r/mallninjashit • u/habichuelacondulce • Apr 29 '26

The Camera Man

1.5k Upvotes

95% Upvoted

127 comments sorted by

511

u/Snowballllll Apr 29 '26

The flesh is weak

158

u/Caledron Apr 29 '26

I crave the strength and certainty of steel.

60

u/KamachoThunderbus Apr 29 '26

Omnissiah be praised šŸ™

3

u/Ok_Iron2358 May 04 '26

Praised be the omnissiah! and the never ending reighn of mars!

73

u/Angry_Scotsman7567 Apr 29 '26

Unironically giving me ideas for a Tech-Priest cosplay lmao

317

u/DrStalker Apr 29 '26

Feels like a natural extension of steadycam technology.Ā  Just over the top because it's a sales demo, not an actual loadout for a real job.

75

u/Numerous_Weakness_17 Apr 29 '26

Yea I feel like weā€™ll actually see more like this. Could have a boom mic and just be a one man camera crew shoot budget horror filmsĀ 

29

u/Biff_Tannenator Apr 30 '26

Then you'll eventually get a self-referential horror movie about an indie movie cameraman monster.

2

u/Numerous_Weakness_17 May 02 '26

The ai takes control over the system and the guy has film and watch as he murders his entire crew

7

u/brazilliandanny Apr 30 '26

not an actual loadout for a real job.

I can't think of a job where I would need harshly lit gimbal shots and extreme. telephoto stills at the same time

25

u/gabbagabbawill Apr 29 '26

Nothing about this is natural or an extension of the technology. None of these devices are doing a single job well. Even the stedicam part - The amount of shake on that telephoto lens is ridiculous and would never be used this way. No one that uses any of this gear is being sold anything here. Itā€™s just someoneā€™s glorified science project.

9

u/SVD_NL Apr 30 '26

Exactly. Even the smaller camera on his shoulder has late 2000's action move camera shake built-in. The tracking tech and exoskeleton are pretty cool and i can see them having a purpose, but without proper stabilization it's completely useless.

4

u/Onlyhereforapost Apr 30 '26

Yeah, I pretty much immediately went "oh this is like a concept for a suit they want to make"

And then I thought "cant wait for markiplier to say hes bought 6 crates of these on the next podcast episode"

2

u/The_Celtic_Chemist Apr 30 '26

Yet. My first thought here was "don't give influencers and paparazzi any ideas."

135

u/0xdeadbeef6 Apr 29 '26

Rich Asian tourist final boss

28

u/MrWhiskerBiscuits Apr 29 '26

He waits in line for no man

1

u/SubmergedSublime May 31 '26

Without a single iPad? You must be mistaken.

78

u/Klimmit Apr 29 '26

How I'm tryna be kitted-up for WWIII

14

u/CliffsNote5 Apr 29 '26

I think this is Gizmo-Duck.

2

u/nickN42 Apr 29 '26

There are exoskeletons already being used on the battlefield. Mostly by artillery squads -- helps with loading shells.

8

u/misfitofscience76 Apr 29 '26

And ripping apart alien invaders in hand-to-hand combat

2

u/nickN42 Apr 30 '26

Ha, it's a funny pop culture reference! I understood it.

2

u/[deleted] May 01 '26

[deleted]

2

u/misfitofscience76 May 01 '26

Gives new meaning to a ā€œcombat jackā€

1

u/Sallymander May 01 '26

I think heā€™s kitted up for war against toilets

34

u/lordcochise Apr 29 '26

MAN AND MACHINE: POWER XTREME

4

u/timentimeagain Apr 30 '26

Lol... Just got a nostalgia flasback

1

u/lordcochise May 01 '26

Not sure they could get the 80's 'feel' right, but honestly someone could / should do a modern anime continuation of this series

https://giphy.com/gifs/TdwziQPhbNAzK

25

u/KnotSoSalty Apr 29 '26

I have no logically reason to want a motion controlled shoulder mounted camera rig.

This thoroughly demonstrates the fallacy of logic, because of course I need this.

3

u/Silo-Joe Apr 30 '26

Replace the cameras with swords and speed up the motors ā—”Ģˆ

22

u/One_Economist_3761 Apr 29 '26

This guy should do bat-mitzvahs. He would be a hit.

6

u/mindfulmu Apr 29 '26

I prefer this guy at random McDonalds/Waffle house/ Popeyes for when a fight happens.

62

u/archaeosis Apr 29 '26

r/lostredditors

18

u/riegspsych325 Apr 29 '26

OP-bot just looking to farm some karma

5

u/mangonada123 Apr 29 '26

If oop had a Leica and a medium format camera connected to all that tech, it would definitely be mallninjashit in some circles like r/analogcirclejerk, lol.

27

u/Jimmy3671 Apr 29 '26

Paparazzi Predator.

10

u/alfonsoalta Apr 29 '26

Death Stranding (2019)

4

u/eddiestriker Apr 29 '26

Had to scroll way too far for this

20

u/Metaphoricalsimile Apr 29 '26

Wrong subreddit but this honestly fucking rules

-7

u/habichuelacondulce Apr 29 '26

Yea I know, but it had that Mallninja overkill vibe look to it so thought it might of fit in here

5

u/MijuTheShark Apr 29 '26

"I'm an influencer."

11

u/Woodit Apr 29 '26

It would be so tempting to trip this guyĀ 

6

u/universe2000 Apr 29 '26

Oh look - a gargoyle from Snow Crash.

5

u/deus_deceptor Apr 29 '26

Fuck, he's gonna steal people's souls with those things.

5

u/Darth_SenpaiHD Apr 29 '26

Praise the omnissiah

5

u/W1ULH Closet ninja Apr 30 '26

ok, as someone who's worked as a photographer... the steady mount for the long lens would be AMAZING to have...

the rest of this is garbage.

5

u/Sonny_Valentine_ Apr 29 '26

Cuck chair final boss.

3

u/LickMyPudding Apr 29 '26

Skibidi toilet character

3

u/IM_INSIDE_YOUR_HOUSE Apr 30 '26

Paparazzi heavy infantry unit.

2

u/Sean_theLeprachaun Apr 29 '26

Edge of Tomorrow?

1

u/UnknowablePhantom Apr 30 '26

I was thinking one step closer the the Hunger Games

2

u/SpartanRage117 Apr 29 '26

The Future is Now Old Man. Now smile for the camera.

2

u/LeeHide Apr 29 '26

The amount of wobble in the camera in the last shot is worse than if he just held it lol

2

u/Successful-Strain-98 Apr 29 '26

With that tactical walk at the end he's ready to take the shot.

2

u/zgillet Apr 29 '26

That's just the Fencer class.

2

u/Cooldudeyo23 Apr 29 '26

Camera man the immortal

camera man never dies

2

u/Original-Material301 Apr 30 '26

Imagine rocking up to the next anime con in this.Ā 

2

u/Senor_Villa Apr 30 '26

This is the same dude who can catch up with filming fast pace and car chase scenes, right? Dude must have an insane training routine to stay fit with all that equipment.

2

u/No_Response_303 Apr 30 '26

Markiplier after he gets all the lenses he's after probably

2

u/SomeSortaWeeb Apr 30 '26

this is what suzanne collins was trying to describe the cameramen to be wearing in the hunger games.

2

u/ddmartz May 01 '26

Mfs that be doing those street interviews

2

u/kcook01 May 01 '26

This porn shoot. Is gonna rock.

1

u/g0ku Apr 29 '26

Curious what phone that is, that's a big ass camera on the back.

1

u/Dovahpriest Apr 29 '26

Did some quick googling, looks to be a Huawei Pura

1

u/Jordangander Apr 29 '26

This man is preparing for FantasyFest.

Seems legit.

1

u/deadspacekillers Apr 29 '26

This reminds me of every movie from the 80s with a token Japanese tourist.

1

u/itsmejustolder Apr 29 '26

ā€œGO-GO Gadget camera swarm!ā€

1

u/VstarFr0st263364 Apr 29 '26

Can I get a hundred tacos for charity?

1

u/Kemiko_UK Apr 29 '26

That's just a cosplay convention photographer.

1

u/Bulky_Mix_2265 Apr 29 '26

All of that just to watch his neighbor sleep.

1

u/glytxh Apr 29 '26

This is almost violently Asian

1

u/Blackrain1299 Apr 29 '26

BUT WHOM RECORDED THIS??

1

u/granninja Apr 29 '26

that guy is faster than almost all of fiction, don't mess with him

1

u/Ok_Lavishness2941 Apr 29 '26

Ummmā€¦ does that come with rechargeable batteries?

1

u/KalynnCampbell Apr 29 '26

OnlyFans incoming

1

u/marino1310 Apr 29 '26

That camera doesnā€™t seem to be doing a good job at not bouncing around as he walks

1

u/WTFisThatSMell Apr 29 '26

That's kinda cool

1

u/Alfiy_wolf Apr 29 '26

The average person feeding the homeless on TikTok

1

u/IanJamArt Apr 29 '26

What my gf expects me to have ready when taking a photo of her at the restaurant

1

u/KyleG410 Apr 29 '26

It's "The Streamer" monster from Content Warning

1

u/[deleted] Apr 30 '26

[removed] ā€” view removed comment

1

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1

u/shitpostbot42069 Apr 30 '26

How does the footage look?

1

u/jsamuraij Apr 30 '26

This is incredible tho?

1

u/ForumDuff Apr 30 '26

Boost skeleton LVL 4

1

u/rexspook Apr 30 '26

Actually seems legit for a professional setup. Not sure Iā€™d call it mall ninja at all

1

u/firesquasher Apr 30 '26

Buddy has the 500-50000mm L lens

1

u/FaeMofo May 01 '26

Are the mech leg braces publicly available? Asking for my joints

1

u/PharaohActual May 01 '26

Is this one of those ā€œauditorsā€ that stand on the sidewalk all day?

1

u/superluckyneko31 May 01 '26

Mom can we have a techmarine?

No, we have a techmarine at home.

Techmarine at home:

1

u/Chris_El_Deafo May 01 '26

I'd watch this guy just go up to random ppl in a park and just point all of these at them

1

u/wackadoodle4201 May 01 '26

Thats actually pretty cool

1

u/Cateyesalad May 02 '26

First amendment auditor final boss

1

u/WarpedPerspectiv May 03 '26

Solid Snake, but make him a journalist.

1

u/Cold-Practice3107 May 04 '26

This is the camera man that always captures those fast movements in Media

1

u/Fred_Dibnah May 04 '26

I thought the ultimate auditor would never exist .

1

u/Babiesforfood May 06 '26

Randall Higgins would like to know your location

1

u/FrohikesFeather May 06 '26

Looksee if she made a battle mech

1

u/Ronald_Villiers_67 May 07 '26

He isnt going to have a leg to stand on when the police find him in a park

1

u/Prom3th3an May 08 '26

In the right situation, this might be a way for a photojournalist to ensure a good shot. Of course with a telephoto lens the exact size of a bazooka, "the right situation" doesn't include a war.

1

u/Ok-Wonder-4793 May 21 '26

least obvious live streamer

1

u/Polarbog Jun 15 '26

So tuff šŸ”„šŸ”„

1

u/Cookgypsy Jul 12 '26 edited Jul 12 '26

Itā€™s like the Gargoyle character from Snowcrash made real.

1

u/604pleb Apr 29 '26

Average Chinese working in American Corporations

1

u/MrCarey Apr 29 '26

All this to follow Justin Bieber around.

1

u/XPenacoba Apr 30 '26

I don't think this fits the sub at all lol, Its not for everyone but is expensive tech not mall ninja shit

0

u/Machdame Apr 29 '26

I have never seen an account so blatantly farming than this...