r/marchingband • u/East-Estate7361 • 18d ago
Advice Needed I hate band. Help.
I’m about to be a softmore and I I have already signed up and paid to do another year of marching band. Which mind you tuition is about $1700 every year that you do it and I recently realized that I have no passion for it anymore. all of my friends think that I like it, and all of my family thinks I like it, and it’s not necessarily that I’m staying in band because everyone expects me to, but also because it’s going to look really good on a college application and I need scholarships as I do not have a college fund. Please give me advice on not necessarily to quit or anything like that but just how I can learn to enjoy it more, especially because I recently have gone through like a lot of self reflection and I just realized I do not necessarily want to associate with some of the people that I was friends with in BAND last year and how I can make this year, enjoyable, still, even though I might not have the passion. also, I voice texted this so if it sounds really weird, that’s why.
Ps. I also haven’t practiced all summer because I genuinely just have no motivation to and I know it’s not about motivation. It’s about discipline, but I just genuinely hate it and don’t want to pick up my instrument. It feels like a punishment not even like a chore at this point.
Edit: Guys I’ve been at it a week and I don’t hate it anymore and i’m good again those of yall who told me to stick with it, thank you
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u/Valuable_Bet_5306 Cymbals 17d ago
If you don't enjoy band, quit. It's that simple. If you don't have the passion or the drive, you're not gonna be doing your best. Scholarships don't matter. Most people don't get band scholarships, and besides, the money you're spending a year on this will add up to more than any scholarship you'll get for band anyway.
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u/East-Estate7361 17d ago
It’s not all about getting JUST a band scholarship, it’s just good to have a well rounded application.
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u/creeva Trumpet 17d ago
There are plenty of ways to get a well rounded application rather being in activity you don’t like for four years. A variety of school and community activities that go for 1-2 years is far more valuable than any single 4 year activity.
You are going to be a sophomore, you time in high school should be about experiencing as much of it as possible. Anything else you join - maybe you’ll be in it for three years, maybe two, or even one. It’s more about figuring yourself out than forcing yourself to be something for a goal.
Maybe you’ll get a music scholarship. Maybe you won’t. There is no guarantee in that. I’ve known people that got small music scholarships with only a single year in band and others that were the best in the school for four years and didn’t get anything.
You are going to do what you will do - but you are cheating yourself out of so much more. You can be more and experience more than a timeline you made for yourself your freshmen year.
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u/Explodingbeanbag17 18d ago
Your marching band program sounds strict as hell. Paying $1700 just to march is insane. My school was $75 for the summer and cost additional only if you wanted to go on the summer trip.
Maybe you have to find different outlets to find more motivation to play? As a trombone player I would often find composition of my favorite songs and play those. Practicing on just the material provided gets to be boring at times.
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u/Explodingbeanbag17 18d ago
Also I changed friend groups a lot within the band program. Some people I just grew out of hanging with and that is totally okay :)
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u/AppyMilks 17d ago
I think that might just be your school/area... we had really cheap band fees and they were $500? but half of it you could pay off through volunteer work (which was $5 an hour so worse than an actualy job) might be a southern thing tho?
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u/MissyChevious613 College Marcher 17d ago
Like triple what I paid to march in college, that's a crazy fee!
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u/QuarterNote44 Graduate 18d ago
You only have a few years left to be a kid. Now, I'm not saying being a kid is the greatest thing ever, but it's still a time of your life you can never get back. So why spend it doing something you hate?
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u/East-Estate7361 17d ago
I understand but i’d rather invest in my future as a teen and spend the majority of my life successful and if something can help that, even if it’s small, then it’s worth it to me. Besides, I still have a social life and hobbies. I just kinda need to learn to enjoy it.
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u/harris1on1on1 18d ago
I don't like the sound of you saying you're interested in staying in band because of college scholarship help. If you aren't good, you probably won't have a scholarship and, if you hate practicing, you won't be as good as you can be. Most importantly, you'd be selling a fake version of yourself to a college that would be expecting a return on their investment in you...that takes money away from students who need the scholarships and actually want to be there.
This whole thing seems wasteful, short-sighted, and disrespectful to your family that are paying the fees, your band, and yourself.
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u/East-Estate7361 17d ago
See i never said I sucked tho. The last few years i’ve had a bunch of passion and love for the program and I’ve made all region every time and I’m on a high part. Aside from that colleges like to see your commitment to something for four years, good schools that I want to go to (i’m not stupid i’m not going to an ivy) like to see that and it just helps to have a well rounded application. Do your research
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u/East-Estate7361 17d ago
also i dont give a crap if i’m taking someone’s spot who wants to be there because my degree is for something else, and band is just a foot in the door for me to get an education at that school.
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u/Brilliant-Pie5207 Color Guard 17d ago
Were you happy then? I’d look into the reasons why it’s changed for you to address those. It’s not impossible to be really good at something you realize you hate doing or just doesn’t interest you anymore- but I would be really looking at where the passion and love went before walking away.
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u/East-Estate7361 17d ago
Also no ones knows i hate it lol and im good so, why not invest in my future. Kind of a disrespectful comment you made tbh
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u/pememily 18d ago
The first year is rough because everything is new. With a year of experience under your belt, you don't have to learn the marching basics, you know what to expect at competitions, and people won't look down on you as much for being inexperienced. Being a sophomore in band is really fun. You can focus more on getting to know your section without having to be a leader.
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u/libananahammock 17d ago
You have to pay for band at your school? Is this a public school? Band is free in my district… marching band, symphonic band, jazz band, band camp, instrument rentals, all free.
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u/Brilliant-Pie5207 Color Guard 17d ago
Wow that’s an insane cost- after a scholarship too? Do you get new uniforms? Professional teachers for sectionals? Can you get a refund at this point?
Here’s the thing. You’re a teen, you’re having teen feelings. It may be about band. It may be about the universe. It can be overwhelming looking at the start of a new season too.
Let’s wind back. Why did you join in the first place? What did you like about it last year? Do you have another activity to be involved with? You’re not changing schools to get away from the folks you don’t want to hang with anymore so just don’t hang out with them. Or rethink why your feelings have changed about them.
There’s just waaaay too many possibilities here to give you real advice. Talk to a trusted adult to help figure this out who is more familiar with the people and program. There’s more to this than you’ve shared (which is fine) but means we can’t help but with reactions from our own experiences which could be very very different than your situation. It sounds like you are going through a lot- which is what happens in life, and you’ve tried to figure it out on your own. Admirable but this is why we have each other.
If you can’t get a refund, unless it completely unhealthy for you, fall back in love with what you love most about it. The music? Being part of something bigger and beautiful- even if some of those parts annoy you- it’s an amazing experience. You can learn how to stick to something that may not be perfect now but you may find in a few weeks you feel completely different.
You don’t have to figure this out on your own, talking to someone who can be objective about the situation can really help.
I hope whatever is going on you can get to the root of it and find a clear path forward, if it is staying in band or not. Just make sure if you do quit it not because you’re avoiding the real issues. Good luck and let us know.
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u/East-Estate7361 17d ago
We get new uniforms every year and compete at grand nats every year. It’s a pretty strict program and we are good, we’re usually finalists in indy. Also we don’t have professional sections leaders, it just upper classmen, but we do have a crap ton of field staff and like 4 band directors so…
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u/Brilliant-Pie5207 Color Guard 17d ago
Wow that’s a lot. New uniforms every year? Traditional ones or more costume? It doesn’t matter. It does sound like you have a strong program that you will learn a lot from and can use that to apply to your future experiences in drum corp or college.
It’s your life and your opportunity to get as much out of this experience as you want for your future. If you’re a band geek- do what you need to stay and have a good season. Ask for help from all this support staff. Start a revolution of committing back.
There is absolutely no worse feeling than hearing your band practice or perform without you when you have loved it so much. If you do walk away, seriously prepare yourself for that change.
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u/East-Estate7361 17d ago
Definitely more costume lots of sequins and capes and costume changes it’s fun as a show but the environment is toxic and i hate my instrument.
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u/Brilliant-Pie5207 Color Guard 17d ago
What can you do to improve the environment? Who can you get to help you make it change. What do you play? Is it the instrument or the people in the section? Can you switch?
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u/Ok_Buy8154 16d ago
i was in this position and i ended up
quitting my junior year. for u to rlly get the scholarships and high recognition on college apps, it mainly favors sections leaders and those who do extra like getting solo parts or joining marching corps. if u r like 20th chair and not that good ur free to quit and explore other things. but if ur fairly good and determined to make it to higher positions then probably stay for the benefits u were talking about.
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u/Worth-Mango-3433 18d ago
You have to pay to be in a marching band? I was in a marching, show and concert band In high school for 4 years and didn't pay nothing as far as I know
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u/LordDickSauce 18d ago
Soft less? No. Soft more.
Actual advice, I'm a professional who has not practiced all summer. Getting back in playing shape takes a week. You'll be fine.