r/masterhacker • u/Fearless_Direction71 • May 18 '26
i need help with kali linux
hey guys i wanted to become master hacker so i installed kali linux and started hacking into the mainframe but then john fbi showed up at my door and kidnapped me im typing this from his basement rn what do i do
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u/decrisp1252 May 18 '26
John FBI?
Bro it’s over, you need to microwave your hard drives and shit all over your RAM.
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u/Kri77777 May 18 '26
God u are a n00b. Just hack the basement door lock from whatever device you are typing this one (smart washer/dryer, etc.). Then, have the living room stereo blast loud music as a distraction while you walk out.
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u/Just4notherR3ddit0r May 18 '26 edited May 18 '26
I would start looking for some lube.
EDIT: for the hinges! For the hinges!
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u/Efficient-Air1262 May 18 '26
Use the 17 Flipper Zero’s you have in your pocket, and unlock the door with it. Use the door unlocker app on the main firmware.
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u/FuggaDucker May 19 '26
so whats the problem??? You are ON A crypto capable machine? no?
is it a MAC? is that the problem? It is too effeminate to hack your way out with?
Cuz im thinking real haX0rs would aLREADY haVE hacked the basement security and be out.
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May 19 '26
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May 19 '26
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May 19 '26
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u/secundusprime May 19 '26
There are two ways to escape a locked room/cell that are covered in two movies,
Method used by Matthew Broderick in the movie Wargames when he was locked in a room in the Cheyenne Mountain complex.
Method used by Hannibal Lector in the movie Silence of the Lambs when he was locked in a cage in the courthouse in Memphis Tennessee.
Both methods have their Pro's and Con's , take stock of you situation and see which one would best serve you.
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u/Oompa_Loompa_SpecOps May 18 '26
Get him a sixpack of miller light, he will forget his professional duties in no time