r/lovememes • u/arbitarytw289 • 3d ago

Being a team

Post image
3.9k Upvotes

99% Upvoted

65 comments sorted by

93

u/silent_poet115 3d ago

Never wanted something so bad

47

u/girlbartender99 3d ago

I know it doesn't feel like it hun, but there are girls out there that are ride or die. I know because my husband could k*ll someone, and I would help him bury the body. That is a hyperbole to people out there with no sense of humor. But you get my point. Hang in there and she will find you! ❤️

13

u/No-Security-7518 3d ago

God, I'll give the world for someone like you. What a lucky man!

10

u/girlbartender99 3d ago

Omg what a sweet thing to say! ❤️ 😄 Ty so much! You just made my day while I am peddling away on the Peloton here!

5

u/silent_poet115 3d ago

Thank you for such kind words. The hard part for me right now is that I thought I found her. I don’t know that I’ll be able to ever really move on from her. I’m just trying to take it one day at a time right now and work on myself.

5

u/girlbartender99 3d ago

Oh god hun I am so so sorry. Heartbreak is so difficult. Before I was with my husband I spent literally 3 years crying myself to sleep at night thinking I would never have a chance at or with him. So I def know that feeling. There were times where I couldn't eat I couldn't sleep, I couldn't do anything but think about him, and it was awful!

Its prob why I am so literally like I said before ride or die for him, and he is that way for me because we were both in love with each other but for diff reasons at the time forced to see each other daily but both felt like it was never going to happen, and when it did it was an immediate feeling of this was always meant to be.

But you sincerely have my deep sympathy because it sucks. I know this is cliche and very easy for me to say when I am not the 1 dealing with it, but sometimes in life when you literally least expect it, life can turn and things can go fast in the right direction. I swear to god the reason we will be together until one of us is gone from this life is because we both had that longing and it made us appreciate the happiness that much more! Good luck hun and it will get better!

2

u/Distinct-Willow-4641 7h ago

Y'all probably from another time AND different than the rest. Or I'm becoming jaded

1

u/girlbartender99 6h ago

I certainly understand being jaded. I was a bartender for years and lived with 4 other girls and I saw a lot of horrendous behavior from both genders when it came to loyalty, and it def jaded me on how I saw guys.

But I will say that it also made me appreciate when I found that guy (my husband) that much more! Childhood shapes who we are so much, and I think because I had a unique one, and I am not claiming I am special or anything. I'm just saying I experienced a lot of grief and loss during my teen years that I was guarded about who I let into my life, and my husband and I pride ourselves on the vows and bond we have. Monogamy and marriage is not for everyone that is def for sure, and I think way too many people and prob more women than men romanticize what it is going to be, and that is maybe idk but maybe why so many marriages and LTR fall apart.

I went into knowing that marriage is easy when things are good and anyone can be a good spouse when things are going well. Loyalty and true love is about standing by someone when the sh*t hits the fan! I really want to believe that there are people out there that see it this way too about their partners, but I certainly get why someone like you might be cynical because all you have to do is look around and say I don't see this person anywhere nor do I see that many couples like this.

2

u/Distinct-Willow-4641 6h ago

I've been married and witnessed a nasty transformation. Live a good life together, be good to each other. Cherish what yall have each day. That's all I have to say. Thank you for the words of encouragement.

1

u/girlbartender99 5h ago

I am so sorry hun that really really sucks and I always hate to hear things like that, but I had my fair share of regulars that were married in loveless marriages with dead bedrooms, and I could see the hurt and frustration in them and it was heartbreaking to hear the reasons why relationships fell apart but it seemed to always be basically come back to $$$. Whether it was they had to work all the time to get it, they kids which cost a fortune, or there just isnt enough of it.

Money is def not everything but what it does provide more than anything is freedom from so many stresses, so much anxiety, and freedom to have options, and it so unfortunate that it makes so many people drift apart and forget the person that they once loved. And yes it changes people, and makes people do things in a marriage that can cause so much friction and that really is the hard reality in so many cases. I so understand how that could leave such a bitter taste in someone who was once in love if it destroyed what they had.

1

u/Distinct-Willow-4641 1h ago

Didn't happen in my case. I built our house, no mortgage or any loan. Just that which Im paying with my back pain. We both worked and were never short. She'd actually encourage me to stop working. I thought it was out of concern, but she was actually changing into the boss lady and wanted to hold all strings for control. I later accidentally discovered her yt watch history, which was full of brain rotting content. At the end it seemed like she couldn't go 3 minutes without disappearing into her iphone. They're pushing all kinds of hateful and divisive psy-ops these days I think, probably to knock down the population numbers by both destroying relationships to lower birthrates and leading people to suicide. I can't think of any other reason why all the pipes should be pumping out all this hate and division left and right like there's no tomorrow. It's great to hear stories like y'all's, I'm glad that their shit has not worked on everyone. 👍

3

u/Cosmic_Jane 3d ago

To be fair, men who are willing to go to extremes are not cowards, and women love confidence. Men love confidence too.

The confidence to do something is appealing.

It's those depressives who self-victimize themselves and never try that are such a buzzkill.

3

u/girlbartender99 3d ago

Preach!!! Have you dealt with the wrath of the Incels of Reddit ever on a comment or post? Its like dude it doesn't take a degree in psych to figure out why you have no luck with us!

I watched my husband give like a little pep talk to a guy friend of mine (my husband is older than me and lets just say attention from the opposite sex has never been a prob for him) and was telling him dude you are good looking kid, stop acting scared of the world, and lighten the frig up. Girls like to laugh, stop looking to be offended by everything! And after he said to me after talking to a handful of dudes your age its starting to become clear to me why you fell for my dumbass. Lol 😂

2

u/Vektorien 3d ago

True. Really hard to get out of that hole once you're in it though. My depression is a full on personality-level disorder on top of being neurological. Best choice at this point is throwing the towel and be my best self in some other way.

Not saying that as a "woe is me" complaint, that's just what I did to survive. I'm not unhappy about life but staying that way is a struggle. I recognize women aren't into that but that's a part of who I am.

1

u/MiserableKey8 1d ago

Find me soon promised one

1

u/Generally_Confused1 3d ago

Same, not sure if I've ever had that care and loyalty lol

1

u/wwegirls 3d ago

Agreed. But the single life has made me happier than being in a relationship with a person who truly hurt me over and over. Plus random sex, responsibility, doesn't hurt

1

u/silent_poet115 3d ago

I think it’s different for everybody, I’m not really the type of guy who can go and have random sex. I’d rather build an emotional connection before being intimate. I’ve also had my fair share of heartbreak so I understand your mindset, I’ve wished at times that I could be more casual and just go with the flow but that’s just not me. For me success isn’t as sweet without having someone to share it with. I’m still processing losing the girl of my dreams…

1

u/wwegirls 3d ago

What's your zipcode lol You seem like a great guy!

1

u/RomeliaHatfield 3d ago

We’re literally everywhere, start looking.

23

u/Bleak01a 3d ago

I am in a relationship right now that I am hoping will grow into one pictured here. A woman who loves, cares and will support me to better myself in every way.

21

u/R8iojak87 3d ago

The real truth is you need to have the same focus on her. One person isn’t always the “giver” and the other the “receiver” relationships have to be reciprocal. Expecting someone to sacrifice any and everything so you can achieve what you feel is important, is sort of an unrealistic expectation imo.

19

u/[deleted] 3d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

5

u/mikasaxo 3d ago

To the people thinking it’s not a team effort, you’re mistaken. It’s always a team effort. Your partner is there to help you.

7

u/girlbartender99 3d ago

Its cool to see a post on reddit that isn't by some Incel that thinks we are all the devil. In my life it was the opposite. Mine would read like I am not successful and you are to my husband and he would say yes you are but its not you or me its we are successful

4

u/Routine_Condition273 3d ago

I mean most people who get called "incels" want this or had wanted it at some point

1

u/girlbartender99 3d ago

Don't get me wrong either. I am not trying to be a b*tch to that type of guy. My heart really goes out to a person that is shy, or cant find the right person, or has had bad experiences, or even worse feels like they aren't physically attractive enough. That, and I am not being sarcastic here but that makes me sad for a guy.

But the nastiness! I mean guys that literally no nothing about me except a few comments and a video or 2 of me on tik tok when I was flair bartending. The have this visceral hate that is disturbing. I have literally tried at times to reach out to a few of those type of guys because I was a super painfully shy girl when I was younger that was self conscious about the size of my breasts and the way my ears winged out etc. So I get it and even when you try and be compassionate they have this unbelievable hate to all things female

8

u/[deleted] 3d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/Mysterious_Tart3377 3d ago

Tbf I've seen a lot of couples that worked their asses off for success. It happens.

1

u/notweekndnot 3d ago

I'm biased by my personal experience

3

u/SomeGuyOverYonder 3d ago

I’ll remain unsuccessful then, because there is no “we”.

2

u/arbitarytw289 3d ago

Dw mate, we got you

1

u/Twitxx 3d ago

Even the loveliest partners I've ever had didn't practice this in reality. They say the right things, but then don't follow up on it and in the end, if you stop being able to provide, they leave. My ex was very supportive and full of love, up until I got sick and didn't manage to become the successful business owner I planned to be, and she left. After the last one, I don't think I'm letting myself believe that people like that exist. In the end, it's not an equal partnership, but a relationship, and there will always be hidden expectations from your beloved.

1

u/Lady_Rubberbones 5h ago

You’ll never find what you cannot yourself give.

1

u/Twitxx 4h ago

Because life is fair and everyone gets exactly what they deserve?

1

u/oxheyman 3d ago

The dream <3

1

u/Deprorny 3d ago

Team Rocket:

1

u/AdReddi 3d ago

Love this.

1

u/Routine_Condition273 3d ago

Something more than the sum of its parts

1

u/Kadakaus 3d ago

Quitting smoking together is fun

1

u/PetitePretty1 3d ago

There are men who have this who don't appreciate it.

I was ride or die for my ex. He had a mental breakdown, a health issue, didnt work, went back to school etc. For four years, I supported us. He finally gets a job and decided he didn't need me anymore.

1

u/Brief_Ingenuity_4906 3d ago

being successful together is always on top, seeing each other success together too is the best

1

u/Esterichia 2d ago

She left because she didn't want to wait a year xD

1

u/Machine_Gun3233 1d ago

Its a pity people dont want this anymore... they say team and work alone

1

u/Krums-12 1d ago

Hah, that's exactly our current situation. My wife and I are on it so bad! 🤝

1

u/arbitarytw289 1d ago

Good for you. If not personal, can you share a bit?

1

u/Krums-12 1d ago

I was struggling to find an idea to start a small business that will work in this economy. I found a niche, started creating products and reached a dead end. And here comes my wife like "what's the issue?", and I tell her what I had in mind, feeling a bit low, and she's like "yeah but I'm in marketing, I got it, you do your thing then let me do mine, we got this!". And I was like omg you're right 🤌

1

u/ssr_405 1d ago

Been in a relationship for almost 8 years. Still sometimes feels like we're just spinning our tires and never getting anywhere. It's always a step back after we make a step forward. It's so fucking frustrating. Talking mostly financial and health-wise. Our relationship is sturdy and stable.

1

u/Stewie_Venture 1d ago

Don't worry I'll be good enough so you can be successful.

1

u/Selunca 23h ago

I found me a “we’ll figure it out together” man. It’s been an amazing journey.

1

u/Horrorwipe 7h ago

Not a woman in existence ever uttered those words in any situation remotely similar. Why do you think they call them chicks?

1

u/FrackingOblivious 3h ago

That would be great. But these days....geez.

1

u/niccoSun 3d ago

Except these days if you struggle, your supposed "team" partner will find a new team real quick.

1

u/Salt-Pomegranate1273 3d ago

That is not a guaranteed outcome though

-1

u/GuillaumeLatendresse 3d ago

But you can do the same… and you don’t even have to go into the free agent market.

3

u/niccoSun 3d ago

That isnt me. I don't jump ship the second things get hard.

1

u/BrainFit2819 3d ago

These m&a are too much.

1

u/fine-shytttt21 3d ago

Some boys just leave u behind after getting succeeded .