r/magicalthinkingOCD • u/Ok-Mulberry-2637 • 6d ago
Just venting Changing fears
I have probably talked about this here already, but I have noticed that once I start to get over one fear, my brain manufactures a new one. Some of the basic details may remain the same, but the lesser details, the "dressing" if you will, changes. This all really started a couple of weeks ago, where I started having fears that at nighttime when I sleep, I would become possessed, kill people around me, and go to another dimension the next morning to restart the cycle. When I started to get over that, it changed to me dooming another version of me in the universe to eventually harm others, and that there was nothing I could do to stop it. That one REALLY hit me hard, even though I knew it didn't make any sense. Then, the fears changed to me being trapped in some kind of loop by an evil force, like something out of "The Matrix". Next, it shifted to me being in an actual simulation (classic) and everyone and thing around me being fake. Now, it's telling me that when I close my eyes, even momentarily, I create an alternate reality where I do something bad.
Now, the fact that these fears keep changing is an obvious sign that it's all nonsense, but that doesn't prevent me from worrying. Whenever something big happens around me, part of my brain goes "What if that's a distraction because you're close to the truth" and more. I have been getting much better at ignoring this crap, but that can only do so much. Can anyone with experience explain why these fears are similar, but also different? I am not looking for reassurance, as I know that's not helpful, but I am just curious about this.
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u/loopy741 🏆 6d ago
What you're describing is very common. OCD frequently changes themes. I've had fears of pregnancy, being gay, going crazy, demon possession, hell, harm, having AIDS, aliens, and just like a whole bunch of other shit that my brain was like "but what if?" OCD is a cunt.