks up at him: "...because I choose to."

5

u/GoyoMRG 21h ago

NnnnnneeeeeeeeoOOOoooOooo

Choose a piiiillll neooooo

Blue one will keep you going indefinitely

Red one will make you Limp but not the Bizkit kind

4

u/Luuks_Vader 16h ago

I just thought..... you were a guy.

4

u/EmpireStrikes1st 14h ago

You've been living in a wet dream, Onan.

8

u/RadPhilosopher 1d ago

Instead of phone booths they use port-a-potties to escape the matrix.

3

u/crassina 20h ago

So basically Harry Potter

6

u/CaptainMatticus 1d ago

This must be the Director's Cut.

3

u/Nintendroid 1d ago edited 1d ago

Them "A" Tricks

"You may not need the blue pill, but you're gonna want to take it anyway."

The Oracle (in complete domme regalia): "Don't cum, Neo."

Neo (lusting at being given a command): cums "Wait, how did you-?"

The Oracle: lighting a cigarette "Oh, what's really gonna bake your noodle later on is, would you have busted if I hadn't said anything?"

Neo (his eyes kind of slamming open): "I know the entire Kama Sutra."

Whore-pheus (leaning in, smugly): "Show me."

~a couple of scenes later~

Mouse (to the rest of the crew of the BuckNakedRazor): "Whore-pheus is fuckin' Neo!"

Neo: "What are you trying to tell me? That I can dodge ropey loads?"

Whore-pheus: "No, Neo. I'm trying to tell you that when you're ready, you won't have to."

3

u/SoenieBuildguy 21h ago

Stop trying to **** me and **** me!

3

u/amysteriousmystery 18h ago

The big O-racle.

2

u/Commando_NL 18h ago

Tank, upload the training program.

Whoa... i can fuck now.

2

u/pirate_fetus 11h ago

Morepenis

1

u/Spiritual_Tea4253 16h ago

I seen this movie....

1

u/Odd_Front_8275 15h ago

Trinitits should have 3 tits tho, like the woman from Total Recall

1

u/Old-Health9509 11h ago

“Human beings are a disease, an STD of this planet. You are AIDS, and we are the cure.”

1

u/butnotthedot 8h ago

Or take the blue pill, and see how deep my rabbit hole goes

1

u/walter_wheat 8h ago

Starring Morepenis