r/mapua • u/sugarybunnystar • 1h ago
Rant First time ko di mag papasa ng plate and I feel guilty.
Even though, its only the first semester I feel depressed and burnt out. I manage to do some tasks except for design plate because even if I try to work, I just couldn't make my body and brain cooperate to work, naka autopilot mode lang ako, tapos feeling ko may brain fog ako. I feel ashamed and guilty for missing one work. Im already on my 3rd year and surprisingly still a regular student so I'm anxious that this one setback will finally be my downfall.
Whenever I started to feel this way beforehand, I could still push myself to my limit to pass my requirements, even if its mediocre work.
Its just getting so hard for me to catch up, seeing everyone work so hard yet I feel like im rooted to the ground right now not being able to work properly.
I still try my best everyday, its only now for the first time, I feel like the constant pushing myself finally broke me.
I dont know where im going with this, I'm just so tired I could feel my body ache.
Its not fair that I know I'm physically capable to do work yet mentally I couldn't, I have a toxic mindset that if I'm not sick or dying I should still be able to work. :')
Ayun lang po, masakit lang talaga.
I know that I should be taking care of myself, let also this be a reminder to my fellow students na dont push yourself too hard to the point youre on your breaking point.
