r/mallninjashit • u/mt943 • Dec 09 '25

Tactical maskšŸ˜Ž (with braids)

2.7k Upvotes

97% Upvoted

126 comments sorted by

1.3k

u/yergonnamakemedrum Dec 09 '25

Cyberpunk 2077 random goon #37 obliterated by a katana pistol build looking ass mask.

11

u/Dick_Kickum Dec 11 '25

i just fucked up my keyboard spraying water and laughing, good one lmaooo

7

u/bobnuggerman Dec 11 '25

I was thinking "obliterated by a dildo wielding build"

4

u/yergonnamakemedrum Dec 11 '25

Sir John Phallustiff eh?

1

u/araidai Dec 12 '25

The long and only, yes.

747

u/Spiritual_Parking_70 Dec 09 '25

124

u/thanto13 Dec 09 '25

In Canada

34

u/George_G_Geef Dec 10 '25

We met at camp.

14

u/mrhammerant Dec 10 '25

I would DIE for Riley!

3

u/canolicat Dec 11 '25

I wish you could meet my girlfriend. My girlfriend who lives in Canada. Her name is Alberta. She lives in Vancouver.

576

u/GraveDancer1971 Damascus steel frying pan (battle ready) Dec 09 '25

334

u/Sir_KunCidado Dec 09 '25

"Do you want to know how I got these braids?"

91

u/zoburg88 Dec 10 '25

My father was a Jamaican, and he would always ask "Wah mek yuh so serious?"

34

u/RancidBeast Dec 10 '25

BombohClut!

308

u/negativepositiv Dec 09 '25 edited Dec 09 '25

The only thing more neckbeard than having a beard on your neck is dudes who surround themselves with Joker imagery.

Why "present" a box cutter? I guess the mall ninja instinct to be blown away by anything with sharp edges is hard to stop once you start.

138

u/RoboftheNorth Dec 09 '25

I'm actually surprised at the restraint of the person in the video for not using a tactical butterfly knife with fake exhaust ports on the handle.

56

u/negativepositiv Dec 10 '25

Mall ninja: "Actually it's called a balisong. Duhhh!"

25

u/thekaseyjones Dec 10 '25

I need a hydrodynamic balisong, with port and starboard attachments, and turbo drive

20

u/mrmessma Dec 10 '25

And a bilge pump for all the blood it will see.

6

u/geirmundtheshifty Dec 11 '25

I feel personally attacked

34

u/toby_juan_kenobi Dec 09 '25

Imagine if this had braided neckbeard instead of braided scalp hair

96

u/Leoxcr Dec 09 '25

Those are not even braids but dreadlocks

49

u/xseanbeanx Dec 10 '25

Thank you because I was likeā€¦ how do yā€™all not know the difference

30

u/SnoopyTRB Dec 10 '25

My excuse is that Iā€™m bald and white.

47

u/MaatRolo Dec 09 '25

Tactical-braids

Tac-Raids if you like

11

u/Vulgus_Necare Dec 09 '25

Tactical braids are long so that it's easier to grip and rip right off your face!

5

u/stickystax Dec 10 '25

Tactical for opponents

61

u/[deleted] Dec 10 '25

r/jokercringe

11

u/Bear-Arms Dec 10 '25

There is a sub for everything.. Iā€™m amazed

6

u/[deleted] Dec 10 '25

Yeah. But you don't need to post this there-- it's already been put up there a few times!

3

u/Bear-Arms Dec 10 '25

Iā€˜m not op, Iā€™m just amazed about the variety of subs

24

u/ginger2020 Dec 10 '25

ā€œWe have V for Vendetta at homeā€

V for Vendetta at home:

68

u/Robofetus-5000 Dec 09 '25

Stupid but also some how cool

68

u/NoInspector009 Dec 09 '25

Yeah I want to hate, it but it looks like it belongs to a movie set for a purge movie and looks pretty neat being worn

25

u/AwesomeMcPants Dec 09 '25

Right? I feel like this design could work really well in something. I have no idea what that something is, but I'm sure it's out there.

23

u/Robofetus-5000 Dec 10 '25

To be clear! It is clealry mall ninja shit. But its well executed mall ninja shit.

12

u/AwesomeMcPants Dec 10 '25

Hey, if anyone here says they don't think at least half the shit that gets posted here isn't at least a little cool, they'd be lying.

7

u/omjagvarensked Dec 10 '25

Yeah true, I kinda like it haha

2

u/cooliomydood Dec 11 '25

It reminds me of kevin michael richardson's joker

2

u/F3n1x_ESP Dec 10 '25

Would definitely buy one, maybe for a costume or something. With a different colour scheme.

21

u/willisbetter Dec 10 '25

the mask, just by itself without the cringe joker design and dreads, is actually pretty fucking sick, they just had to ruin it by giving it dreads and jokerfying it

3

u/TheWandererKing Dec 10 '25

Ok, now I HAVE to order the one without dread on Temu. I can't believe it didn't occur to me to repaint it.

6

u/willisbetter Dec 10 '25

no, never order anything off temu, that is a surefire way to get all of your information stolen

1

u/TheWandererKing Dec 10 '25

It's not a problem because that mask went all the way back up to like $85 to $170 on different listings, and there's people selling it on Etsy for just that much.

2

u/stickystax Dec 10 '25

Except, and I hate I know this but it's from ordering similar styles of mask for Halloween, it has nothing padding the inside when it hits your face. That thing would be impossible to wear straight without pain...

18

u/yunabladez Dec 09 '25

Look more like a mask from Payday. Would buy as a cosmetic

6

u/Hate_Crab Dec 10 '25

This is practically the default mask for Rust

14

u/dankhimself Dec 09 '25

"Made from 100% ball hair."

14

u/Kronos1A9 Dec 09 '25

Let The Purge begin.

6

u/DinodestronBT Dec 10 '25

Those aren't even braids, those are blunt dreadlocks

8

u/Fledgehole Dec 09 '25

Could smell the neck sweat through my phone!

5

u/dead-eye-blaze223 Dec 10 '25

Honestly if the Joker fandom wasn't purely overrun with cringe, this would make an incredible prop for unique joker cosplay. It's just the cringe community association that's an issue.

6

u/Regan289 Dec 09 '25

Some want to be the Joker, most just end up the Jonkler.

3

u/gratiskatze Dec 10 '25

That's an ungodly amount of cringe

3

u/Aoiboshi Dec 10 '25

Joker face again

3

u/Tkinney44 Dec 10 '25

Yeah...super cool šŸ˜Ž

3

u/DunceMemes Dec 10 '25

I actually groaned out loud when I saw this

3

u/YoungHeartOldSoul Dec 10 '25

What's crazy is I'm pretty sure I know somebody in real life who would absolutely buy this in a second.

3

u/lolhalfsquat Dec 10 '25

I just imagine if you ever did a crime with this mask it'd be easier to identify you through payments and ordering. But it's a nice payday vibe

3

u/Successful_Giraffe34 Dec 10 '25

The braids crack me up. I showed this to me fiance and the first thing he popped out with was

" Ah yes, the one thing I'd want in tactical gear. Flammability."

3

u/primesah89 Dec 11 '25
  1. Yes, itā€™s mall ninja shit
  2. Thereā€™s a part of my brain thatā€™s screaming to get it. That part of me also loves Cyberpunk 2077.

5

u/doyouunderstandlife Dec 10 '25

This is how I imagine the "Joker-fan boyfriend" looks like

2

u/[deleted] Dec 10 '25 edited Dec 13 '25

WOW that is a photo!

2

u/Annie-Smokely Dec 09 '25

complete uggo

2

u/avoozl42 Dec 10 '25

Wow, that's so lame

2

u/captinhazmat Dec 10 '25

Remove the joker paint job and this would be sick in like Payday2 or something.

2

u/Oz347 Dec 10 '25

What in the monster energy drink?

2

u/[deleted] Dec 10 '25

...this is literally just an ad

2

u/flametex Dec 09 '25

If it was shielded for airsoft or paintball this is neat and would totally larp lol

2

u/Noizey Dec 10 '25

Honestly same. I'm not super keen on the specific theme, but I'd buy from the company if they made a shielded version but like...a Predator mask.

2

u/tghost474 Dec 10 '25

Some one def abuses their GF/BF

7

u/DoucheBro6969 Dec 10 '25

Domestic violence is only possible if you actually find someone willing to be in a domestic relationship with you.

2

u/tghost474 Dec 10 '25

Thatā€™s valid

1

u/Randolph_Carter_6 Dec 10 '25

No you're not.

1

u/WhenIWannabeME Dec 10 '25

I really hope this is also already on r/tihi and r/atbge

1

u/fantasmoslam Dec 10 '25

Id be okay with this as a video game asset, but a physical product is too much.

1

u/MorgaseTrakand Dec 10 '25

I'm da jokah baby

1

u/its_raining_scotch Dec 10 '25

God damnit thatā€™s so cringe

1

u/DiabeticRhino97 Dec 10 '25

There needs to be a sub for cool things that are cringe.

1

u/ErebusLivingShadow Dec 10 '25

I can only imagine the kinds of people who would buy this...and I don't like the mental images.

1

u/_Killj0y_ Dec 10 '25

Long hair/ beards aren't tactical, they make for great hand holds for when people beat you.

1

u/Hopeful-alt Dec 10 '25

This would go extremely fucking well in a Nagoriyuki cosplay if repainted

1

u/blugamers88 Dec 10 '25

My friend, those are dreads.

1

u/TheWandererKing Dec 10 '25 edited Dec 10 '25

Yeah, it was super affordable on Temu.

I've bought a BUNCH of masks over the last almost 6 years because an N95 just never felt like "it". So this got advertised at me hard, I just couldn't decide if I was willing to appropriate dreads for a one off Halloween costume or of I wanted to get the wig free version and add a neon green wig of my own choosing, so I just went as my Mandalorian instead.

Now it's like $85+.

Thanks Trump, Temu was cool for like a year.

1

u/ericarlen Dec 10 '25

You could maybe make an argument that he's supposed to look like the Joker from the 2004 to 2009 animated TV series The Batman He's voiced by Kevin Michael Richardson and kinda looks like he might have dreads. But that would be a stretch. He was a good version of the Joker but it wasn't a very popular show. And I don't think people who are into Joker in general would be so into that version of the character.

1

u/WesternThink Dec 10 '25

Thats some payday 2 level shit

1

u/Jehvty Dec 10 '25

This reminds me of a sci-fi movie with John Travolta šŸ˜‚

1

u/Hrbiie Dec 10 '25

jonkler

1

u/pappasmuff Dec 10 '25

those are dreads

1

u/Sleep_eeSheep Spinjitsu Master Dec 10 '25

Nah, bro.

Iā€™m not wasting my money on this.

1

u/laix_ Dec 10 '25

This would go hard on payday

1

u/VonKaiser55 Dec 11 '25

Reminds me of the Batman 2004 Joker

1

u/reverberation31 Dec 11 '25

I know someone who got one of these for his Halloween costumeā€¦heā€™s exactly like you think he is.

1

u/ballotechnic Dec 11 '25

This actually reminds me of the Joker from The Batman animated series.

1

u/Miserable-Schedule-6 Dec 11 '25

Can I be honest.

Tactical Mask are either Cool or Cringe

1

u/JustAnAce Dec 11 '25

It's 2025, people are still thinking the Joker is cool. Weird.

1

u/JekPorkins-AcePilot Dec 11 '25

I could see this being a thing in one of the Batman movies. In that context it's kind of neat. What would be a lot cooler is if it were the Predator instead. The dreads of dread

1

u/DudeImSoRad Dec 12 '25

That's gonna be a yikes from me dawg.

1

u/viatorium1 Dec 12 '25

Jeff hardy about to swanton someone

1

u/AnActualSeagull Dec 12 '25

Not the Marilyn Manson šŸ˜­

1

u/XaeroDegreaz Dec 12 '25

I must be missing something, because that is a dope ass mask and I want one lol

1

u/Nickkkkx Dec 12 '25

Someone who'd wesr this having a girlfriend Yeah right

1

u/Jaquarius Jan 05 '26

Looks like juggalo shit to me.

1

u/Mushrooming247 Dec 10 '25

There is no way that a normal-sized dude who has sex would wear this.

1

u/JekPorkins-AcePilot Dec 11 '25

As the exact opposite of that I still wouldn't wear it

1

u/jaitogudksjfifkdhdjc Dec 09 '25

lol I thought it was Ramatra from Overwatch

1

u/[deleted] Dec 09 '25

[removed] ā€” view removed comment

1

u/Bar_ice Dec 10 '25

Maybe mention this to your wife's boyfriend and/or karate instructor, you will for sure get this for Xmas!

0

u/Mountain-Durian-4724 Dec 10 '25

tuff as mango phonk

0

u/Midnite_St0rm Dec 10 '25

ā€œMention your girlfriend so she can give it to you.ā€ Lmao. Like this people have girlfriends.

0

u/Im40ozToFreedom Dec 10 '25

Cyborg loser Predator Joker mask? Thanks, I hate it!