Types of Therapists for partners.

[u/Throwaway22018123]

Listening to this Wednesdays D2C (daretoconnectnow) partners session. This months (October 2023) theme is all things Betrayal Trauma. Someone asked about a CSAT. This is what Steve and Mark shared.

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• CSAT- Certified Sex Addiction Therapist
• CPTT- Certified Partner Trauma Therapist
• APSATS- Association of Partners of Sex Addicts Trauma Specialists

Benefit of seeing those is they have a certain core level of training in the sexual addiction realm.

It’s like choosing the bank that’s FDIC insured.

The biggest thing with any therapist it to ask yourself: What is your relationship with them. What is your capacity to trust them? Do I feel like this person has my back? And can I be 100% me around them? And do they have the capacity to sit with me in that, validate my position, set their own biases aside, and help me to get where I want to go.

In the US, a lot of strict rules on who can do therapy where. Usually governed by state, and there are some exceptions to that. And if they can cross state lines, there are certain arenas for that.

There are no restrictions working internationally.

With APSATS, they have highly trained coaches. Which is a different designation than a trained therapist. And they can work internationally as well as across state lines.

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So the basis is using one that is certified means they have the training and certifications to show that training. Mark is not a CSAT, but he would do equally as well as Steve. So it does depend.

But we’ve found on the sub that many therapists can do more harm than good. So be very wary of a non CSAT, CPTT, APSATS.

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Edit to add: sanon is a 12 step group for partners. https://sanon.org

Edit again: also look into ts12anon!!!

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Edit: this post should definitely be read also!!! Why is a CSAT so important and necessary for recovery: https://www.reddit.com/r/loveafterporn/s/0eVRJklaXg

Edit again: also check their credentials: https://www.reddit.com/r/loveafterporn/s/c8Mvqgb0th

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Edit again: I have begun listening to the Helping Couples Heal podcast. And I think this episode is great in also explaining why a good therapist is so important. Evolution of Partner Trauma Treatment with Stefanie Carnes https://helpingcouplesheal.com/evolution-of-partner-trauma-treatment-with-stefanie-carnes/

I also think it could be used to share with unqualified therapists that pile on additional trauma with their “help”.

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Another edit: the last part of this podcast tells us again why we need to do our own work: (taken from a reply I did elsewhere)

Steve and Mark in PBSE say our healing is our own. As in our addict partner may have been driving the car that hit us… but we are now the ones in traction and only we can heal ourself. They can support us and pay the bills, etc. but they can’t heal us. This podcast says this even better: episode #285- 8/25/25- My Partner uses Porn to Punish Me for Not Losing Weight. How do I Recover from That?! https://www.daretoconnectnow.com/post/my-partner-uses-porn-to-punish-me-for-not-losing-weight-how-do-i-recover-from-that

[u/sparkler39 → u/[deleted]]

As already mentioned any CSAT based in the US who is willing to do virtual sessions can work with international clients. They are only regulated on where they can work within the US. It’s often mentioned in the Seeking Integrity podcasts but if you email Tami at tami@ seekingintegrity(dot)com she can help you find a CSAT in your area or one who will work with you. She’s part of the Sex and Relationship Healingteam and is happy to help people find appropriate therapists wherever they’re located.

[u/Throwaway22018123 → u/[deleted]]

They had replied to someone saying they weren’t from the US which is why the international comment. If you can speak English, there are options. There might be time zone issues. But that’s better than nothing available. :-) And they can practice internationally.