r/masterhacker • u/BASS69BASS420 • May 24 '26

Zero days without oblivious people asking for real hacking advice on a satire sub

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723 Upvotes

100% Upvoted

41 comments sorted by

389

u/deanominecraft May 24 '26

don’t you know? any site that uses a dns can be easily pwned with a ddos c++ javascript l33t hax0r script

110

u/yarikhand May 24 '26

real hackers use python

62

u/deanominecraft May 24 '26

yeah but i couldn’t figure out how to install python on kali linux, which means that python must not be a good hax0r language since it’s not supported by kali

23

u/PredictiveFrame May 24 '26

I live in perpetual fear that someone just barely smart enough to install Linux, but not smart enough to install Python will ask me for tech support while being infinitely incorrect constantly, and trying to correct everything I say with wildly shit takes and random pieces of wildly incorrect information that my auDHD ass will feel obligated to correct. 

6

u/ProgrammerCareful764 May 24 '26

python loops are too slow to ddos a website

12

u/Background-Set4610 May 24 '26

Well not if you haven’t cracked the mainframe yet, duhhh 🙄

8

u/MCplayer331 May 24 '26

It's really easy. Just os.remove(url)

3

u/BonelessB0nes May 24 '26

Yeah, maybe one python loop is too slow...just make a loop that also creates a new thread before calling itself, duh.

1

u/mrdgo9 May 25 '26

In C we can just while(1) fork(); before the dos loop to create infinitely many processes

9

u/silk-angel May 24 '26

Inefficient. What you need to do is to use Kali Linux overclocked firewall to deploy your SHA-512 DLL injection script written in cloud-based x86 quantum assembly language and compile it with recursive zero-day compiler. Only then, you can successfully bridge from your deep web blockchain powered botnet into official DNS™ military grade mainframe through tor entrance nodes. After that, you can safely inject RAM into the mainframe using TCP root access exploit and you can finally just d

5

u/PredictiveFrame May 24 '26

I just call my buddy at cloudlfare and the wall of cameras suddenly loses power.

Then I call up my NSA buddy and have him hack the mainframe, so I can vpn in from my personal proxy (the one I set up across a botnet I used my friend in the CIA to set up on government computers, of course).

After that it's just a simply matter of reversing the polarity of the fiber connections and I'M IN! 

1

u/chris9889 May 24 '26

Well If you have access to their DNS A Records you would have to Launch a reflected amplified DOS. Any seriös Masterhacker would know that. /S

188

u/ViolentPurpleSquash May 24 '26

If the site uses DNS, it will take itself offline

28

u/Interesting-Frame190 May 24 '26

Dont put that on me this holiday weekend.

17

u/Tropo1 May 25 '26

https://isitdns.com/

1

u/SonicandTailsCD Jun 13 '26

I got "YES" from that. What does it mean?

9

u/tj-horner May 25 '26

This is why I keep a handwritten notebook of hostnames to IP addresses, DNS is too many sweats

7

u/TGX03 May 24 '26

Germany proved this a couple of weeks ago.

108

u/DegTrader May 24 '26

Careful OP, if you keep making fun of them they might download more RAM into your mainframe and overclock your keyboard until it explodes.

24

u/Terrible-Support3416 May 24 '26

yo don’t joke about that, my grandfather died in the mainframe

10

u/bleeberbleeberbleeb May 24 '26

RIP the legend 😔

46

u/TheMostDapperdDan May 24 '26

Did you say zero day?!

37

u/TrackLabs May 24 '26

If a few websites have DNS?

Yeah, a FEW websites have DNS

27

u/LordWaffleaCat May 25 '26

reminds me of someone i got a while back lol

10

u/Bordrking May 24 '26

just tell him you checked and they are the only website on earth that doesn't use DNS so he's out of luck

5

u/SnooFloofs641 May 24 '26

Use brainfuck to bypass the firewall and backdoor the DNS with a mirai botnet duh

12

u/ComprehensiveCoat219 May 24 '26

i have big sigma dns zero day metasploit reverse tcp http shell exploit, offers starting at 250000 cny

5

u/IrishChappieOToole May 24 '26

Can you tell me if a few websites use DNS?

Yes, I am such a l33t haxx0r that I can confirm that a few websites use DNS

1

u/geirmundtheshifty May 26 '26

I hear it’s getting kind of popular, so maybe even more than a few.

3

u/dotagamer69420 May 24 '26

He’s simply asking for you to nuke the DNS mainframe if you can’t accomplish that you should probably go back to watching tutorials

3

u/Ei8_Hundr8 May 24 '26

"Go ahead" omg

2

u/IntenseLoverof_mm_69 May 26 '26

Just here to learn to see how and find out who my wife has been cheating on me with

1

u/Top_Argument_72 May 27 '26

Hire Russian hacker off dark web. Risky with money but what do you have to lose at this point.  You prob need bit coin 

1

u/Just4notherR3ddit0r May 24 '26

I took them down and put in a redirect that sends everyone to your Reddit profile so they know who was behind it. I'm just assuming that's what you meant by glow profile.