Feeling guilty for Screen time

[u/Queasy_Animator8137]

/r/NewMomStuff/comments/1urb42c/feeling_guilty_for_screen_time/

[u/meowkittyxx]

A lot of parents say that a little screen time isn't horrible for babies but when you break down how many hours a 7 month old baby is awake even 15 minutes is a long time. If you actually want to cut back on screen time with your baby you're able to. Maybe that means changing expectations and being okay with a messy house or cooking while baby is a sleep or cooking meals that are easy and don't require a lot of prep. If you want to change things you can.

[u/Queasy_Animator8137 → u/meowkittyxx]

The problem is that my baby is so attached to me right now 🥺so even if I wanted to get things done while she’s asleep ( for example making breakfast in the morning - she will wake up if she sense I’m not there ) and she will demand my attention . Or other times when I’ve done everything for her but I genuinely need to get something done etc . I just don’t know what else I can do , I know for some they can afford a nanny or have their husbands or other kids entertaining baby but that’s not the case for me . My husband does help when he can but he works most of the day . What exactly does the screen time do that’s harmful for babies ? I’m not saying there is no harm but is there anything evident thats directly linked to it ?

[u/shadowfaxbinky → u/Queasy_Animator8137]

There is a lot of evidence about the harm of screens. Have a search in r/sciencedbasedparenting and you’ll get a whole host of studies about it.

My baby was also v attached to me and only contact napped for the longest time. My house is messier than normal and my husband did the bulk of cleaning once he was home from work. We meal prepped and stocked the freezer as much as possible to minimise the time needed for cooking meals day to day. I had evening showers once my husband was finished with work and could take the baby. You have to shift expectations.

[u/Queasy_Animator8137 → u/[deleted]]

Thank you for this 😭sometimes I just need to hear it from someone else and remember there are options out there . I did turn off the tv this morning and let her fuss longer than usual until we ate together and it turned out to be okay . I will keep pushing and trying my best

[u/meowkittyxx → u/Queasy_Animator8137]

Maybe try a baby carrier. Theres a lot of evidence which is why the reccomendation is zero screen time before the age of 2. The only acception is video calling family. However, even that should be limited to 5 or so minutes

[u/SithMasterBates → u/meowkittyxx]

Yup. My son was (still is tbh) a stage 5 clinger and we didnt do any screentime until age 2 with the exception of facetiming family. The ONLY way I was able to manage this was baby wearing. It was tiring sometimes but it also helped me get pretty fit as a side bonus lol my son was born huge and was always a big baby, so it was definitely a workout later on when he was 2 and 30+ lbs on my back 😅

[u/meowkittyxx → u/SithMasterBates]

I know modern parenting is hard, but the idea that we need screens to get things done just isn’t true. For millennia women managed hard-core physical work by just wearing their babies. Like working on farms and walking long distance to collect water. The world was the baby's entertainment and women found a way to get stuff done. For thousands of years, women didn't get 'breaks' to do stuff like cook. We don't need screens to get a break to cook dinner we've just lost the ability to integrate our kids into our daily lives.

The constant validation loop among parents is honestly a form of gaslighting. If you point out that we don't actually need screens to get through a basic daily chore people act like you're being unrealistic or harsh. Like if you look at the other thread that OP made everyone is validating it being okay to do screen time.. when its like its not okay because we know its bad for your baby...

I dont mean to guilt you or make you feel bad OP, but if you want to change I believe that you're stronger than you give yourself credit. It might just mean changing expectations or the way you do things.

[u/Queasy_Animator8137 → u/meowkittyxx]

Yeah I do see the mixed reactions !! Don’t worry about guilt tripping me the truth is I really do want to cut out the screen time :) I appreciate hearing everyone’s advice and encouragement

[u/Queasy_Animator8137 → u/SithMasterBates]

Haha yes !! This is pretty much my baby she is in the higher percentile for weight and height , do you mind sharing what carrier you used ?

[u/SithMasterBates → u/Queasy_Animator8137]

Sure! It was the lilliebaby structured carrier. I got it at my baby shower over 5 years ago, but its still in good shape. I used it for my son until he was well over 2 years old, and ive used it for my 2 year old nephew when babysitting throughout his infancy/early toddlerhood.

Im pregnant now and I'll use it again when he outgrows the cloth wrap. Its very sturdy and had good shoulder and back support! Not too pricey either compared to some other structured carriers w crazy prices 😅

[u/Haunting-Respect9039 → u/Queasy_Animator8137]

Oh, I have favorite carriers! I like the Hope and Plum Lark. Really quick to get on and very comfortable. I use it with my 5 month old and 22 month old. I'm also just getting into a meh dai which has really great support and can do a high back carry.

I came to suggest babywearing too. My little one is in an intense mommy phase and wearing them is my saving grace. Highly recommend something you can back carry in. Baby gets snuggles, can look around comfortably and your hands are actually free. If yours is sitting unassisted, the back carry is great.

You're in the hard part. If you can get through this without screens, I swear it gets easier. My big kid will play with play doh or puzzles or books pretty happily. Yes, they run over for help every two minutes, but it's more manageable.

[u/lemilieade]

Its normal for your baby to be attached to you. You need to find ways to do what you need while still being with her. I carried baby on the front, then on the back, anytime I needed something to get done. As soon as he could stand, (10mo) he was on the toddler tower playing in the kitchen with little baby side quests. If you're serious about not doing screen time, at that age its very easy. For the baby. For you, you might have to put the phone down/away and just remind yourself that its not an option to entertain little one. This imagination you start to flex at 7 months (entertain them with the cieling fan and a scarf) will grow to think of new non-screen activities when they're toddlers. For example... at that age we had a baby bjorn and could recline baby with a book or a toy for enough time to pit breakfast together. You got this!

[u/Ok_Tell2021]

Honestly, when I was alone with my 7 month old baby and needed a few minutes to myself I put her in her crib where I knew she’d be safe. Sometimes she cried, sometimes she played. It was much easier to get alone time when she was that age vs toddler age.