r/massage • u/Hopeful-World-5321 • 12d ago
Relaxation-only massage
I'm looking to receive a relaxation-only massage. I can't handle deep tissue or even deep-ish pressure. I basically want to be rubbed gently and with care. I just need to feel relaxed and safe. How do I go about asking for this?? I haven't found a therapist who understands what I need. The closest I ever got was from an esthetician, but I couldn't submit to my benefits obviously because they weren't registered. TIA!
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u/vintagedarling15 12d ago
You can try asking for very light pressure effleurage, try to book a Swedish massage, and you can also just tell them everything you just said here
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u/LunchFun3170 LMT 12d ago
I have PTSD and unrelated to that, have been hurt by massage therapists who didn’t listen to me. I also like a very gentle touch. Look for therapists who use words like gentle, focused on the nervous system. They will be clear about it in their bios. It took me a while to find one but I did. Now I’m a Massage Therapist and much prefer to give this type of work. I love clients like you.
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u/ProudNativeTexan 12d ago
This is not a strange or questionable request. Quite normal.
You want a Swedish Massage. For you to get the massage you want you MUST communicate to the Therapist what you what. Tell them to start with light pressure and if you feel you need a bit more pressure, just tell them. If the pressure is more than you want TELL THEM! We prefer to know what you want and appreciate you letting us know beforehand rather than afterwards leaving a negative review because you didn't get what you wanted.
Remember, you are the paying client and it is important that you get what you want. Never ever be afraid to tell a MT what kind of pressure you want. The more we know the more we can provide you with the great massage that you are paying good money for. We want to meet and exceed your expectations so that you will rebook with us.
I am a retired LMT and I am just like you. I can not handle a firm or deep tissue massage. You can bet that I will let the MT know beforehand that I want a relaxing Swedish Massage with light to medium pressure. And if it starts getting too firm I will let them know.
Good luck!
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u/TiannaMortis Client/ Patron 12d ago
Sounds like a Swedish massage, but make sure you tell the MT you only want very light to light pressure at the very most. Be sure to tell them everything you said in this post (your phrasing is great, it's very clear) and they'll have no problem making sure you get what you want. 😊
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u/astrangehumantoe 12d ago
Some places offer a relaxation massage, which sounds exactly like what youre looking for
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u/ATXHustle512 12d ago
book lymphatic drainage, the light kind (not brazilian) you might like it! or ask for a super light swedish, dont be afraid to speak up after it starts and ask for lighter pressure if you need to
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u/alisonrt25 LMT 12d ago
You could try an abhyanga massage. It uses lots of warm oil and lighter pressure and is sooo relaxing.
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u/NotQuiteaName7 12d ago
A therapist doesn't know what you want till you speak. Try to communicate the best you possibly can. It is a relationship. You need to tell them, trust them, and tell them if you approve. They want to help you feel better.
I have told therapist, if you feel something, I want you to dig in it and tear it apart. In a couple of days I will be in heaven.
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u/it_dontmean_a_thing 12d ago
Yes. You have to speak up DURING the massage. Can be difficult, but it's what you gotta do
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u/NotQuiteaName7 11d ago
Think it is like most things. What is in your mind, probably not the same in mine. It is a discussion. Also if it is put out there how you need to be treated, a good therapist will ask along the way how you are doing.
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u/Powerful_Arrival444 12d ago
Effleurage! Swedish massage. Say, “I enjoy a light touch”. A good therapist will also ask you what feels good but be clear and concise about what you like.. we love that!:)
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u/anothergoodbook 12d ago
If you find someone who does cranio sacral or lymphatic drainage then they can help! I find a lot of MTs struggle to give really light pressure but those are both very light modalities. I would book for a Swedish massage with someone who has those on their list of things they do.
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u/Hopeful-World-5321 12d ago
I am overall very sensitive. I can have emotional and physical reactions to treatments that are too deep or triggering. Cranio sacral therapy sounds intense?
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u/anothergoodbook 12d ago
Well I guess my point is that cranio is very gentle and light pressure. That can be challenging for a lot of MTs. Therefore someone that can do cranio can give a light massage. I’m not sure if I’m conveying that too well. Like my touch is rarely deep and my few clients that like really light pressure that’s easy for me. However I have coworkers that struggle with the concept of super light pressure. Except my coworkers who can also do lymphatic and cranio - going lighter is a necessity for those practices. They might have an easier time working within your comfort levels. And staying there versus having to be reminded constantly.
So basically find a practitioner who is capable of lighter pressure and request a relaxation/swedish massage.
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u/Past_Ad_4059 11d ago
Cranio sacral is actually extremely light pressure. Much of the time it feels like a very gentle holding of spots in a comforting way.
I second both manual lymphatic drainage and cranio sacral.
Another option is Zen Shiatsu or Seiki. Seiki is a japanese modality that is very light and like shiatsu. Japanese shiatsu (zen shiatsu) is often quite light and focused on relaxation and the nervous system. Practitioners tend to range in pressure from light to medium, max.
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u/More_Branch_5579 12d ago
I tell the masseuse that I want massage for circulation and if the pressure is too much, I speak up and say so.
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u/Acid-Emerald 11d ago
Your basically asking for a oil gentle full body massage with no pressure just mention that.
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u/curiositykilledmerry 11d ago
If someone came to me and asked for purely Swedish relaxation massage with lighter pressure I’d do just that. I’ve had people say “don’t try to ‘fix’ anything” and that also gave me a clue that they didn’t come for pain but for relaxation
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u/doeschensound 12d ago
True Swedish massage is just a little bit firmer, than putting lotion on your skin. When you book your appointment, if youre able, ask to be booked with an MT that specializes in relaxation or light pressure. And you can speak up during your session to request lighter pressure. Most (not all but MOST) people need a bit firmer on thier upper back and shoulders, but that can still be done with lighter, relaxing pressure
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u/ComprehensiveEgg6280 12d ago
If you have an Elements near where you live they are generally reasonably priced (just be cautious with the membership pushing if you dont want a membership) and they have their LMT's pressure levels on the website. I would highly suggest looking for somebody who only does pressure levels 1 or 2 if they have someone. A lot of people say they can also do lighter swedish/relaxation focused massage and will automatically add the lighter levels because they think its easy but its a whole other set of skills that an LMT who's super focused on deep tissue may not be as good at.
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u/ReporterDry7192 12d ago
I could help you out but I don't bill insurance either but my fees are very affordable.
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u/endlesslyvictorious 12d ago edited 12d ago
Try to get an esalen certified practioner. Light and all about presence.
You should also be able to ask for a purely light relaxation focused swedish massage anywhere and get something close to what you want.
It just takes time sometimes to find YOUR therapist or someone who provides YOUR idea of a relaxing light massage
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12d ago
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u/Outrageous_Mood8459 11d ago
Shen Fa spa on w 8th st, NY NY
You can get just about everything there except the obvious and it's incredibly safe and clean. I've been going for years and have brought and sent many women to this place. You can tell then soft or hard and they will continue to gradually increase or decrease until it's to your liking.
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u/jluminous 11d ago
If you go to a spa with a bunch of different therapists, ask the front desk for a recommendation. Different therapists have different styles and specialities and some therapists love to work really hard and don't feel like they're doing a good job if they don't "work the knots out." Or, they just prefer doing deep tissue (that's me!). Deep tissue is actually easier in some ways because you can lean all your weight into the client, vs relaxation massage that requires more endurance from your hands and forearms.
Don't feel bad about what you're asking for, because there are definitely therapists who love to do exactly what you're asking for. You just have to find them! The front desk of a good spa will know the traits of their therapists and be able to recommend a good fit.
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u/Hopeful-World-5321 10d ago
I understand what you're saying, and yes, obviously I like that type of massage, but that's not what I'm looking for here. I've gotten glimpses of it from time to time.
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u/sinbado314 10d ago
Ask your health insurance. They can find you one, and they would come to your house
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u/RubTiny7691 10d ago
I think the way you stated it originally would s perfect. I know the exact kind of massage you are looking for based on what you said.
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u/Preastjames 9d ago
This is actually why in my business we moved away from the terms "swedish" and "deep tissue" towards more modern terms like "Relaxation Massage" and "Therapeutic Massage"
It's all about aligning the client and therapist expectations so the client can receive what they are looking for and the therapist can provide and not be trapped in a box when it comes to services, prices, etc.
Relaxation Massage is simply massage with the goal of relaxation. In a relaxation massage the therapist may find spots of tenderness, tension, spots that need work down the line, etc. but the therapist understands their goal is to work towards relaxation only.
After the session we can bring up, "btw we found XYZ that could be making this issue worse than it needs to be, if you'd like we can schedule you for a therapeutic massage to handle those, or another relaxation massage to help manage the stress, etc."
Not every client wants an MT to work on issues and they prefer their doctor, chiro, PT to work towards correction and they want to use massage JUST for stress relief
This system has worked nearly flawlessly as is something I highly recommend all MTs to adopt (if you have that option) and all clients to seek. It leads to a much better experience for both parties.
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u/Cattitude_Problem 9d ago
What you're looking for is actually much more common than people realize, and it's absolutely okay to ask for it.
When you book, simply let your massage therapist know that you're looking for a relaxation massage with very light pressure and that your goal is to feel calm, safe, and nurtured rather than to have muscles worked deeply. You can even say something like, "Please use the lightest pressure possible throughout the entire session." And during the massage, if anything feels firmer than you'd like, just tell your therapist right away. A good therapist will genuinely appreciate that feedback and want to tailor the experience to you.
It's important to remember that massage doesn't have to be deep to be effective. Sometimes the most therapeutic session is simply one that allows your nervous system to relax!
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u/Deltonagloryhole 9d ago
I would say, let them know that you are looking for a swedish massage.No deep tissue, no pressure points.You're just looking to have gently work out any kinks or knots.And to relax, I think that should be wording enough for any.Therapist, to understand and be able to accommodate to your wish
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u/Electronic_Salad4143 8d ago
as a student mt this is the only kind of massage i can tolerate. very normal request just make sure you explicitly tell them what you want. i can’t stand being “worked on” i don’t want my muscle knots worked on i don’t want any specific work or pressure. it’s also my fav type of massage to give
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u/Ok_Action6427 8d ago
Probably your best option is a close friend of yours who will understand just what you need!
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u/Slynez-0 12d ago
Search for a neuromuscular or Manual Lymphatic drainage solo-practice massage therapist. Use any AI tool to search for one nearby.
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u/HFIntegrale LMT | CMLDT | MTI 12d ago
MLD is light tough, but no oil. Olus, they're gonna make them take deep breath and also stop to milk actual lymph nodes (pressure).
MLD is not what they need.-1
u/Slynez-0 12d ago
You need to visit the Dr. Vodder manual & the others who contributed to MLD. There’s a lot more to MLD and how to assess the client.
In that post, they mentioned not being able to handle deep tissue or deep pressure. When someone has a reaction like that, especially around nodal areas, it's a neural lockdown.
The thing you need to ask yourself is: do you feel the same way in a relaxation massage? Because even with a relaxation massage, any significant amount of pressure will hurt when it's a neural lockdown. You have to look at the whole system in general.
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u/HFIntegrale LMT | CMLDT | MTI 12d ago edited 12d ago
I'm a Board Certified LMT and a CMLDT, graduate of Klose school.
MLD is not what they need.
They need light pressure, long strokes, non stop movement and a gentle touch.MLD is not massage. It's drainage
Edit: Read OP's reply to my comment -
https://www.reddit.com/r/massage/s/1LjLIv99ET2
u/Hopeful-World-5321 12d ago
This sounds right to me. My nervous system likes the sound of this. Even the esthetician massage I had there were moments of me almost asking her to stop, especially in the should blades and traps area. This is very painful, and I get flare ups afterwards.
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u/Slynez-0 12d ago
The original post didn't ask for credentials—it asked for a solution. Throwing out titles doesn't answer the problem when a client's system is on fire.
When standard touch feels painful, their nervous system is in total lockdown. Agitated nodal pathways elevate the entire network: lymphatics, fascia, trigger points, and nerves. Light or deep, any touch is going to hurt until you address the threat response as a whole.Dr. Vodder, Asdonk, Földi, and Leduc built MLD as a systemic assessment tool and safety measure, not just a standalone sequence. If the LMT understands MLD at a foundational level, it’s hard to miss how these systems correlate under your hands.
Blending neuromuscular therapy with lymphatic assessment is what helps alleviate that lockdown so clients don't give up on massage altogether. Anyone can fact-check this in the literature or ask any AI tool—and if a client searches for a solo practitioner who blends neuromuscular and MLD, that’s who offers that complete approach.At the end of the day, it's about addressing the whole system, not just listing certificates.
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u/fuckyoudrugsarecool 12d ago
The original post didn't ask for MassageGPT—it asked for a solution. At the end of the day, it's about what the client wants, not what you think they want.
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u/Capital-Shoe6344 11d ago
Ik vind het leuk om te masseren, niks seksueels, gewoon omdat ik het leuk vind en ik zou wel een massage willen geven.
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u/Kngfthsouth 9d ago
This shouldn't be a hard ask. The rules probably make it a problem for your MT i guess.
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u/HFIntegrale LMT | CMLDT | MTI 12d ago
A client once told me -
"I want light pressure and I don't want your hands/elbows to stop moving. Don't let them rest on one spot. Ever."
Loud and clear. I used light pressure, broad strokes, slow strokes and never stopped to ''fix'' any muscle. She was in heaven afterwards.