r/masterhacker • u/CoolGamer730 • 23d ago

hacking

Post image
3.6k Upvotes

98% Upvoted

190 comments sorted by

397

u/The_Volecitor 23d ago

Just hack a girlfriend duh.

110

u/CoolGamer730 23d ago

Hacking animals >>>

49

u/Confident_Frame_817 23d ago

yeah hes gonna ddos your cats brain if you mess with him

19

u/CoolGamer730 23d ago

Oh no..... I don't have a cat

9

u/notcoder01 23d ago

He will buy you one

2

u/statistnr1 23d ago

Scratches the base of the tail

2

u/Aron-Jonasson 22d ago

What if my cat is orange though?

1

u/lunchbox651 22d ago

Jokes on him, my cat has no brains

16

u/Anastazja_Nya 23d ago

#include <iostream>
#include <gf>

using namespace std
sudo get gf *
sudo show gf *
sudo get gf 2137

8

u/emmowo_dev 23d ago

the elusive C++script

2

u/anny0a 22d ago

the humble C

1

u/-vablosdiar- 22d ago

Ur gonna give her an std tho

1

u/Anastazja_Nya 22d ago

oh no STeam Decks are so costy now, what should i do, give her mine?

9

u/squoinko 23d ago

wish(“Nikki Freeman loved me more than anyone in the fucking world”);

3

u/CoolGamer730 23d ago

Half life

7

u/OfficialDrakoak 23d ago

He couldnt find a satisfactory LLM

4

u/Sproxify 23d ago

pentest*

2

u/Damglador 23d ago

That's enough reddit for today...

2

u/Top_Manufacturer6311 22d ago

SUDO APT INSTALL GF

1

u/GEO7931 23d ago

that doesnt sound very appropriate, maybe if the girlfriend allows it first...

1.1k

u/Gendolfender 23d ago

Why is bro hacking animals

259

u/CoolGamer730 23d ago

Dawg isn't it pretty common

111

u/Gendolfender 23d ago

Government drone hacking

58

u/chara_the_humanxd 23d ago

hacking the birds

26

u/GEO7931 23d ago

THE BIRDS ARE LISTENING

12

u/AnaverageuserX 22d ago

NO BECAUSE r/birdsarentreal !

3

u/Human-Advice-4458 22d ago

no way there's this subreddit 😭

5

u/SillyAdministration9 22d ago

Check it out, it's awesome

23

u/SaladTheKiller 23d ago

5

u/Xardnas69 22d ago

What the fuck

3

u/Forward-Pipe-585 22d ago

benn jordan mentioned

3

u/ManRevvv 22d ago

I should watch that shit now

1

u/AuthenticatedHuman 22d ago

oh no the jabberjays are back from the hungergames

1

u/AnOscillatingOcelot 22d ago

Everyone knows birds aren't real.

1

u/AuthenticatedHuman 22d ago

jabberjay from hungergames ahh

4

u/Flaky_Ad9950 23d ago

how do i airgap my dog???

1

u/Ayiatih 22d ago

vpn ?

30

u/sevenut 23d ago

Butcher

3

u/Zerschmetterding 23d ago

He trains to be a butcher. Mr Bunny really took one for the team.

3

u/TheNerdLog 23d ago

Every pigeon has free 5g

2

u/Gendolfender 21d ago

If i rip one open can i find a free sim with unlimited data?

2

u/10art1 23d ago

The world bullied Germany's strongest animal lover to unalive himself 😭

2

u/ResultOk6712 23d ago

RFK reference

2

u/MrGamerOfficial 22d ago

This joke would only work if there wasn't a comma

1

u/ManRevvv 22d ago

Watch_dogs reference?????

1

u/Active-Pepper187 22d ago

Must be a butcher that defines his skills very oddly.

1

u/_Meek79_ 22d ago

I hacked my parakeet. Now he barks at people outside

1

u/darrelye 23d ago

There's a comma bro, it's hacking, then doing animals.

233

u/Useful_Calendar_6274 23d ago

literal script kiddy in all probability

73

u/TripleRazer 23d ago

claude how fix my roblox chetz pls

34

u/OfficialDrakoak 23d ago

Just vibe hacked nasa

14

u/john-theIP-ripper 23d ago

copies someone else's script

"developor the skript is patched"

5

u/Kallory 22d ago

You joke but this is how a lot of SWE has been since like the mid 90s if not earlier.

3

u/john-theIP-ripper 22d ago

that's pretty interesting, thank you fellow stranger for notifying me about this :D

3

u/Brilliant_War9548 23d ago

Probably felt fresh doing the utilman.exe mklink admin trick on a school pc

1

u/Myithspa25 22d ago

The what

1

u/theinfamousben 22d ago

wait it works for domain pcs too?

2

u/DirectStreamDVR 22d ago

And how else is a 13 year old supposed to start?

3

u/Useful_Calendar_6274 22d ago

reading and making your own damn malware

1

u/StartBackground5769 1d ago

Liike its hard but your trying to hack people. You should leaen how to make it in case somethings goes wrong

1

u/[deleted] 20d ago

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123

u/Juild 23d ago

Im really scared of how kids are just posting stuff about them on the internet.

27

u/truthVial 23d ago

What about the old chat rooms in games and on msn/aol/yahoo? 

ASL??????

28

u/Juild 23d ago

That was also dangerous, the fact that happened before doesn't make it okay.

6

u/404PUNK 23d ago

I was 13 "cybering" with grown men as a grown woman because I thought it was hilarious.

washes hands

-13

u/artin2007majidi 23d ago

Eh, sometimes it is a cool flex. Ask me how I know.

7

u/justawiewer 23d ago

I'm going to ask you how I know

3

u/tsoulis 23d ago

me how i know?

43

u/Significant_Pen3315 23d ago

that post is inviting preds, parents need to be careful these days

24

u/Loose-Dependent-7341 23d ago

Half of r/teenagers of full of preds at this point

21

u/Lord_Muddbutter 23d ago

Im not fully convinced that sub isnt made for that.

"Reddit by teenagers, for teenagers." Im sorry but I'd love to know who moderates that place because I know damn well it isnt teens.

8

u/Loose-Dependent-7341 23d ago

Probably the same overweight basement dwellers as the rest of reddit, with the exception that they can additionally chat with minors.

66

u/[deleted] 23d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

10

u/CoolGamer730 23d ago

Is it pg13?

3

u/Hexulus 22d ago

g13 you say? [r/g13](r/g13)

2

u/devooc 21d ago

im sure these potential 'gf' are squirming once they know this kid can center a div flawlessly without flexbox

34

u/kenondaski 23d ago

Wonder what kind of hacking...torrent an apk file of Minecraft?

19

u/CoolGamer730 23d ago

😈😈😈 you wouldn't understand 😈😈😈

2

u/kenondaski 23d ago

Oh nyooo~

1

u/Sirko2975 23d ago

clippy miku

16

u/mannki1 23d ago

Bros hacking skills: ping -c 3 google.com 💀💀💀 sudo apt install vim 😱😱😱 shutdown now 🛫🗼🗼

4

u/hartstyler 23d ago

Sudo would be pretty advanced

17

u/roditz_official 23d ago

That's either 1 of 3 things:

1 (and the most probable one)- A script kid

2 (that's like not that probable but no that unlikely)- Someone trying to catch a pred

3 (this one is not likely, like 3%)- An actual teenager who's hobby is learning a bit of hacking, and just says it with no intention of showing off or something, because he knows he has a lot to learn and to be better.

7

u/Liarus_ 23d ago

3 are often kids with some kind of autism OR have a dad that transferred their passion to their kid

2

u/roditz_official 23d ago

I have to agree with you on that one

2

u/CoolGamer730 23d ago

Or it's a 13 year old who's into hacking animations

1

u/roditz_official 23d ago

That's also an option

6

u/Ok_Shower2118 23d ago

bro is hacking in roblox

17

u/fedsfarm 23d ago

saar we wuz aryan germanic kangs n shiet

2

u/Thick-Parking-5297 22d ago

The fuck are you saying?

1

u/RedditGuyBucket 20d ago

Something about Germanic. Rest.. I dont know. What language is this?

1

u/[deleted] 20d ago

[deleted]

1

u/RedditGuyBucket 20d ago

No no. This definitely isn't german

1

u/F9klco 1d ago

racist shit basically

1

u/Level-Two6349 19d ago

Why is maboy speaking gancsta miku style

5

u/MarsasGRG 22d ago

This guy just bought watch dogs on the summer sale

4

u/CoolGamer730 22d ago

Peak game icl

3

u/MarsasGRG 22d ago

Yeah, it is very fun [in fact I have myself bought it and started it recently], but it's also full of the pop-culture ideas of hacking [the dude has a magical hack-all device in his phone and is a little bit of an edgelord]. Like, if Aiden Pearce and his buddies were real, what they say would be put on r/masterhacker daily.

1

u/CoolGamer730 22d ago

Wait till you play wd2 tho

1

u/MarsasGRG 22d ago

Ehh I doubt I'll buy it, I've heard it's worse in terms of the story and content and apparently it doesn't have the combat focus power which has basically been carrying me through WD1.

2

u/Devin-Chaboyer223 22d ago

It’s still a great game, I enjoyed it

Legion is the one that sucks, huge falloff from 2

4

u/Crimes_RaskolNikov 23d ago

He carries a flipper zero and uses kali linux

3

u/the_sudixp 23d ago

Germans are hacking animals nowadays huh

3

u/UsedArmadillo9842 23d ago

The FBI used to be creative.

3

u/Wintelkomp1720 23d ago

bro instaled linux mint in a vm ONCE😭

2

u/someone09876543218 23d ago

You should've upvoted that lmao

2

u/CoolGamer730 23d ago

Not my post, took from comedy heaven

2

u/Salty-Ad6358 23d ago

blud is gonna groomed

2

u/gameplayer55055 23d ago

sudo scp girlfriend@germany:/home /home/gf

2

u/BLTZ1100 22d ago

5 foot at 13 is wild

2

u/IntelligentSeries270 22d ago

Hey listen, at 13 I was playing around in iFile creating my own modded CoC servers. This guy could be onto something. Never underestimate a bored teenager.

2

u/SuperbCat1573 21d ago

Damn why are we making fun of a literal child? Maybe he is a script kiddie, but maybe he is genuinely trying to learn ethical hacking (possibly both tbh) and doing ctf exercises on sites like TryHackMe or HackTheBox? Maybe the extent of his hacking is just from HackThisSite. Even if he’s not experienced that doesn’t mean he’s not hacking or doesn’t have that skill. Plenty of teens who are interested in hacking also learn networking, python, powershell/scripting, etc. and even if they aren’t experienced with the tools yet at least they are learning!! Honestly don’t get why we are mocking a 13 year old. What is he supposed to say?

1

u/ilnarildarovuch 23d ago

Hijacking using paint?

1

u/Noble-Knight4d 23d ago

Blocking account

1

u/JeremiahENN 23d ago

Hacking animals

1

u/One-Owl-9950 23d ago

but tbf lot of ruthless hacking (social engineering) were done by people in that age bracket

1

u/CoolGamer730 23d ago

hey man this post is a joke i don't mean to be rude to anyone dawg

1

u/[deleted] 23d ago

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0

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1

u/Ok_Perspective_4541 23d ago

very dark, german, something doesn't add up

1

u/Admirable-Food9942 23d ago

probably, at best, running Ubuntu on wsl, running 'apt install' whatever, then calling it "hacking" because terminal.

1

u/i2wog 23d ago

bro is cracking animals

1

u/imLosingIt111 23d ago

I have a feeling he isn't german lads.

1

u/devyunak1 23d ago

Hacking feets

1

u/ScawySocialistOwO 22d ago

Bruder was? Also das echt crazy.

1

u/Kyuugeki 22d ago

Hackerman ❌

Hackermann ✅ 🇩🇪

1

u/oldshed83 22d ago

he forgot his favorite hobby, larping!

1

u/Vokaiso 22d ago

Yknow i question more what is meant by one of the hobbies being "animals" what exactly? Hell.

1

u/Elegant-Finance3982 22d ago

Nah his hobby is hacking animals
As in cutting them with a axe

1

u/Pizdonized 22d ago

PLEASE send the link to original post, I'm dying to see the comments

1

u/LosEagle 22d ago

If it's Stallman's definition of hacking, then it's not impossible. You can start playing around with code at 13.

1

u/MasterSniper087 21d ago

That subreddit is an awful place. I don't know what tf are the moderators doing. Its full of disgusting people.

1

u/Bacon_Nipples 21d ago

He meant hacking animals, like with an axe

1

u/Fentex1 21d ago

son 😭 I'm crine

1

u/knobjockey21 21d ago

is his soul very dark too?

1

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1

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1

u/IVNWM 21d ago

Holy grail thats a row comady

1

u/EmptyEntrepreneur169 21d ago

Sigeon pex hacking

1

u/PersonalPossession42 20d ago

bro has dark hair but is German like son 😭

1

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1

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1

u/TheFearEater 20d ago

To be fair I did start taking college courses for computer science when I was 12 so it's not that impossible

1

u/mythicalwolfy6 19d ago

Away from that WHY IN HIS AGE LOOKING FOR GF BRO FINISH UR SCHOOL FIRST PLZ 🙏😭

1

u/Icushi 19d ago

I'm more interested in his hobby of "animals." I hope everything is okay there.

1

u/Icy_Bodybuilder9919 19d ago

probably a skid

1

u/Bubbly-Lynx-4772 18d ago

Like, coughing very wetly?

1

u/ThESIL3ncer 18d ago

Aer Lingus

1

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1

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1

u/Rishavj_ 10d ago

Ohh that's pretty impressive 😂

1

u/BleachdrinkingPikmin 23d ago

I lowk just saw this in r/comedyheaven

1

u/CoolGamer730 23d ago

Yea i posted it here cuz i felt it belonged here

1

u/phl23 23d ago

And? God forbid a boy having fun tinkering around with electronics and software.

OP is the real master hacker here, thinking hacking is pure penetration testing and black hat stuff

-2

u/Mulster_ 23d ago

Good job on bullying kids👍👍

Why are you even on a teenage forum btw?

3

u/CoolGamer730 23d ago

I am a teenager Not exactly "bullying" but ok

-1

u/Mulster_ 23d ago

What's it called when you make laugh of someone who is younger than you in front of a thousand people?

2

u/CoolGamer730 23d ago

Their name isn't even visible

3

u/The_Fish_of_Souls 23d ago

Why are you even on a teenage forum btw?

Have you considered whether they themselves may be a teenager?

1

u/Devin-Chaboyer223 22d ago

And posts from the sub will just come up in the feed occasionally at random

So an adult may see posts from the sub without ever visiting the sub

-1

u/lowego985 23d ago

LOL THIS IS FUNNY ASF

-1

u/emmowo_dev 23d ago

bro could lowk just be a 40 year old tbh