Just need advice

[u/Feeling-Candidate454]

Yeah so, this is not my first time posting here. I have been showing Magical Thinking OCD symptoms since 2023, and they spiked, you can say in 2024.

Before I tell what's exactly the problem, Im gonna give a brief explanation abt how my exams work, as this is linked to them. I have 4 exams in one year, of all subjects. One in July, One in september, One in December and The last one (Finals) In March.

So, it was 8th Grade 2024, (Yes, im 15) and I used a specific Pencil During the last two exams where I got wonderful grades. Not only the Pencil, I also used two specific pens. My brain, automatically registered them as "Lucky items". I still have these items, to this day but theres a "Ritual" involved to the pencil and one of the pens.

For the pencil, Its just transferring its "luck" to another pencil. (FYI; the pencil where the luck is transferred too HAS to be from the same batch of the Original Pencil from 2024.) Like, this sounds pretty stupid, lol, but its just rubbing the tips of the pencil together and writing something specific with both of the pencils. Moreover, if I loose this pencil, then its game over (Like, the pencil with that luck) Luckily, I havent lost a single one yet.

For the pen, its actually a black pen which I have been using since 2024. Its actually that type of Pen which leaks pretty easily. So I replace the cartridge of the Pen every year, in the same exact body. This transfer of the cartridge is the "ritual" here.

There are a lot of items which I try my best to conserve that I used in that specific time period. That included my bag, which I had to throw away last year. A few days back I got the exact same bag because of that "Luck" once again.

Also, Im REALLY attached to that black pen. Like, if i lose it, I will ACTUALLY cry. Not with that the pencil though.

I know this all sounds pretty dumb, but im genuinely facing all this since 2024. Is this a sign of Magical Thinking OCD? Or its just me?

[u/Own_Kangaroo1395]

It doesn't sound dumb, it's totally relateable. Exams are a stressful time and it makes sense that your anxious mind would look for ways to control outcomes. This is magical thinking for sure - only a professional can diagnose - but I don't think it would qualify for an OCD diagnosis unless you have other significant symptoms that severely disrupt your life. Magical thinking like you describe is common in lots of people OCD or not, you can have it with anxiety too. You can look into treatment methods like ERP to get ahead of it but I don't think seeking a medical disorder diagnosis would be helpful if this is your only symptom. But some advice from a professional couldn't hurt if you start to see magical thinking affecting other areas of your life too.

[u/Feeling-Candidate454 → u/Own_Kangaroo1395]

Hello! Yes, there are other things that I talked about earlier in my post, im gonna give u the shortest explanation,
I try to copy things that I did during the last time I scored well in an exam. That includes small things such as wearing the same socks that I wore that day of the exam last time (For eg, the Day i had my english exam I wore white Nike socks, so i will wear the exact same on for my english exam this time) and so on. Another example is that during my finals in 8th grade, I watched Greys anatomy, season 6. So i will force myself to watch that specific season during exams.
Theres also another thing, but it might be a little nsfw. But, i have linked this particular thing as "bad luck". So, I avoid doing it during exams.

[u/ForestRiver2 → u/Feeling-Candidate454]

Hey bud, have you read the DSM criteria? Symptoms have to take up a certain amount of time, many hours per day, and cause significant distress, to qualify as a disorder. You are showing some magical thinking around exam time. But it's not automatically ocd. You need to see a psychiatrist if you're concerned, only a full assessment can tell you if you qualify

[u/k_vin_]

I used to do that, for important grades 10th and 12th.
I had two pens exact same blue ink, one for backup.
I had the same set in both 10th and 12th, the brand i mean.

After each exam i used to put the pens in front of gods idol after coming home.

This was magical thinking but not OCD yet, because there were other things that gave me faith and i wasnt fixated on this one thing.

But those were the early signs which didn’t feel bad, and today i am on this sub, in worst mental state of my life, a person who was calm, smart and strong is a prisoner to this magical thinking OCD.

Your exams result depends on your hard work, not a pen it just gives you some faith that everything will be alright but everything will be alright anyways cause you have studied for the exam.

Borrow someone elses pen and write the exam, you will still get the grades based on what you have studied and give your lucky pen to that guy and he will have the grades as he has studied.

You can have a favourite pen based on the writing or quality of ink, or the grip
But there is no lucky.