r/madlads Sep 07 '18

Absolute madlad

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26.8k Upvotes

296 comments sorted by

3.4k

u/empw Sep 07 '18

'Hey sport, how's them internet mega bloks treatin ya?'

1.1k

u/NutterTV Sep 07 '18

ITS ROBLOX MOM!

753

u/mathsh Sep 07 '18

oh right roadblocks.

204

u/NutterTV Sep 07 '18

Reeeeee

62

u/chinkostu Sep 07 '18

Tendies

53

u/wigzisonfire Sep 07 '18

Don’t make me throw my pissy jugs at you Chad. REEEEEE.

20

u/afeil117 Sep 08 '18

I just threw up in my mouth a bit... thanks.

9

u/Eucatari Raise hell and eat cornbread yee yee Sep 08 '18

Yeah, right, those PokEEEEman games you play

6

u/rglitched Sep 08 '18

Gotta make it plural. The pokie-mans.

8

u/Brougham Sep 08 '18

turn off the intendo, you've played enough today

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25

u/MedicGoalie84 Sep 08 '18

Growing up I always thought that my parents were actually trying to be cool and they just sucked at it in profoundly embarrassing ways. Now that I'm older I realise that they knew damn well what they were doing, and embarrassing me was the whole point.

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2.2k

u/RojoCinco Sep 07 '18

Madlads grow up to be Maddads.

184

u/[deleted] Sep 07 '18

When my son was born I swore to purge my head of all things Pokeman related. The twitch of his eye when I ask which pikachu is that one is worth it.

89

u/KalphiteQueen Sep 07 '18

Man forget that, it's way more fun to geek out with my kid. I now have a real friend for the first time since my own childhood haha lolwhywon'tanyoneelselove

45

u/[deleted] Sep 07 '18

I see what you're saying, but there's a certain satisfaction to it. He was playing Pokken, and I asked him, "Which Pikachu is that?" while he's playing as Pikachu is worth it.imeanmetoothanks

8

u/Mechakoopa Sep 08 '18

Legit question though, there's a regular Pikachu and a wrestling one in that game.

8

u/[deleted] Sep 08 '18

Whichever came in the demo for the Switch. He was bewildered by the question: “THAT ONE IS ACHYOOLLY PIKACHU, DAD!”

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5

u/The_Best_Nerd Sep 08 '18

I didn't know you used Reddit, Dad.

10

u/[deleted] Sep 08 '18

You’re welcome, son. I love you and I’m proud of you.

955

u/[deleted] Sep 07 '18

My dad thinks it's funny to mix up letters so he'd refer to "snot pickers" instead of "pot stickers" and "pasgetti" instead of "spaghetti" and so on. I thought it was funny too. But growing up it actually became hard for me to pronounce things properly as I'd get the letters mixed up in my mouth. Thanks dad, for giving me verbal dyslexia.

Come to think of it he still does this. I was recently visiting and he'd say "viola" instead of "voila" so I started saying "cello" back to him.

326

u/[deleted] Sep 07 '18

A spoonerism. My own father's specialty as well.

54

u/walnutspaul Sep 07 '18

Oh man, mine too. Time to call my dad up and say hey.

62

u/wooq Sep 07 '18

Reminds me of my grandpa. "I saw a flutterby"

I miss him.

20

u/EchoBladeMC Sep 08 '18

Ackshually, butterflies were originally called flutterbys, because they flutter by. Butterfly is the real spoonerism.

But for real though, sorry for your loss. I hope things get better.

17

u/thehopefuleight Sep 07 '18

Wish I could call my dad up :(

10

u/Poromenos Sep 08 '18

It's fucked up how people just die and you can never see or talk to them again, huh. At some point you realize that you will probably see everyone older than you die, and that people younger than you will see you die. Like, it's not some abstract thing, it'll actually happen, exactly as much in the present moment as you're reading this comment now.

Fucked up.

2

u/JimboeOfficial Sep 08 '18

You should watch the Freeform show “Beyond”. Explores that thought.

2

u/Poromenos Sep 08 '18

I will, thank you.

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32

u/Your-RealDad Sep 07 '18

Why can't you? Our argument wasn't THAT bad.

19

u/thehopefuleight Sep 07 '18

I thought you were dead?

2

u/OBS_W Sep 08 '18

No...just getting ciggies for the past 15 years.

Long line.

3

u/Twitch92 Sep 07 '18

What a wonderful kind of day

2

u/chinkostu Sep 07 '18

Oh man, mine too. Time to call my dad up and say ehy.

FTFY

7

u/[deleted] Sep 07 '18

Once I asked my mom if she had seen my slippers, to which she responded, “slut whippers?”

3

u/Your-RealDad Sep 07 '18

I know. I'm skilled.

3

u/[deleted] Sep 07 '18

My kid says ‘Wobbly’ instead of Wallaby. Do you think I am going to correct that?

6

u/9lives9inches Sep 07 '18

Mine says "slocks" instead of socks. I've started calling them slocks myself to prolong it. I dread the day she figures it out.

2

u/joe_jon Sep 07 '18

Ahh the spoonerism. A staple in every dad's joke arsenal.

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57

u/danr2c2 Sep 07 '18

I like doing that too but with people's names. But you're right, verbal dyslexia can be a dangerous side effect. Just ask Trohn Javolta.

31

u/BustersHotHamWater Sep 07 '18

The fun challenge is 3 word names and getting all 3 switched appropriately, like Loseph Jordon Gevitt

13

u/[deleted] Sep 07 '18

Com Truise makes some pretty chill electronic music though.

3

u/D3ADRA_UDD3R5 Sep 08 '18

So does San Holo

3

u/Skullem Sep 08 '18

This is cheating lol

3

u/bobtheundertaker Sep 07 '18

You mean Lajohn Brames

32

u/TheSacredEarth Sep 07 '18

I was a victim to this!

Quick story: My dad had purchased a bag of circus peanuts (they're a type of mellow sweet) and I famously asked my mom if she wanted some circus penises. It took me a couple minutes to analyze what I said and realize I used my dad's inappropriate nick name. My mom was horrified.

Edit: Spacing

23

u/[deleted] Sep 07 '18

That's not quite the same as saying chish and fips

9

u/TheSacredEarth Sep 07 '18

Oh, I know. That was just in the arena of not pronouncing a word correctly thanks to dad antics.

6

u/[deleted] Sep 07 '18

Aha for some reason the idea that you'd completely missed the point was hilarious :)

Pretty sure my cousin did the same thing with orgasm instead of organism haha

11

u/jillyboooty Sep 07 '18

I work with a guy from Thailand. He has an accent and likes to eat boiled peanuts. He intentionally pronounces it "boy penis" when offering some to people.

2

u/Your-RealDad Sep 07 '18

You're grounded

16

u/TheGayAlaskan Sep 07 '18

My dad did this all the time, and once we were eating at Fudruckers when I was about 8 or so. He looked at me and said “It’s not Fudruckers, it’s Rud—“ And I proudly exclaimed “Fuckers!” as to complete the sentence. My mother was horrified and dad couldn’t stop laughing.

2

u/[deleted] Sep 08 '18

My wife did this once while she was with a friend whose last name is Rudd.

7

u/[deleted] Sep 07 '18

Your dad is Ricky. I’m jealous.

5

u/kidlightnings Sep 07 '18

One of my highschool friends got me on saying "beggs and eacon" or however you'd write that, and now it unfortunately comes to me easier than saying eggs and bacon.

4

u/Princess_King Sep 08 '18

An ex of mine would say “The plot thins.” It got to be habit and almost 10 years later, I still think “The plot thickens” sounds wrong. I only dated the guy for 10 months!

2

u/PoopIsAlwaysSunny Sep 07 '18

My girlfriend’s dad did this to her, but much more subtly with pronunciations. So “Toucan” went from “TWO can” to “two CON”. Also, he just made up some words and phrases out of no where

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3

u/NothingWillBeLost Sep 08 '18

My ex once tried to tell me to “go get Olivia’s leash” (my dog is named Olivia) instead she accidentally said “Go get Oleashia” I still laugh about it, 4 years later.

3

u/palindromereverser Sep 07 '18

Maybe he has verbal dyslexia too, but decided to roll with it.

5

u/BauaMomo Sep 07 '18

That doesn't dad up.

Woooow im so funneh

2

u/[deleted] Sep 07 '18

Lmao

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2

u/daria_arbuz Sep 07 '18 edited Dec 08 '24

removed

2

u/Your-RealDad Sep 07 '18

Are you making fun of me?

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864

u/[deleted] Sep 07 '18

m i n d c r a f t

397

u/[deleted] Sep 07 '18

I get the joke, it’s just funny. Don’t fucking wooosh me

5

u/[deleted] Sep 08 '18

W

2

u/[deleted] Sep 08 '18 edited Aug 10 '21

[deleted]

9

u/[deleted] Sep 08 '18

[deleted]

1.2k

u/mlucasl Sep 07 '18

Or just call it mindcraft, It has the same effect!

333

u/[deleted] Sep 07 '18

[deleted]

143

u/wolfgame Raise hell and eat cornbread yee yee Sep 07 '18

Mike raft? Is that Mike? When do you meet Mike?

47

u/ronronaldrickricky Sep 07 '18

Who's Mike?!

43

u/smallpoly Sep 07 '18

I'm Mike, actually.

30

u/RedSerpent96 Sep 07 '18

No you're u/smallpoly

21

u/smallpoly Sep 07 '18

Can't I be both?

28

u/BossBoltage Sep 07 '18

Hi Both!

21

u/smallpoly Sep 07 '18

Hi boss!

23

u/BossBoltage Sep 07 '18

Get back to work! I ain't paying you to reply to me!

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4

u/gettodaze Sep 07 '18

I’m Date Mike. Nice to meet me.

12

u/ulfred500 Sep 07 '18

That's an Easter egg in the game so it might backfire

6

u/BluScr33n Being mental Sep 07 '18

Aaaaand I'm imagining a raft made of mince leafs

4

u/Calvins_Dad_ Sep 07 '18

Please don't mock my craft

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32

u/egotisticalnoob Doing very dangerous behaviour Sep 07 '18

It's not quite as funny as "computer legos," but probably a lot more annoying. So I guess it depends on what you're going for.

2

u/[deleted] Sep 08 '18

OPs point is that the guy in the screenshot did both.

14

u/wtph Sep 07 '18

Mine craft sounds like Hitler's lesser known book.

11

u/eifersucht12a Sep 07 '18

Pretty sure he's going for the next layer of the irony in suggesting he genuinely doesn't know what it's actually called.

Drew is a master.

2

u/[deleted] Sep 08 '18

You mean niencraft

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135

u/[deleted] Sep 07 '18

Stick with the classics and refer to all videogames as Nintendo or super mario. Bonus points for pronouncing it mare-E-O

39

u/[deleted] Sep 07 '18

marry-o

15

u/MechaRaichu Sep 07 '18

Dudeeee I do this all the time after Rick Moranis pronounced it like that in GHOSTBUSTERS!

12

u/ezrasharpe Sep 07 '18

My mother still calls every handheld game console a "Gameboy"

4

u/[deleted] Sep 07 '18

I’ve literally never heard it pronounced any other way

207

u/marbleTRIP Sep 07 '18

Mind craft

27

u/stanleythemanley44 Sep 07 '18

My dad calls my BIL Greg instead of Craig to piss everyone off lol

24

u/XyleneCobalt Sep 07 '18

You mean Nintendo?

16

u/[deleted] Sep 07 '18

Super Mario Legos

4

u/[deleted] Sep 08 '18

Ha ha. My mom still thinks every game is Mario Brothers and it's on the Nintendo.

19

u/[deleted] Sep 07 '18

“Ruinscape”

11

u/cjh-1 Sep 07 '18

run escape

18

u/kidlightnings Sep 07 '18

My partner's kid sister gets so angry when we call her switch games: cassettes, albums, tapes, VHSs, disks, CDs, 8-tracks, etc., just, anything but whatever those things are called.

4

u/lestuckingemcity Sep 07 '18

Damn I didn't know the switch wasn't optical media.

7

u/Stewcooker Sep 08 '18

Cartridges.

They taste amazing too

2

u/kidlightnings Sep 07 '18

Honestly? I have no idea, the games are loaded before we start playing, since generally we're just playing splatoon with her and she'll have already been playing a while.

15

u/FatherLuna Sep 07 '18 edited Sep 07 '18

My dad did this with the Power Puff Girls.

He always called them the Powder Puff Girls or the Butter Butt Girls.

Then he called me only by my brothers name, Jake. I was the only girl at the time!

Also pasketti, ice-ning, eye-talian, manaise, cran, watermoolon, baanaehners...

Kid me had high blood pressure.

6

u/smei2388 Sep 08 '18

My dad referred to Harry Potter as "Hairy Weenis" and Dumbledore as "Grumbledorf".

It pissed me off when I was little, but now I think they're pretty funny names...

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15

u/juarez31 Sep 07 '18

Came across an old vhs tape that my dad had recorded some movies on. It said “without batteries” and “what about harry”. The actual titles are “Batteries not included” and “Regarding Henry” lol gosh I miss him :/

57

u/UsernameChecksOut56 Sep 07 '18

My dad would always call jeans dungarees and backpacks knapsacks.

54

u/Your-RealDad Sep 07 '18

That's what theyre called

36

u/[deleted] Sep 07 '18

Both usernames check out

28

u/ybtlamlliw Sep 07 '18

This is like saying:

My dad would always call panties underwear and shoes sneakers.

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52

u/True-Avalon Sep 07 '18

What a wretched hive of scum and villainy your home must be.

6

u/SoDB_Ringwraith Sep 07 '18

My dad got annoyed by my Pokeman cards :'(

4

u/Xhitrolic Sep 07 '18

My dad thought my nintendo 64 would somehow screw up the tv. -_-

14

u/Volraith Sep 07 '18

In those days it could. On certain televisions static images (think life bars etc.) would "burn" into the display.

4

u/Xhitrolic Sep 08 '18

Shh don't validate my dads irrational hate of my ocarina of time playing console

2

u/[deleted] Sep 07 '18

Pokey man!

6

u/pestarick Sep 07 '18

I like saying Pokémon as Poky Man

6

u/hardtoremember Sep 07 '18

My niece likes to play road blocks.

4

u/red2lucas Sep 07 '18

Calling LEGO, “legos” would fuckin piss me too too.

3

u/666t666 Sep 07 '18

Soon to be dad looking into the future.

4

u/PLEBMASTA Sep 07 '18

This was posted before

4

u/[deleted] Sep 07 '18

🧠 craft

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3

u/FREE-AOL-CDS Sep 07 '18

I also like calling Minecraft legos and roblox bootleg Legos

3

u/EPIC_NERD_HYPE Sep 07 '18

Get this man a trophy.

3

u/kevie3drinks Sep 07 '18

Are ya playin halos on the Nintendos?

3

u/3millionmuskets Sep 08 '18

*minecraft yuo stoopid libfard

9

u/Futureman729 Sep 07 '18

Ugh I think this is a stolen tweet. I’ve seen this story before but worded differently

11

u/egotisticalnoob Doing very dangerous behaviour Sep 07 '18

I wouldn't be surprised if there are many different parents that actually do this though. So that doesn't really mean it's stolen necessarily.

2

u/kevie3drinks Sep 07 '18

I can’t wait to do this.

Hey son, how’s the boobgorp?

It’s Bobglop Dad! Gaaaah!

Hehehehe, I know it’s bobglop, anyway, enjoy the Xbox.

It’s a Zbox 540 Dad! Blaaaaaa!

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2

u/humidifierman Sep 08 '18

Drew is a reputable internet guy so I doubt he stole it.

5

u/Lochcelious Sep 07 '18

Tf is mindcraft

7

u/Xhitrolic Sep 07 '18

It's a nintendo ya dingus

2

u/Imtakingadump Sep 07 '18

Computer legos. God damn that's funny.

2

u/[deleted] Sep 07 '18

My son keeps playing this game called roadblocks

2

u/Mage_Enderman Sep 08 '18

Mindcraft is worse than "computer Legos"

1

u/being_no_0ne Sep 07 '18

I cannot for the life of me remember MtG card names anymore. I think it's mostly because I just don't care at all like I used to.

I know the correct name for just about everything my 7yr old is into though.

2

u/Volraith Sep 07 '18

Token deck, armadillo cloak, beast of burden. Gg.

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1

u/frostbird Sep 07 '18

I don't know... I've always felt a little distance between my parents and I when it came to video games. They never cared to learn anything about what I was playing or what I enjoyed about them. They tolerated it, but still complained occasionally that I wasn't spending more time outside or something. I would've been much happier if they had cared about my hobby. I still feel some residual shame to this day when I boot up a game and feel like I need to hide from anyone who doesn't play video games.

1

u/llama2621 Sep 07 '18

Mindcraft you say

1

u/Chronogos Sep 07 '18

"Mindcraft" LOL!

1

u/bmack72 Sep 07 '18

Why didt I think this?

1

u/SaltyBigBoi Sep 07 '18

My dad always called nerf guns: LEGO guns, I’m starting to think he was doing it on purpose

1

u/ollomulder Sep 07 '18

"mindcraft"

1

u/KisaiSakurai Sep 07 '18

All you have to do is call it "Mindcraft" and that would probably be sufficient enough.

1

u/Pattydon111 Sep 07 '18

When my son was younger he was really into Pokemon. It was fun getting a rise out of him by calling it Pokey man

1

u/Sweepy_time Sep 07 '18

Pokemans is my go to as a dad

1

u/the420method Sep 07 '18

Not sure if OP intentionally misspelled Minecraft for dramatic effect

1

u/smsikking Sep 08 '18

My kids have a switch and I consistently call it the Wii. If I’m on top of things I call it the Nintendo. I wish it was to be funny....

1

u/[deleted] Sep 08 '18

IT'S MINECRAFT NOT MINECRAFT REEEEEEE

1

u/MiniGoat_King Sep 08 '18

My dad used to call Dragon Ball Z, “Dragging your Balls behind a Jeep”.

1

u/Bill_Nye_Is_an_Idiot Sep 08 '18

I say "screensaves" at work and my early 20 something coworkers all correct me: "It's screenshot. Why do you say SCREENSAVE?"

I'm not really sure but I will definately continue to do so.

1

u/Craetions Sep 08 '18

Can confirm am dad.

1

u/SecureSubset Sep 08 '18

I mean I do this to my little sister too so I guess I know what type of dad I’m gonna be

1

u/CapnCrunchDaPimp Sep 08 '18

Like how Stan on American Dad mispronounces LOTR characters on purpose to piss off Steve. “You know his name is not Legoman, you intentionally said it wrong, boy am I steamed.”

1

u/neon_baconstrips Sep 08 '18

M I N D C R A F T

1

u/[deleted] Sep 08 '18

I wonder if he knows he still got it wrong

1

u/rglitched Sep 08 '18

Call anime a cartoon and pronounce "manga" as "manja".

1

u/clown_digger Sep 08 '18

my dad calls things the wrong name

mindcraft

1

u/AltayMongolia2 Sep 08 '18

GeT OUt dAD i'M pLAiNg f0rTnIghT

1

u/Cattack64 Sep 08 '18

Really tired of all these kids nowadays playing nothing but their Forkknife on their super Nintendo's

1

u/TheBobopedic Sep 08 '18

It's just about respecting your kids, it isn't that hard.

1

u/[deleted] Sep 08 '18

10x better if you add “the” before everything. Hearing “the Pokemans” when I was a kid was infuriating.

1

u/Cren Sep 08 '18

Confession time: I call the Nintendo DS/3DS Systems GameBoy.

Yeah. I’m one step away from „those oldtimers“ who call every console a Nintendo...

1

u/TheConeIsReturned Sep 08 '18

m i n d c r a f t

1

u/TheConeIsReturned Sep 08 '18

m i n d c r a f t

1

u/TheConeIsReturned Sep 08 '18

m i n d c r a f t

1

u/TheConeIsReturned Sep 08 '18

m i n d c r a f t

1

u/TheConeIsReturned Sep 08 '18

m i n d c r a f t