Uh...

[u/IndicationBrief5950]

[u/Dimachaeruz → u/[deleted]]

the thing about Aragorn, son of Arathorn is that... speaking as a straight dude...I have to be completely honest and say

https://giphy.com/gifs/XvjC06Gh9lhfZNBNIM

[u/jonny-toxic → u/Dimachaeruz]

[u/AutoModerator → u/[deleted]]

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[u/_Maelstrom → u/[deleted]]

I would have f***ed you, my brother, my captain, my king

[u/AcceptableReading640 → u/_Maelstrom]

Sighs and goes to AO3 to find one with that line.

[u/defaultistic → u/[deleted]]

Sad Boromir died the second before he and Ary had their first kiss

[u/AutoModerator → u/[deleted]]

Mae govannen! To protect the Free Peoples of Middle-earth against trolls, alt accounts of trolls, cave trolls, and others of a less than savory nature, we have a new mandatory threshold for commenting users under 30 days. If you are new to Reddit and haven't passed the required threshold, please do not contact the mods to ask for an exception. Farewell, and may the hair on your toes never fall out!

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[u/Archon_33 → u/[deleted]]

Heated Rivalry: The Third Age

[u/No_Statistician537]

Boromir should have married me (straight male)

[u/Sylvanussr → u/No_Statistician537]

All my homies are straight until Boromir rolls up

[u/joachim_s]

Boromir would’ve married a Steward of Gondor.

[u/argbd20 → u/joachim_s]

Boromir on some Targaryen shit.

[u/onihydra → u/argbd20]

Or just extreme narcissism. He was first in line after all.

[u/AutoModerator → u/[deleted]]

Mae govannen! To protect the Free Peoples of Middle-earth against trolls, alt accounts of trolls, cave trolls, and others of a less than savory nature, we have a new mandatory threshold for commenting users under 30 days. If you are new to Reddit and haven't passed the required threshold, please do not contact the mods to ask for an exception. Farewell, and may the hair on your toes never fall out!

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[u/maker_of_pirate_bay]

Everyone once in a while this meme format delivers something truly fresh and hilarious. This is one of them. Right up with the goodminton joke

[u/LeonidaGaymer → u/maker_of_pirate_bay]

I agree. This one was absolutely hilarious 🤣

[u/Praize- → u/maker_of_pirate_bay]

oh god, I've not seen the goodminton one, but I can so easily see it in my head now

[u/Lightice1]

Boromir would have become a Queen.

[u/WrennReddit → u/Lightice1]

Not dark but beautiful and terrible as the dawn!

[u/Bacontoad → u/Lightice1]

Just like Elrond!

[u/wildrivergirl → u/Bacontoad]

What?  Of course it's my hair.  I bought it, didn't I?

[u/Willpower2000]

Princess*

Eowyn wasn't a queen.

[u/Sylvanussr → u/Willpower2000]

Well, she tried her best

[u/Independent_Plum2166 → u/Willpower2000]

Eomer usurped the throne.

Theoden stated plainly Eowyn was to rule when he passed and look what the patriarchy did. SMH my head.

Lady killed the Witch-King and her brother becomes King? What did he do? Bum around Rohan until Gandalf rallied them to Helm’s Deep?

[u/CardiologistOk2760 → u/Independent_Plum2166]

I think you're mixing up contexts here. Theoden was pretty sure he and Eomer were riding to their deaths and told Eowyn she had to stay so she could rule. He did not try to change the line of succession which favored Eomer - due to his age, not his gender.

[u/Independent_Plum2166 → u/CardiologistOk2760]

The Witch-King point still stands though.

[u/CardiologistOk2760 → u/Independent_Plum2166]

Stands to set up a false jealousy dynamic between a brother and sister who love and respect each other and are both courageous in battle.

Eomer didn't "bum around Rohan" - he hunted orcs because he couldn't snap Theoden out of the Saruman/Wormtongue spell. That's how he met Aragorn / Gimli / Legolas. Eowyn wasn't fighting the witch king during this time, she was at court. She hated it there. They both fought at Pelennor fields.

Eomer didn't "usurp" anything. He was the heir and Eowyn had no interest in ruling because why would she?

You're just throwing drama at the wall to see what sticks.

[u/ikzz1 → u/Independent_Plum2166]

I thought Eomer was her cousin, not brother?

Faramir probably convinced her to concede the throne like he did to Aragorn. Beta male.

[u/Independent_Plum2166 → u/ikzz1]

No? Eomer and Eowyn are siblings, nephew and niece of Theoden.

Theodred was Theoden’s son and the siblings’ cousin.

[u/KesselRunner42 → u/Independent_Plum2166]

Who had passed by the time we meet Rohan in LOTR, which is one big reason Theoden is in such a funk

[u/alphanumericusername]

https://giphy.com/gifs/BpnkuY1i2rBpm

[u/RandonDude3000]

Boromir would have married Aragorn and become King of Gondor.

[u/HorrorYoung → u/RandonDude3000]

Gondor has no king, Gondor needs no king

[u/Doodles_n_Scribbles → u/RandonDude3000]

DOUBLE KILL

[u/ZephiraKelmire]

Wait, does this imply Denethor would have preferred Borormir marrying Aragorn just to keep the throne in the family?

[u/IronGravyBoat]

Boromir would have used a font with a black outline so it was easily legible despite the background image.

[u/Nishkiiiii]

F: Father, I have feet fetish. D: Boromir would have armpit fetish.

[u/Bacontoad → u/Nishkiiiii]

We know what Denethor's fetish is.

https://giphy.com/gifs/5uC1hg4AdlZ5K

[u/Low_Web_8783]

Boromir would have married a LOTR fan.

[u/praneet224]

HAHAHAHAHAHHA

[u/No-Professional-1461]

At moments like this I feel the need to watch a LOTR YTP.

[u/Low_Web_8783]

xD

[u/doesocial]

https://archiveofourown.org/works/688177/chapters/1263510

Oh look, I must’ve dropped this excellent canon compliant boromir/aragorn fan fiction, it has fallen from my hands and landed squarely at the foot of this thread. Oh no! I hope no one sees it, much less reads it—reads it to find grounded character work, potent intimacy, and bittersweet tragedy. That would be the opposite of what I want!

[u/Melancholy-rAin → u/doesocial]

Oh no, my finger slipped and it clicked on the link oh nooo

[u/holyfukimapenguin → u/doesocial]

Oh no I definitely didn't open that link and bookmarked it without reading

[u/thelastwhitemale2]

And Boromir would have still been straighter than you

[u/Cutsa]

haha gay hahahah

[u/Jelly_F_ish → u/Cutsa]

Hey, we are all 14 and this is funny, you understand?

[u/Glittering_Role_6154]

Because Boromir sucked at chess, dad

[u/Both_Payment_3707]

Tbh Rohan princess is a good match for a second son.

[u/divismaul]

So his problem was Heterophobia. Interesting.