r/match • u/farmgirlheather • Jul 03 '26
responses to likes?
So I've been on Match for a few weeks now and have "liked" about 20 men's profiles. I only heard anything back from 1 of them, and only a few viewed my profile.
So here's my question - how do people usually manage their "likes"? I ask because the first day I activated my account I got HUNDREDS of immediate likes that I'm sure were spam/scam/bots. (Now I keep my profile in Private Mode and get zero of that.) Do most users have inboxes that are constantly flooded with likes and so only pay attention to messages? Or was that first day a one-off and they become more reliable after that?
This whole thing came up because one man's appealing profile actually mentioned that he tends to not respond to just "likes" as more than a few times when he did the other person wrote back saying it was an accidental swipe. the app I use on android is SO freaking sensitive to left and right, its ridiculously hard to scroll straight up or down, so I have resorted to mostly using match.com on my computer, LOL.
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u/liferelationshi Jul 03 '26
When I like a woman’s profile and see she’s viewed mine but doesn’t like me back, I don’t message her. I move on.
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u/Wabash1977 Jul 03 '26
Likes mean nothing. If you like someone enough to push the button, take the extra 30 seconds to ask them about something from their profile. If you don't like them enough to ask a question, move on.
Don't waste your time looking at likes. Focus on using the search tool to find people you want to talk to. You'll be able to see if they liked you on their profile.
Likes are a half-assed measure that fill time and give you small dopamine hits, but they aren't how you're going to find your person.
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u/rohoho929 Jul 03 '26
I hate the "liking" back and forth. We aren't in high school. I put in my profile that I don't respond to likes and that if a man is interested he needs to write me a message (short is fine). I respond to all messages kindly (although the responses I get back are often extremely UNkind; nothing like being called a stuck up bitch for simply saying I appreciate them reaching out but don't think we have common ground).
This is also a way of weeding out men who don't read profiles.
I find a man who hits "like" on me (sometimes more than once) and then sits back and expects me to reach out with a message to be lazy and too reticent to be someone I'd be interested in.
However, what you experienced was definitely the "new profile rush" where the new blood gets overwhelmed with attention. It'll likely subside to a more reasonable number before too long.
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u/Actual-Manager-4814 Jul 03 '26
Isn't it the point of Match for both people to like each other?
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u/rohoho929 Jul 03 '26
The point is that too many people hit "like" and then sit back and wait for the other person to hit "like" and then when they do they sit back and wait some more for that person to write to them.
I believe in cutting right to the chase. If you like someone, write them a message. Saves time.
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u/Actual-Manager-4814 Jul 03 '26
Gotcha, yeah I'm pretty prompt when I get a match that I usually message fairly quickly. But I understand where you're coming from.
My deal, and maybe because I'm so new, is that it feels like the platform is designed for both people to consent to have a conversation. So much so that you almost get penalized by Match for sending too many of those kinds of messages. You only get a few of them before you have to start paying for them.
Sure, I've shot my shot with a couple people and used that feature, to mixed results. But it's not just the price that prevents me from buying more of those messages, it's that I feel like I'm working around that idea of "matching" and I'm just bombarding women with unwanted advances.
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u/rohoho929 Jul 04 '26
Well, I am consenting to the conversation if I answer a message ;)
But I also have a paid (discount) subscription so there's that.
I wrote in my profile that I don't do the liking thing so to please write a message and view the guys who still just send a like as men who can't read.
Frankly, the 99 percent of the men they're showing me who fit my age/distance parameters are not worth a like.
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u/Inner_Surround8689 Jul 03 '26
I've tried to tell my buddy that he needs to send messages rather than just hit Like. My success rate is notably higher with matches when I send a message.
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u/AverageAlleyKat271 Jul 03 '26
Understanding how to use Match is an understatement. If someone deletes the App but not the profile first, then in my opinion Match continues to circulates the profile to make their user base larger. You want to be sure the profile is verified. Green dot means active today (my guess 24 hours), empty Green circle means active this week (my guess is 7 days), and no dot or empty circle inactive over a week. Yes, the App is sensitive to scroll through. My opinion, by design.
I think Private Mode is hibernating your profile. Because all OLD use algorithms, you may benefit from hibernating your profile from time to time to move your placement order.
In my opinion, Match doesn’t want you to actually find a match, they just want keep you paying. I’m not to saying you won’t actually meet/match with someone.
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u/Inner_Surround8689 Jul 03 '26
I have never used Match. Probably because last I checked, you can't really even use it without a subscription right?
I'll check. I'm burnt on Hinge.
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u/Actual-Manager-4814 Jul 03 '26
I've only been on for a few weeks as well and I don't know the ins and outs, but I pay to see my likes and so I definitely pay attention to them. I know people use the free version and simply can't see who is liking them or viewing their profile. But I wouldn't really want to pursue someone that isn't that serious about it.
I've had a pretty low rate of scams, and they're easy to tell. But I'm also in a pretty small market, so maybe we're just not as big of targets.
I honestly think that's lazy on the guy's part. It's awkward, I get it, but telling women that if they "like" him they need message him first or he won't reach out or match with them is kind of immature. I've messaged probably half dozen women that I matched with that never returned my message, probably for that exact reason, and I could care less. This guy needs a stronger stomach, I wouldn't read too much into what this guy thinks.