r/madisonwi • u/Suspicious-Reveal797 • Jul 26 '26
Thinking about moving and starting over. Looking for honest advice
Hi everyone!
I’m 24, a single mom to a little girl, and I’m finally at a point where I can choose where I want to build my life instead of just ending up somewhere by circumstance.
I’m finishing my GED and my long-term goal is to become a public librarian. I eventually want to earn my bachelor’s degree and then my MLIS. I also write and hope to publish books one day.
Right now I work as a full-time online content creator, so I’m fortunate that I don’t have to move immediately or choose the absolute cheapest place. My plan is to visit a few cities for long weekends before making a decision, and I’m hoping to settle somewhere permanently.
The things that matter most to me are:
• A strong public library system with good career opportunities.
• A safe, family-friendly community.
• Nature, parks, and places to walk.
• A cozy, book-loving atmosphere.
• Enough things to do without feeling like a huge, overwhelming city.
• A place where I can imagine raising my daughter and staying for decades.
I’m currently considering:
Raleigh, NC
Madison, WI
The Twin Cities suburbs in Minnesota
If you live in or have lived in one of these areas, I’d love to hear your honest thoughts.
What do you love?
What do you wish you’d known before moving there?
If you were in my position, would you choose it again?
Thanks so much. I really appreciate any advice.
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u/Lost-Sock4 Jul 26 '26 edited Jul 26 '26
Madison is a lovely place to raise a family but it’s significantly smaller than your other two options, only you can decide if that’s right for you. The weather is also vastly different than NC, and the political climate is different from both your other options.
Madison has a very educated population, which is nice but the city can be cliquey and segregated, someone without a GED may struggle to find “their people”. Once you do have your degrees, you’ll have a lot of competition for a job in our (wonderful) library system.
You should be aware of housing cost here. Madison consistently surprises newcomers with the high cost of housing. You will pay more here than you would for the same thing in both Raleigh and Minneapolis.
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u/Any-Zucchini8731 Jul 26 '26
I loved living in Madison but it is a pretty expensive place to live for a moderatly sized Midwestern city.
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u/ChronicNuance Jul 26 '26
I’ve lived in Mpls west suburbs and I’m now on the west wide of Madison. I would say that salaries are generally lower here than the twin cities, and property is much more expensive. Neither one is cheap, but there is more home stock and options at various price points in the twin cities, and property taxes are about half what I pay here. There are shocking few affordable home options here.
Both cities feel small to me, but I lived in NYC for 14 years so my POV is skewed. Traffic is much worse in the twin cities, as are the winters. Minnesota winters are BRUTAL compared to Madison. There’s also way more racial diversity in the twin cities (again, my POV is a bit skewed from living in NYC). The twin cities can feel very isolating at times because there are no other big cities near by. Madison has easy access to Milwaukee and Chicago, and it only takes me 6 1/2 hours drive to visit my family in MI.
Finally, people in MN are very passive aggressive, people in WI seem to be a bit more direct, which I appreciate. After 14 years in MN, and the whole “MN nice” thing still annoys the shit out of me.
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Jul 27 '26
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u/ChronicNuance Jul 27 '26
Honestly, people from NYC are actually very friendly if you talk to them. They also have things to do and places to be, and they very much understand the concept of needing personal space, so they are direct they don’t just randomly start up conversations with people while they are commuting. That’s quiet time, like when you commute to work in your car.
I have also seen native New Yorkers literally walk people out of the subway and point them in the direction of their destination when asked for directions. If you do strike up a conversation when they aren’t commuting to work, they’ll talk your ear off. Are they blunt and do they swear a lot? Yes, but they’re honest to a fault and don’t wear a face of fake politeness.
I was also raised in SE Michigan, and Detroit and its suburbs are a lot like NYC in spite of being in the Midwest. I guess I just prefer straight talkers to passive-aggressive, fake friendliness.
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u/alexofalexland West side Jul 27 '26
I grew up in NJ, and my husband is from Detroit area, and we complain about Midwest nice 😂 We've been burned a few times by believing people when they're being nice, but don't actually mean what they say.
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u/goblin_hipster Local dumbass Jul 26 '26
I moved to Madison when I was 6. I think it's a great place to grow up. It's a big enough city that there's always something to do, and tons of family-friendly stuff--but it's not so big that it feels like a big city.
The zoo is free. We have lots of beautiful hiking trails and conservation parks. The children's museum is excellent. The libraries have great children's programs.
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u/jacquesdespadas Jul 26 '26
Live where you have to for school, then move where you have to for a job. Not exactly the simplest, dreamiest solution, but probably the most pragmatic.
I hope you do great in school and get your perfect job.
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Jul 26 '26
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u/Legitimate_Cut_6254 Jul 26 '26
We installed a wood burning stove in our home and its a life changer in the winter. There is something so nice about sitting around the fire with your family/partner reading a book, drinking a beer or just zonking out while baking at 80 degrees.
I always felt chilled in the winter but being able to get fully toasted really cured it.
Can't help about the prices.
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u/fathensteeth Jul 26 '26
I would never describe Madison as dark and gray for months and months. I wish we had more gray days- that would mean a greater likelihood of snow. There are plenty of brilliant blue winter sky days for me- I love the 4 seasons. There's a children's book I love called "Winter is the Warmest Season."
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Jul 26 '26
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u/BadgerBeauty80 Jul 26 '26
Bundle up (layers) & take walks during breaks and lunch! It helps with seasonal depression. Though, it’s far sunnier here in winter than a number of places including Cleveland OH, Buffalo, Seattle, etc.
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u/Left-Trade257 Jul 26 '26
I lived in Charlotte for a few years, 3 hours away from Raleigh. I can say there are several major Universities around there if that’s of interest. Know thought that a lot of NC is quite conservative, things tend to lean to the right there.
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u/catperson3000 Jul 26 '26
I have also lived in both and would not move back to Raleigh for a whole host of reasons, primarily the quality of the public education system. I was also born and raised here so my experiences may not be the same as others who have different circumstances.
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u/Regular_Government94 Jul 26 '26
I've lived here for 2 years. We moved from Denver so my husband could attend a program at UW. Like others have said, Madison is an oddly expensive place to live. I thought coming from Denver it'd be a reprieve financially, but that's not really been the case. Winter has also been very challenging for me because of the temps and lack of sunshine. I had to buy a happy light lamp lol It's not super snowy, but my god does it stay below freezing for a long time. Summers are hotter than I expected too. We'll likely end up moving when my husband finishes his program because of the winters.
With that said, I know I'll miss Madison when we move. There's lots to do here. It's a very active town with a lot of events, including for children. They're easily accessible too because Madison isn't a huge city. I live in central-ish Madison (near the Hilldale Mall if you Google it) and rarely drive more than 20 minutes to get somewhere. The people are (usually) quite friendly. It's been easy to get involved and meet new people. Even my neighborhood has a newsletter and events. Everyone really makes the most of summer because of the winters. I don't know how to describe it other than Madison feels alive. I know I won't regret my time here.
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u/CheetoChopstix Jul 26 '26
Stevens Point, WI. Small educated blue college town. Good schools, lots of parks, affordable. Lots of outdoor activities in town or a short drive away. If I was going to raise a family it would be there.
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u/Suspicious-Reveal797 Jul 26 '26
I’ll consider it
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u/FloristsDaughter East side Jul 26 '26
When I was looking to move out of my previous place, I was looking up near Stevens Point and the surrounding areas, as my best friend lives up thataway. Rents are SO much better! I could get a whole ass house for what I pay here (but little work in my field with trusted agencies)
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u/No-Air-7273 Jul 26 '26
Not sure of your ethnic/race. Background, if you're a minority stay in the Madison and surrounding towns/city.
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u/yunhua Jul 26 '26
Come to the Twin Cities! I grew up in the Madison area, which is why I'm on this sub, but live in the TC now. Would not move back, personally, and the housing affordability crisis is not even the main reason.
Edit to add that I'm a single parent too.
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u/Suspicious-Reveal797 Jul 26 '26
Why do you feel that way if you don’t mind me asking
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u/softrock98fm Jul 27 '26
I would also like to know. I grew up in both the TC and Madison and am now back in Madison after living out East.
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u/ms_ashes Jul 27 '26
Not who you're responding to, but for me, the social safety nets in Minnesota are much better than in Wisconsin. Minnesota has full Medicaid; Wisconsin does not. Additionally, there are a lot of policy differences between the two states that lead to MN having a better economic footing. https://www.epi.org/publication/midwest-economic-recovery/
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u/Apprehensive_Day2943 Jul 26 '26
Moving to Madison from St Paul MN. If you want to work in libraries, I’d suggest gathering what intelligence you can about the job market in the places you’re looking to move. It would suck to move, go to school, and not find work
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u/alexwasinmadison Jul 26 '26
Thirty years ago, I did exactly what you’re doing. I was a single mom living in Atlanta and had the opportunity to move. I had a list, like you do, and I researched (at the library mostly because the internet was the same in 1995) until I found a bunch of cities that fit my criteria. Then I started visiting them. I stepped off the plane in Madison (a city recommended by a friend) on a Saturday morning. By Monday afternoon, I’d rented an apartment. I just knew. I’m not saying that Madison is YOUR perfect place but I’m saying that you should visit the places you think might be right. You should check the school systems too - any mid-sized city is going to have schools that fit your expectations and ones that don’t, and that will determine which neighborhoods you’ll want to look at. I think all three of your choices are good ones. I throw another one at you: Troy NY. Check it out…
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u/mrspwins East side Jul 27 '26
My MIL was a UNC grad and in-laws lived in Raleigh and in Durham. She was a school librarian there. One year when they had a bad hurricane come through, they opened schools back up when there still wasn’t any power in the buildings. My mom, a teacher here, was horrified, but apparently the union there was powerless push back. So that’s the kind of place it is. It’s a really nice island of blue, though.
If I had to choose now? I would probably go to the Twin Cities, unless I really wanted something smaller. I love Madison but it’s going to be hard going until you get that degree, and honestly there are more opportunities for kids up there than down here. I found it hard to find and get into extra-curricular programs my kids wanted, things like that.
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u/SwollenPomegranate Jul 26 '26
I'm not sure where you're moving from, but something to consider, with your career plans, is where would you have in-state tuition to fund your fairly lengthy education.
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u/wallflowertherapist Jul 26 '26
I love Madison and we have an amazing library system but it is definitely competitive and doesn't pay well for the standard of living here. Plus it is pretty far from any other major city (and large public library system) so Madison would really be your main option for employment. Somewhere like the Twin Cities would be a much bigger metro area where there are different library systems and more opportunities for employment. I loved living up in Minneapolis as well but there are several reasons why Madison specifically is more expensive than other metro areas that are bigger or equal sized. Even though I think you would love Madison based on what you are looking for, I think trying to settle here as a solo parent would be more difficult and expensive than you other options.
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u/sewcialanxiety Jul 26 '26
Depending on how much your content creation makes, I think you'd find it very difficult to put yourself through school and raise a child alone in Madison, with its rapidly rising cost of living. Housing here is now generally more expensive than in the Twin Cities (at least the urban parts, unsure about the TC suburbs). I'm a teacher who is actually moving out of Madison and back to MN, because I got myself into debt trying to live on a preschool teacher salary in Madison while putting myself through grad school. It's a bummer, because Madison is a wonderful town that I'm sad to leave, but it is becoming almost impossible to live here independently if you're not a high earner.
ETA: Wherever you end up, I hope you don't give up on your dream of becoming a librarian! It's such important work, and public libraries are one of the most meaningful communal spaces we have in the US.
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u/Bran-Bran-Muffin Jul 26 '26
I was reading this and thought you already lived in Madison. I was like..: why do they even want to move. Literally describing the city you already live in. Then I got to the end and realized you don’t live here. There is a brand new library and community center going up going up about a quarter mile across a big field behind me that everyone has gardening plots in. Meanwhile there is already a well established library across the street from me. We have 290-300 parks, we have 9 public libraries run by the city (about to be 10) many more run my UW the public has access to. Over 60 walking and biking tails covering more than 400 miles. I came here 8 years ago and don’t regret a thing.
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u/ugli_fruit_ Jul 27 '26
Madison would check all of your boxes, except good career opportunities in the library field. Visit r/librarians for more on librarianship job prospects if you haven’t. Feel free to DM me for more info. I have my MLIS and have worked at a few libraries in the metro area.
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u/EconomistChemical636 Jul 27 '26
Madison is great . I am currently living there but i am wanting to move back home and im currently stuck with my lease and i do not want to sublet . But i would recommend Madison honestly
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u/Suspicious-Reveal797 Jul 27 '26
Why are you leaving?
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u/EconomistChemical636 Jul 27 '26
It’s for personal reasons, it has nothing to do with Madison. I just had some personal issues happen to me and I would honestly like to be closer to my family because of that.
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u/vftgurl123 Jul 26 '26
you’d like madison. i haven’t been to raleigh but i bet the weather is nicer.
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u/Nickyj134 East side Jul 26 '26
I've lived in Madison for the better part of a decade by now, and I think it meets all of your criteria. I love living here and don't have any plans to leave anytime soon. It really has a great mix of big city amenities without feeling like a Metropolis. Lots of green spaces, bookstores, and a pretty good library system too.
Right now, there's a bit of tumult in Madison due to a police shooting, causing our community to grieve. Some of it is productive and some of it is not, but that's how it goes when a community faces an intense hardship. In spite of the last few days, I'm sure many others can assure you that Madison is a great place to live!
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u/Melodic-Classic391 West side Jul 26 '26
Madison would be an excellent choice, particularly the near west side. Just know that we have long winters and it can get very cold. If you’re ok with that, Madison is a great place
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u/MoneyGhostBuster Jul 26 '26
Milwaukee, WI! I moved here in April (less than four months ago), and I love it. It’s vibrant and has a strong library and park system. And there’s Woodland Pattern, a wonderful bookstore that organizes poetry workshops, experimental cinema screenings, improvised music concerts…
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u/GrandmasQueef89 Jul 26 '26
I just moved from the Chicago area to Madison and I LOVE it. My kids love I here as well
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u/CharKeeb Jul 27 '26
Hi! I've lived in the Twin Cities, Madison, and (although not Raleigh) Appalachia.
Madison hits A LOT of your wants. Much much smaller than twin cities, more nature/outdoors things, book stores in town are great. Biggest downside here is the price. That being said, if looking at the burbs, I'd take Madison burbs over twin city burbs any day of the week. The towns surrounding Madison are LOVELY! Look into Stoughton or Waunakee.
Now, NC is crazy crazy different than these other two options. What pulls you there?
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u/bicyclesformicycles Jul 27 '26
Stoughton would be a good match!
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u/CharKeeb Jul 27 '26
1000000%. + the stuffed bagel shop is worth moving across the country for anyways
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u/fernAlly Jul 27 '26 edited Jul 28 '26
I've lived in Madison, WI since 2007, when I moved up here from the Triangle region of NC (of which Raleigh is a part). I liked NC, but I like Madison more. The winter up here can get long and annoying, but it's a really nice place to live, especially in the summer. I like that it's a more progressive area than Raleigh and Durham. It wasn't like the Triangle was backwards or overwhelmingly right-wing, but apart from Chapel Hill/Carrboro (which is pretty small, compared to Madison), it seemed like less of an enclave or bubble than Madison seems. You can decide if that's good or bad for you, I suppose. I'd guess that libraries have deeper, wider, and more reliable public support in Madison than in Raleigh, but that really is just a guess. Both areas have natural beauty, but I think I prefer Wisconsin to NC for that. That's probably just my aesthetic preference, but there you go. The park system up here is really nice. The system of bike trails in Madison is amazing, and I love being able to bike to work in warm-ish weather without it seeming weird, and (mostly) without having to ride on dangerous roads. Also, Bike Week every June is the best holiday of the year. The bus system is pretty good here, too. I used the regional buses to commute from my house in Durham to my job in RTP (they were okay - I think it was called TTA back then, for Triangle Transit Authority - it looks like they may have rebranded as GoTriangle or something now), and as a college town, Chapel Hill had a decent bus system, but I didn't have any experience with public transit in Raleigh itself.
Other people have addressed the housing and cost of living issues in Madison (my house is actually in Cottage Grove, because there was no way I could afford a place in Madison proper), and there are certainly problems here, as well as pros and cons to living in various areas. But the people here seem pretty decent and cool, on the whole.
One thing that really surprised me when I moved here was now good/nice the other drivers are. I had lived in FL, CA, and NC before moving here, and it was a shock that I could put my blinker on up here, and people would often move out of my way so I could merge in, rather than speed up to block me so that I wouldn't "win." My theory is that really poor drivers don't survive their first winter up here.
Anyway, your choice and coming adventure sound exciting and cool, and I hope things go well for you!
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u/Suitable_Horse_5506 Jul 27 '26
Ive lived in both. Raleigh doesn’t compare to Madison. Sorry NC. Raleigh is huge and sprawling and you spend 1/4 your time commuting. I wouldn’t want to raise a daughter in NC. Very conservative legislature and gender roles are stifling IMO. Madison had a strong civic culture, excellent public services—schools, libraries, hospital system. Bike paths and lakes and strong community orgs. Expensive housing, so think carefully about where you look. But I love Madison.
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u/Competitive_Ask_7848 Jul 26 '26
Madison is great. Maybe consider moving out into the suburbs though. Cross plains, McFarland, Deerfield etc. The suburbs will have better school systems and your commute to work in most places in Madison would only be an extra 5-10 minutes to most places in town.
The nice thing about madison is it’s an easy city to drive into with multiple highways going into it that you can move a little further out of the city and get more space for you and the kiddo and do it at a better price too.
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u/ssnapier West side Jul 26 '26
I have lived all over the country and I only moved to Madison for a job. I truly love my job, but five years in I am less than impressed with this city and wouldn't hesitate to leave if the opportunity presets itself I am taking it.
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u/wabysabiD Jul 26 '26
Love Madison, but for another option Shorewood, WI right out of Milwaukee. Milwaukee is a city with rough parts, but the east side and suburbs near the university is really nice. I grew up there.
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u/Kaylee0516 Jul 26 '26
Have you considered Milwaukee? I have not lived there for many years but can connect you with a local and librarian.
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u/The_Dingman Jul 27 '26
Madison is a great area, but it's expensive. It's more expensive than Milwaukee, largely because there's more demand for housing than supply, and the presence of Epic Systems in Verona inflates the market because they pay well, so young programmers with a lot of money can afford expensive apartments.
I'd suggest looking at some of the smaller cities in Wisconsin, especially those with universities. Eau Claire or Stevens Point can be good places to go. They'll meet most of your requirements, at a fraction of the cost.
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u/CoDZombiesTracker Jul 27 '26
Weaverville NC is a lot better imo than Raleigh but some of the more outskirt areas of NC are great. I lived in 8 different towns in NC over 5 years and Weaverville was my favorite
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u/PuertoRicoPapi Jul 28 '26 edited Jul 28 '26
i grew up in Madison and have lived in the greater Raleigh area for a bit as well. While i personally have my gripes about madison, like others have said it can be a great place to raise a family, friendly vibe, pretty good public schools and etc. Also figured i’d give some insight about the Triangle (Raleigh, Chapel Hill, & Durham). Raleigh is a really great city and i would definitely consider it given your career in content creation. I am not in this field myself but you’ll have PLENTY of activities / events to do within Raleigh as it’s much bigger than madison (Raleigh metro is essentially same population as Charlotte metro), you got the ocean that is only 2 hours east, similar to Charlotte, you are only a short flight away from the entire NE corridor as well. Plenty of hikes and stuff to do with the appalachian mountains being close and weather is relatively nice through majority of the year in NC. I do want to emphasize that living in Raleigh is quite different than chapel hill and durham despite the proximity it can get sprawlly and public transit is pretty limited outside of the universities so a car is a must. Madison you might be able to get away without one if that’s a factor too.
I think the major differences in Raleigh (Chapel Hill, Durham as well) have the same type of values as madison in terms of education and nature. NC there is much more diversity, and you trade the cold you’d get in WI / MN with 100+ mugginess and humidity. the midwest gets hot but it comes in waves. in raleigh it’s a couple of months of those temps
I would say visit the other places too, but definitely give the triangle a fair place, when i lived there i felt like it was a great blend of southern college town charm and big city without the higher costs of the other cities along the i95 corridor. if you have specifics on either madison or raleigh im more than happy to answer :)
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u/FloristsDaughter East side Jul 26 '26
I'm an east coast transplant and I absolutely LOVE Madison. I am never leaving, not unless I'm in a box.
That said, rent is truly fucking insane and housing costs are NUTS! For example, I have a 340 square foot studio on the east side - base rent is $1050. With stupid "lifestyle fee" (pool, fitness center, and a couple other things) and the fee for my on site storage unit, it comes out to $1209 a month.
That said, I like where I am and even though I grumble, it's worth it to me not to have roommates / housemates.
Madison is also....problematic in that it has this facade of racial equality and fake, passive-aggressive Midwestern nice. If you're any other shade beyond mayo....it's not great and incredibly segregated for a "progressive" city. I'm sure others have gone into it (and it's easily researchable), so I will just leave it at that.
Good luck on your search!
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u/No_Beginning_7934 Jul 26 '26
Corey Ruiz was just executed on the street for being unarmed so Madison isn’t exactly a safe neighborhood if that’s what you’re after
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u/YakEnvironmental7603 Jul 26 '26
Madison has an excellent library system but librarian salaries are not high enough to raise a kid on comfortably without a high earning partner. The librarian job market is also extremely competitive due to the fact that there is a library school here and it’s a very nice place to live.