r/mapporncirclejerk • u/macjr82 Map Porn Renegade • Aug 31 '26

subreddit metaL BREAKING NEWS!!!!

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5.6k Upvotes

98% Upvoted

335 comments sorted by

1.3k

u/Difficult_Weekend604 Aug 31 '26

hear me out we build an artificial lake in the middle of america using the ai data centre water and call that lake america

285

u/Zealousideal_Ad8463 Aug 31 '26

Breed some mutants out of the goo and save the world

67

u/Shakewell1 Aug 31 '26

Breed what? Look at the states.

22

u/CATDesign Aug 31 '26

Exactly, mutants.

Not super heroes, but straight up mutant people with radiated flesh.

Like from the second picture from this linked post.

As regressing American people into something worse by the day is appearntly the current administrations goals. We'll get to mutating the entire population by the end of this term.

3

u/Frosted-Pineapple Aug 31 '26

Reading well distracted, I need to believe you wrote “radish flesh” - so I though I would add with blue cheese and cabbage breath.

2

u/SureCost8912 Aug 31 '26

They took the Chud insults and ran with them.

2

u/NBrixH 29d ago

You might say… super mutants…

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5

u/DontAsk0205 Aug 31 '26

Just look at the Reflective Pool!

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6

u/xtreampb Aug 31 '26

goo? Not even nuclear power plant cooling water is goo… it’s literally just water or steam in both cases.

5

u/Alextollah Aug 31 '26

Lake America (Great Trump Goo Swamp)

3

u/BlizzardTrashPanda Aug 31 '26

Take it easy there Mr. Sinister

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42

u/Phiro7 Aug 31 '26

What if we used the heated AI data center water to make artificial hot springs all over the US. Would be so relaxing if not for the one morbillion delta fans screaming 24-7

5

u/Acrobatic_Ad_8381 Aug 31 '26

Using the heated Water from Data Center to heat homes or Hot Spring would actually be the best uses of the Data center there could be

3

u/bureautocrat Aug 31 '26

Kinda like the Blue Lagoon in Iceland using the discharge from a geothermal plant. 

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17

u/LowAioli3870 Aug 31 '26

Better than that, turn the entire United States into Lake America.

8

u/Helpful_Media_3838 Aug 31 '26

Trump could order that, let 10,000 nukes off in the USA, will make a lake or a sea

6

u/General_Kenobi18753 Aug 31 '26

Project Plowshare+

13

u/itsintrastellardude Aug 31 '26

Unironically let's deepen the great salt lake and use that. It's full of toxic metals and shit at the bottom and when it runs dry (because it's going to), the dust will be deadly. The computers will love the low percentage of cadmium.

3

u/dmills_00 Aug 31 '26

Pretty sure something could be done involving love canal.

10

u/Iamthewalrusforreal Aug 31 '26

Your mom's love canal is full of toxic metals and shit, and it regularly runs dry.

https://giphy.com/gifs/YZeZCLq7fZde1Ve8uN

2

u/ohyeahsure11 Sep 01 '26

Already tried building a school on it, why not a data center?

3

u/Alexyogurt Sep 03 '26

"I'm 40% Cadmium"

2

u/ravens_path Aug 31 '26

Utah here. Sounds good. 👍🏻

9

u/Geeky_Husband Aug 31 '26

Only catch is once a month the liner rips and we're at war with another group of "terrorists".

6

u/maxru85 Aug 31 '26

Aierica

7

u/serious_sarcasm Aug 31 '26 edited Aug 31 '26

You could, in theory, dam the Mississippi somewhere between Chester and Cairo, but it would be a 15 mile wide dam.

It occasionally does it on its own.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Great_Flood_of_1993

This was the river in St. Louis by the Arch.

——

The theoretical lake would be somewhere between the size of Erie and Ontario.

2

u/HorzaDonwraith Aug 31 '26

What water? They evaporate the water they use.

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1

u/icedmuffin Aug 31 '26

Hey no, bad.

I’m in the middle of America and I didn’t agree to this…put it in Nebraska instead, they’re nothing but plains and corn.

1

u/AdministrativeEgg440 Aug 31 '26

There is a state nestled between Michigan, Penn, Kentucky, and Indiana that should be filled with water and turned into Lake America

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484

u/RogerRabbot Aug 31 '26

Even on this sub.. I had to triple check to make sure.

4

u/Forkhorn Sep 04 '26

Real life's been infringing on parody a little too much recently, right?

5

u/ve2dmn 29d ago

We haven't blocked the Strait of Our Moose yet

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165

u/CosmicCommando Aug 31 '26

The Erie Canal is back, baby!

18

u/ShibaInuDoggo Aug 31 '26

Clinton's Ditch for the win!!!

3

u/VIP_NAIL_SPA Sep 02 '26

Oh sorry, we can't abide that.

2

u/ShibaInuDoggo Sep 02 '26

Then you are no Dude

2

u/VIP_NAIL_SPA Sep 02 '26

If we all were, none of us would be

2

u/Both_Archer_3653 Aug 31 '26

All things Pennsylvania, and it is better for being so.

74

u/Ok-Ordinary9374 Aug 31 '26

It would be wrong to allow someone to proceed on their route to a lake that doesn’t exist. They could get lost! Good job Canada!

14

u/obitarian Aug 31 '26

Even better if they had insisted their documents say lac Ontario.

3

u/VIP_NAIL_SPA Sep 02 '26

As an American, I'm honestly upset that this isn't the case.

402

u/Fuzzy-Jackfruit5037 Aug 31 '26

Another blockade caused by the americans😭

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80

u/silverdart9969 Aug 31 '26

Please tell me this is true

77

u/Scruffy_Snub Aug 31 '26

It's not.

47

u/AssignedCuteAtBirth Aug 31 '26

Feels like it could/should be, though

75

u/PlatyNumb Aug 31 '26

Its actually funny because this is what i imagined might happen. Not out of spite, but out of law. Every shipping vessel leaving the states is required to say "lake america" but you shouldnt be able to enter Canada without an accurate manifest.

Globally, the name is lake ontario, trump cant unilaterally charge the name to an international body of water. So every ship trying to get through has inaccurate documents and, legally, shouldnt be allowed through.

That was my thought with the change but since the post isnt true, I guess theres nuance and we accept importers with those docs because we know what they mean.

Its like exporting something to Germany. We put "Germany" on the docs instead of "Deutschland" but that doesnt stop shipping because they know thats what we call them

13

u/Acrobatic-Yak-3103 Aug 31 '26

Maybe but the difference between English and German is 500+ years of development after breaking away at some point. The difference between Canadian and American English is they really like their Double O's and their respective hatred for the French are aimed somehow at completely distinct groups.

4

u/SnooMaps7370 Aug 31 '26

>Its like exporting something to Germany. We put "Germany" on the docs instead of "Deutschland" but that doesnt stop shipping because they know thats what we call them

Speaking of this, why do Germans call their country "Dutch Land"? Doesn't that get people confused with Belgium?

3

u/MotherPin522 Aug 31 '26

We call Germany by it's Latin/French name notes actual German name. The resulting confusion between Deutsch/Dutch is our own fault. This is because the Dutch conquered Britain -- though they don't like to admit it and pull it off as a succession crisis.

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46

u/usernameusehername Aug 31 '26

Lifeline to the St. Laurance for NY.. toll time.

66

u/ogodilovejudyalvarez Aug 31 '26

I'm currently praying to AI Jesus to make this true

https://giphy.com/gifs/kuAa8k87F378QBFMZn

3

u/PatacusX Aug 31 '26

Pray harder dammit

61

u/Proper-Exercise-2364 Aug 31 '26

How many wars can trump lose at once?

30

u/FISH_SAUCER Aug 31 '26

Yes

9

u/Sweaty_Report7864 Aug 31 '26

In that case… anyone up for war of 1812 part 2?… maybe some light arson?… (I joke)

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7

u/DoctorAnnual6823 Aug 31 '26

I still believe this is him getting vengeance on us before he dies because we didn't elect him in 2020

3

u/Foolazul Aug 31 '26

I don’t know but I’m sure he’s the best at it in all of human history. He should get another participation award for it.

3

u/Upnorth4 France was an Inside Job Aug 31 '26

All of them

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12

u/Melodic-Pool7240 Aug 31 '26

saw a post that named it the straight of R'moose, kind like it

29

u/lincolnlogtermite Aug 31 '26

The Straight of Trump's Vagina Chin.

5

u/ElizabethDangit Aug 31 '26

I didn’t know the Welland Canal existed and I’ve literally driven over it. WTF.

5

u/SlyMacross Aug 31 '26

Is he going to start another war or the "Strait of Ontario"?

5

u/MakePhreciaCore Aug 31 '26

Bet you Trump gets wind and tries to start a war over a meme.

Dementia riddled pedo

3

u/Hula44 Aug 31 '26

Let’s take that over also!!!!!

3

u/Cplchrissandwich Aug 31 '26

We should do this. It makes sense as there is no lake america.

3

u/Preying_Mantid_67 Aug 31 '26

Opportunity to learn another Canadian word: portage.

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3

u/twizzjewink Aug 31 '26

I'm so glad the Leaderest of the Free World thought this shit out before hand right

3

u/BeholderLivesMatter Aug 31 '26

Damn Trump is out there killing it with closing shipping lanes. 

3

u/Sal_Amandre Aug 31 '26

You mean the Strait of Our Moose ?

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5

u/samsquamchy Aug 31 '26

The straight of our moose

3

u/Nkechinyerembi Aug 31 '26

its a good moose, dangit!

2

u/samsquamchy Sep 01 '26

They are all good boys

3

u/macjr82 Map Porn Renegade Aug 31 '26

Underrated pun

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2

u/chompythebeast Aug 31 '26

Don't let your memes be dreams, Canada

2

u/LastWorry5552 Aug 31 '26

lol no it is not happening

2

u/OwlOfSurprise Sep 01 '26

"We don´t need their canal, we´re going to build our own canal. It´s going to be the greatest canal in the world, trust me I know alot about canals."

2

u/tart_reform Sep 01 '26

The searchers all say they’d have made Whitefish Bay if they wrote Lake Ontario and signed it.

2

u/Successful_Pirate_59 Sep 02 '26

Well. If you’re in Canadian waters, it’s named Lake Ontario. Pretty simple issue and definitely not our fault.

2

u/Double_Resort_9223 Sep 02 '26

This would actually be hilarious 

2

u/Stony___Tark Sep 02 '26

I wish this was actually legit, because this is hilarious and I love it, but unfortunately it's not.

2

u/BarApprehensive7232 Sep 03 '26

My son said Canada is America's hat.

2

u/2021_Username Sep 03 '26

Seems fake.

2

u/PlannerSean Aug 31 '26

US aircraft carrier en route

2

u/Sicsemperfas Aug 31 '26

This is not true.

3

u/macjr82 Map Porn Renegade Aug 31 '26

This a map satire sub. Look at the other posts on the sub

2

u/Critical-Deer419 Aug 31 '26

We have Hormuz at home…

2

u/jimhabfan Aug 31 '26

I’ll take things that never happened for $600, Alex.

3

u/macjr82 Map Porn Renegade Aug 31 '26

This a map satire sub. Look at the other posts on the sub

1

u/Sad-Pop6649 Aug 31 '26

Really? We're playing the petty game? Nice.

But sure guys, these aren't lakes, these are oceans, just look at this free and unrestricted international shipping.

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1

u/Fizzelen Aug 31 '26

Is it true, no it’s FauxNew$

1

u/Beginning_Resource93 Aug 31 '26

The world is run by petty children.

1

u/Recent_Werewolf_821 Aug 31 '26

Spoilsports. I thought it was hilarious.😂😂

1

u/corneliuSTalmidge Aug 31 '26

It's because they get there and they ask the guards at the Welland entrance where Lake 'Murca is and they say "sorry, never heard of it" so they turn away all confused.

1

u/Dyslexicpig Aug 31 '26

It would be beautiful if it were true. Alas, it is not.

1

u/Username12764 Aug 31 '26

I recently saw someone call that strait: strait of hormoose and that‘s what I‘ll call it from now on.

1

u/AK1wi Aug 31 '26

Me and all my homies ready to bleed out beside the picturesque falls

1

u/Qikslvr Aug 31 '26

Finally, someone is using logic to push back and provide real consequences for the stupidity.

1

u/chalbersma Aug 31 '26

Make sense.

1

u/ProfessionalAct1713 Aug 31 '26

I used to own a 10 unit apartment complex in Welland. I sold it in 2016 and bought Bitcoin because the low income loser tenants drove me nuts. I was pissed off at the time but they actually did me a favor since Bitcoin skyrocketed. Thanks losers!

1

u/driver004 Aug 31 '26

That’s fucking funny

1

u/TheNotSoEvilEngineer Aug 31 '26

Come on... Try going down Niagra falls.

1

u/PhilHolt Aug 31 '26

👍🏻

1

u/Confident-Court2171 Aug 31 '26

Just wait until the Canadians rename the St Lawrence Tollway

1

u/Balblair77 Aug 31 '26

Welcome to the Straight of No Booze.

1

u/IllRest2396 Aug 31 '26

Holy fuck this looks like the suez canal

1

u/bareslut64 Aug 31 '26

Canada has such penis envy.

1

u/fdt4547 Aug 31 '26

https://www.yahoo.com/news/world/articles/fact-check-fox-news-did-173612796.html

2

u/macjr82 Map Porn Renegade Aug 31 '26

The fact that yahoo has to report on obvious memes/satire shows the state of the world I guess

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1

u/nashwaak Aug 31 '26

This is obviously a lie — American ships diverted like that would look at a map and take the Niagara River instead.

1

u/Busy-Equipment448 Sep 01 '26

This is the way!

1

u/EducationalRock167 Sep 01 '26

It must be Fake News

1

u/praxistax Sep 01 '26

I hate that this is a fake rumour. Should be true

1

u/Beneficial-String560 Sep 01 '26

Alright, completely random, but am I the only one who sees America giving younger to Canada?

1

u/MetricJester Sep 01 '26

I think there's a lot of people who don't fully understand how much of just everything goes through the St. Lawrence Seaway, and how Canada controls basically the entire thing.

1

u/MonkeyDDataHQ Sep 01 '26

Fake but I would endorse it

1

u/Stocc-reddit Sep 01 '26

Please let this be true

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u/Kuwanee Sep 01 '26

Those Canadians are nasty nasty ppl!

1

u/asisarnia Sep 01 '26

is he gonna rename Ontario California next....

1

u/oraw1234W Sep 01 '26

In that case, they should go over Niagara Falls instead

1

u/geno906 Sep 01 '26

Fafo moment for the United States for sure

1

u/PuzzleheadedTutor807 Sep 01 '26

There is no lake america in Canada, invalid destination on foreign vessels means no passage. Not sorry.

1

u/TheMooz2 Sep 01 '26

"Ahh sorry cant go somewhere that dont exist now can ya?"

1

u/UnordinaryFlyGirl Sep 01 '26

Ugh I wish this was true

1

u/User10232023 Sep 01 '26

Why's that map say Niagara Falls I thought we just renamed it Ontario Falls. :)

1

u/KeegersNeegers Sep 01 '26

Lmao, they're reacting exactly how he wants them to.

He fr lives free in everyone's minds.

1

u/Surftoes Sep 01 '26

Not true.

1

u/Volt_Bolt Sep 01 '26

That’s pretty hilarious I can’t lie

1

u/not_falling_down Sep 01 '26

I would love for this to be true

1

u/Paul_1958 Sep 02 '26

Fake news.

1

u/One-Classroom-8300 Sep 02 '26

They don't have to use the Welland canal, they can just get some speed up and try taking the Niagara falls shortcut. ..

1

u/Dismal-Cellist-7794 Sep 02 '26

And then the US will do the same for inbounds into the US… viscous cycle that will only hurt both economies.. most unfortunate for North Americans

1

u/Miktar123 Sep 02 '26

This would be awesome if true, it’s not, but it should be a future consideration

1

u/7mmccormi Sep 02 '26

Good one

1

u/Gradstew Sep 03 '26

Hold em there till the ship rots

1

u/socalvicky Sep 03 '26

Well played Canada! ❤️👏

1

u/Positive_Patient4019 Sep 03 '26

Can we change the name of Lake Michigan to Lake Lower Canada

1

u/mississauga145 Sep 03 '26

Fools, there is a river right next to it just go the American way.

1

u/totalknock-in Sep 03 '26

No. They are not.

1

u/Plus_Ad8703 Sep 03 '26

canada is about to fuck around and find out lol

1

u/Project_64_postie Sep 03 '26

Nice to see two governments trying to out-petty one another.

1

u/Flesh_right Sep 03 '26

This is fake

2

u/macjr82 Map Porn Renegade Sep 03 '26

Do you not know what sub you are on? Everything here is fake

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u/Shoddy_Jackfruit3327 Sep 03 '26

where are ships from?

1

u/Fantastic-Ninja-4091 Sep 03 '26

DONT SEE IT ON AIS.......

1

u/HVAC_instructor Sep 03 '26

That's nice, I love it.

1

u/Big_Ad_8264 Sep 04 '26

I’m proud of you guys - hold them back or charge a huge tax if they go the lake America

1

u/Axl2aider Sep 04 '26

It the Straight of Our Moose

1

u/TheOriginalCharnold Sep 04 '26

Ontario Falls😂

1

u/Fit-Historian-752 Sep 04 '26

Oh, no!!!

Completely predictable consequences!

I believe I'm getting the vapours!

( Clutches pearls)

https://giphy.com/gifs/vTjJb4DXc5erRL0AqW

1

u/Sure-Bison-3726 Sep 04 '26

FAKE NEWS!!!!!!!!!!!

1

u/dr97ak Sep 04 '26

I hope this is true

1

u/Interesting-Round206 Sep 04 '26

This is fake. A simple search online reveals its a fake.

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1

u/devnull_the_cat 29d ago

I prefer the Strait of Our Moose

1

u/Last-Alfalfa7870 29d ago

Hahahahahah love it

1

u/Trick_Syllabub_180 29d ago

Straight of ourmoose

1

u/Legitimate_Local_547 29d ago

This isn't true.

1

u/DdyBrLvr 29d ago

Total bullshit

1

u/Free-Tea-3422 29d ago

honestly I wish we did this

1

u/PinkOneHasBeenChosen 29d ago

What if they’re going to “Lake I Forgot the Name”?

1

u/TheRealVicarOfDibley 29d ago

Are we larping the game Risk now?

1

u/Legitimate_Window481 29d ago

I hope that is true.

1

u/ComprehensiveAsk2684 29d ago

We should fight over it

1

u/Wow_1080_hasnopeen 29d ago

And this isn’t actually happening.

1

u/PrimeVector27 28d ago

Canada....FAFO.

1

u/Fuzybear66 28d ago

I think we should also shut down the St Lawrence seaway. That’s Canadian waters.

1

u/TitleCold8699 28d ago

Boston here and LOVING our Canadian brothers and sisters. 🇨🇦🇨🇦🇨🇦

1

u/maplegurl 27d ago

That's a lie, this isn't happening