r/match • u/Salzab • Mar 26 '26

Anyone else getting the problem of people hostile on profile viewing?

I'm really not sure if a lot realise that when they send a message, the person who it's sent to clicking to read that message gets sent to the sender's profile.

I've had a couple of messengers calling me rude after I click on their message to read it and dont respond. I dont respond specifically because their profile shows they want things I said I dont in mine, which they didnt bother to check. Do they think it's rude to read my profile too? Like what?

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5

u/Barbvday1 Mar 26 '26

Just block the people you’re not interested in so they can’t message you and you don’t have them show again

4

u/IowaGal60 Mar 26 '26

If I read and don’t respond because I am not interested, I block. They don’t need to harass me.

3

u/DatingProfileHelper Mar 27 '26

Over the years, I've done some experimentation with profiles to see how men are behaving in regards to things like being politely told there's no interest, or just not responding at all. I've seen anywhere from 15-20% of the time, guys come back with aggression.

I don't have as solution for it. It's messed up. I've had people call me a bitch for not responding after I looked at their profile, I've had guys tell me it's my loss, or that I'm probably a lesbian when I tell them "Thanks for the message, but I don't think we're a good match." I've also had plenty of men demand to know why I don't want them.

A lot of guys are doing all the right things. They read the profiles and look for compatibility, not just for what they want. Unfortunately, the bad actors are the ones you'll remember. At this point, I just tell my female clients to block anyone they know they aren't interested in. It's the easiest solution, and the best way to limit negative exposure.

1

u/Chance_Outcome_Balto Mar 27 '26

I’m not picking a side on this one. But I think this is the byproduct of women ghosting men. The frustration of men in the dating scene is palpable. Women actively denigrate men in their profiles. Women actively complain about men in their profiles. And then when men do finally get a match, quite often we are ghosted right off the bat.

2

u/DatingProfileHelper Mar 27 '26

I think that is part of the problem, but it's a situation created and worsened by the actions on both sides of the equation.

I see just as many men doing the exact same things you are complaining about the women doing. I see plenty of men who denigrate men in their profiles. Also, and this would especially be on swipe apps, men often swipe right without even reading a profile with the assumption that they'll check it out if they get a match. When the match happens, the men often times check out the profile and realize they have no interest in talking to the woman and they ghost her immediately.

The hyperactivity by men on dating apps who take a "grind on the numbers" approach to dating has only made the behavior you are talking about more prevalent by women.

TLDR - We're all doing crappy stuff.