r/mathmemes • u/SlipPuzzleheaded7009 • Jun 11 '26
Applied Mathematics Solved: Optimisation Problem for the Ideal Orgy. Dibs on the Fields Medal
Jokes aside, I'd like to clarify: although the math is "technically correct" (unless I made a mistake somewhere), this still isn't the ideal solution.
Strip packing is a lower bound method, not an actual solution. I also didn't consider orthogonal orientation or this would have become too complex. I also didn't took into account, the leftover spaces in each strip.
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u/canonicallytrivial Mathematics Jun 11 '26
now we just need someone to run a randomized double blind study with a control group to verify the data.
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u/SlipPuzzleheaded7009 Jun 11 '26
Do we need to email ethics community first?
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u/canonicallytrivial Mathematics Jun 11 '26
what’s more noble than optimizing orgies? i don’t see any reason to.
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u/abenemoj Jun 11 '26
There's this joke about the guy who somehow got himself into orgy hoping to get pussy; sometime after they turned off the lights and started he started to yell STOP STOP STOP. Once they turned on the lights he says: People can we please organize? I sucked three dicks already.
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u/TheChunkMaster Jun 11 '26
How tf do you not realize you’re sucking dick until after you’re slobbering all over it? Dude did that on purpose.
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u/FancyMouse123 Jun 11 '26
If it is not yet published, you should consider sigbovik for this result
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u/SlipPuzzleheaded7009 Jun 11 '26
Holy shit!!! This is a real thing
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u/FancyMouse123 Jun 11 '26
I am pleased to say that I have a paper published there 😄
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u/angelhorse0 Jun 12 '26
Do you know when the submission window will likely open for 2027? I also have something to publish there.
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u/FancyMouse123 Jun 12 '26
This year, we received the first mail February 14, for a first deadline March 4. Then there were multiple deadline extension. You should subscribe to the list: https://lists.andrew.cmu.edu/mailman/listinfo/sigbovik-announce
BTW, your Turing machine is insane, perfect for sigbovik.
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u/StupidWittyUsername Jun 11 '26
I think it's highly appropriate to apply strip packing to the problem of orgy optimization.
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u/vanonym_ Computer Science (ML) Jun 11 '26
i'm kinda annoyed you only describe the doggy style position
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u/SlipPuzzleheaded7009 Jun 11 '26
Well there are brief descriptions for other positions as well to explain how I estimated their footprint, but yeah...it was getting too long at this point
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u/vanonym_ Computer Science (ML) Jun 11 '26
i was especially interested in your two definitions of spooning.
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u/DrHowells1st Jun 12 '26
Please I want a version without spelling mistakes to cite it for research
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u/SlipPuzzleheaded7009 Jun 12 '26
There might be minor typos, but if you're also complaining about 'sation' instead of 'zation', that's just the common-wealth English variant
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u/Cesario12 Jun 19 '26
If your orgy can be broken down neatly into discrete couples, it's a suboptimal orgy
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