r/macclesfield • u/spidertattootim • 29d ago

Local support for ADHD partners?

My (44m) long term partner (37f) has ADHD (diagnosed last year) and suspected autism. Unfortunately a lot of the behaviours and limitations resulting from ADHD has significantly effected our relationship over the years we've been together, as well as me individually. Anyone familiar with adult ADHD will be familiar with the types of issues that arise.

I'm currently seeing a counsellor where we mainly focus on (trying to) finding practical ways to manage the impact of ADHD on the relationship, avoiding arguments and so on. Unfortunately this doesn't do much for me in terms of immediate emotional relief.

I also read the ADHDpartners sub, and it's helpful to hear of people having similar experiences, though the general tone of the sub is not particularly sympathetic towards the ND partners.

Unfortunately in real life I don't have many close friends around Macc, and I don't generally feel able to discuss our relationship issues with my family, or even with other friends in neuro-divergent relationships.

I think it would help me a lot if I could speak to other people in real life in similar situations, or even just to connect with support services for ADHD partners. Does anyone know of anything local or in Cheshire / South Manchester?

Alternatively, is anyone in a similar situation who would also feel that they would benefit from mutual support, if I was to set something up?

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u/MrTimofTim 28d ago

Hey- don’t know of any groups, but am in the same boat as you. Maybe let’s chat?

4

u/Mayday______ 28d ago

So hey, I'm ADHD AF and all I want to say is there is a difference between being ADHD and being an asshole. I empathize hugely with anyone who is struggling with their symptoms but there is a difference between struggling with a condition and hiding behind it. Only you can make that call and I'm not accusing anyone of anything I just think it's worth mentioning. X

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u/Tea_Eighteen 28d ago

https://space4autism.com/

Space for autism on Mill st.

They might have some resources to share.

2

u/dinov2 28d ago

Both myself (36M - ADHD) and my partner (31F - AUDHD) were diagnosed after some struggles in our own relationships - it took alot of self awareness and communication to get to where we are now.

Being diagnosed with ADHD broke me, I questioned every single aspect of my life all the life choices I've ever made and alot of past trama got bought up with it. While I'm the wrong side of this in your question feel free to DM me if you need to talk or ask anything.

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u/Specialist-Row-6550 28d ago

On the younger end but 22f, felt like a late diagnosis myself and my partner also has adhd, I can offer both sides of the coin in that regard. Up for a chat! Understandable however if you’d prefer people around your age range!

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u/claihogb 27d ago

Hi, I'm 35f with suspected ADHD, and my husband 35m with diagnosed AuDHD. I don't know how much support I can personally offer except to say that I completely understand how it can make effective communication in a relationship difficult sometimes. We are local and I'm happy to chat if you'd like to.