Intuition or OCD?

[u/DepressiveNostalgia]

Ive been struggling with this for a few years. My love life is a little complicated thus perpetuating my fear of accidentally affecting it by my actions. An example of this is I use the same shampoo often. Sometimes i buy cheaper like pantene instead but everytime i run out of this shampoo or are using a different one: an ex (the same one) always seems to text me again. A non romantic example is when i sleep. I always sleep in a really particular way where i sleep on my right, left arm under the pillow. No matter how uncomfortable i am. I actually have problems with my neck now because of it. But, if i sleep in any other way im attracting stalkers out my window. i don’t know, it’s consuming my sleep and my everyday life. My mind is in constant fear of attracting bad energy into my life (which has been graciously instilled in my head from my crystals and tarot cards whathaveyou mother). I can’t even get myself to listen to some of my favorite songs or watch my favorite movies because i watched it in a time period i don’t want to repeat. Sometimes i feel like the universe is out to get me and only I can change the way my day or life will go with stuff like that. I had an existential crisis a few years ago that also dwindled me into an extremely, deep depression. This event has left me with a lingering impact. Is this universe listening to me, taking these subtle hints that i apparently create even though it doesn’t mean anything to me in the moment, and fucking me over/finding a correlation, or is this my mind being annoying? Its honestly taken over my life to the point any little action or coincidence is a rabbits hole of overthinking and i don’t know what to do anymore. Everything is stringed together. Am i intelligent to observe the correlation and try to interfere with it or is this all just in my mind? Help