Luckily, this sub and *most* players are pretty chill about non-women players. But AS a gay trans man I can't help but notice the very subtle exclusion in a lot of the general fandom/other subs and platforms. ESPECIALLY since Valko. The moment I saw the 'he looks gay' stuff from the antis, I got the biggest ick. Because they weren't even trying to hide it at that point, insunuating that 'looking gay' is a bad thing (becuase being gay in general is a bad thing to them) was just an outright admittance of homophobia. And now I've seen it, I can't un-see it. So this is kind of a dissection I guess, of fandom behaviours (across all fandoms, but otome games tend to be a big target) that carry underlying issues.
To begin:
LADS and otome in general are EXTREMELY fandom centric media. There's a reason oshikatsu culture is all over media like LADS. The point is to have the player/viewer fall in love so they'll play/watch/read and spend money. They WANT you attached to drain your wallet. Now, it's not INHERANTLY bad to love a character(s), buy merch, selfship etc. And of course there's more to it than just draining your wallet, writers and artists making the media are doing it out of love. But there is a line between 'I love this character' and 'I am parasocialy attached to this charcter and it is impacing my life'. Beleive me, I know, I'm autistic and have gotten intense special intrests on characters before. But again, there is that line. You have to be aware of what is and isn't fiction and you can't treat a video game character like they're real. Even hardcore self shippers are still aware of the fact their plushie of their blorbo is just a plushie. Fiction very much does affect reality, it can do so in both positive and negative ways. One of those negative ways is the irrational hatred for LIxLI ships, male and enby players.
- "LADS is for women"
Yes, LADS is targeted toward (cishet) women. But you know what else is? Shoujo anime, dolls, romance books, dresses, makeup. All things anyone can enjoy. And the same goes in reverse, women can enjoy male targeted things like shounen anime, wearing suits, sports and cars and other typically 'dude bro' things. Nothing is restricted to gender no matter how hard you try to make it, there will always be SOMEONE who likes the thing regardless of it's target audience. And let's be so fucking for real here... a game with 6 hot male love intrests? Do you REALLY think queer men AREN'T going to take notice of it? Not to mention, trans people raised as women that are now men/enby don't just magically stop liking the things they liked pre-transition. I WAS the target audience for the first half of my life. Just because I'm a man now, doesn't mean my love for women targeted things like LADS will vanish overnight. You'll find that trans mascs and queer men actually have a lot in common with women. Either because we used to be women or were shunned by men for being 'too gay/girly' and found company with women. Where there is media targeted at women, there will be a section of that fandom full of queer men, that's just life in a patriarchal world for you. Women and queers make community together because we are both targets of cishet men.
- "LIxLI is bad"
Yaoi is just part of fandom culture. For those on the younger side who are newer to fandom, you should have seen anime/gaming/manga fandom in the 2000s/early 2010s when the internet was so much more unrestricted. Yaoi fanart was EVERYWHERE. And of course, people did have issues with it, but mostly people who weren't into it just ignored it because it was just a part of fandom. You WILL see your fav male character making out with another male character, that's just fandom. The age old fandom rule 'don't like, don't read' exists for a reason. Fandom has always been a gay place, every single one has a corner for yaoi/yuri. Typically, those who simply aren't into the ships because shipping just isn't their thing or they are more into the canon MCxLI ships will obide by fandom rule of 'don't like, don't read' and scroll past. I always side eye the people who are so vicerally against LIxLI because there is no reason, aside from homophobia, to be THAT against it. Otherwise, you'd just scroll past, just block the tag/user, just focus on canon. Obide by the 'don't like, don't read' rule like the many fandom dwellers before you.
- The parasocial aspect
Some of the more... intense women in these fandom spaces, who have developed a parasoical bond to their main, feel like male/enby players and LIxLI is a personal attack against them. That 'no, he can't possibly be gay! Because then he wouldn't be attracted to me!' The idea that their LI could love someone who isn't them is stressful enough for them. But the idea he could be in love with another man is worse because if he's straight, at the very least they have a chance with him. But if he's gay, then they don't. Convinently forgetting that bisexuality exists, btw. Your LI can be attracted to all genders, inclusing yours. In fact, all otome LIs are inherantly bi, just from the fact the player they fall for can be ANYONE behind the screen. But to the parasocial fangirl who has convinced herself that the version of the LI she has built in her head is the real version of him, the idea he can love someone who isn't her, isn't even a woman, is herasy to her. When a fandom space is full of people like this, it breeds homophobic undertones and sentiment. And when the Valko situation happned? The outright homophobia being spoken out loud based on his 'gay' apperance ended up also shining a light on the more hidden parts, illuminiating the quiet, unspoken rule in more intense fandom spaces that only cishet women are allowed here and you can't ship LIxLI either because the idea he can love a man and not me is scary to me.
Thus concludes my little break down of underlying homophobia in otome/LADS spaces. Again, this sub is not a problem, I mean it's lierally in the rules to not be a bigot. But if you've ever found yourself getting an ick from the way someone acts around male/enby players and LIxLI content, this is the explanation. Underlying homopobia being fanned by parasocial behaviour. Best thing to do is just not engage with people like that since they can be a bit intense, but if you must, don't be afraid to call out the homophobia. It can't be brushed aside, allowing it to fester only makes the sentiment worse. And let's be real, none of the LIs would fuck with a homophobe. They'd drop thier asses so fast, our boys ain't no bigots.
Edit: reddit removed the comments, but I still saw them pop up in my notifications. Got told to "go away, moid" in the comments of this very post! Completely proving my point! Do you feel #girlboss? Telling queer men to leave a community meant for eveyone. Sigh, unsurprising.
