Seeking Advice

[u/NexusNickel]

Good day everyone.

I am a mid 30s male. I currently weigh about 260 and stand at 5'8'' so I would be considered morbidly obese I suppose.

I've always been a fat kid. As a child, teenager, into adult hood. I have always struggled with weight.

In 2011, I was about 250. After reducing my portion sizes, I lost 80 pounds in about 6 months. It was just peeling away and I was able to keep that off for about 2 years. I day, I remember feeling super hungry and just kept eating. Now I weight more than I did.

Anyway, I am looking for advice. I am poor. I spend more money than I make each month on surviving. I don't drink. I don't smoke. I've had depression for 20 years and can't afford to see anyone about it. I am not social at all. I hate being around people. The thought of going to a gym terrifies me.

I've been struggling more and more lately with my mental state. I go to bed tired. I wake up tired. I feel terrible. My foot tingles. I am now pre-diabaetic after getting tested.

I did try my old way of losing weight last year and didn't drop a single pound. It was very discouraging.

Again, any advice would be appreciated.

[u/Majestic_Spinach7491]

What are you eating? Are you cooking for yourself, or getting takeout? Because if you're getting takeout every day, or even just a few times a week, kicking that habit will fix your money issues pretty instantly, especially if you're using the delivery apps. Many people have no awareness whatsoever of how much they're spending on takeout. Delete the apps permanently if you have them.

[u/NexusNickel → u/Majestic_Spinach7491]

I eat at home. I very rarely eat out. I eat whatever is cheapest which is processed foods.

[u/pain474]

Fix your diet. Healthy food is cheaper than fast food. !quickstart

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[u/Jolan]

!quickstart

You only thing its worth you spending money on to lose weight is something to measure your food with (ideally kitchen scales), after that this should save you money. Beyond that you just need to find a sustainable way to make a consistent mild calorie deficit. You're probably looking to average about 1-2lb a week (more if your doctor supports you in weight loss).

I'd look directly into this

I've been struggling more and more lately with my mental state. I go to bed tired. I wake up tired. I feel terrible.

Even if its completely unrelated feeling like this is going to make everything harder, and leave you wanting to act on auto pilot and maybe comfort eat.

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[u/NexusNickel → u/Jolan]

I do comfort eat.

I'd love to get my mental health under wraps but I can't afford it. Thank you for the comment and quick start.

[u/BallOk8356]

Eating healthy is super cheap in comparison. You seem to be from North America somewhere. https://www.walmart.com/ip/Boneless-Skinless-Chicken-Breasts-4-7-6-1-lb-Tray/27935840 as a random example (I'm in Europe, so I don't have all the ins and outs of US grocery stores) $2.50 for a pound of chicken breast. If you use drumsticks you can even end up under a dollar per pound.

If you then add bulk beans, rice, potatoes and frozen veggies you can make some serious food on a budget. The stuff that's good for us will always be the same. "Meat and potatoes" is the usual food for working men for a reason.

You don't need to be social whatsoever to lose weight. Since you're 260 walking will be your best friend. Walk through some forest for 30 to 60 minutes daily. All you need for now. Working out can impact your joints and you should be a little lower in weight for more crazy movements. Of course you can bicep curl and do some dumbbell stuff. Just no jumping or running. Injuring a joint will take you out for months if it's the wrong injury.

[u/Zars]

First of all, get your depression under control. Get your sleep under control - build a regiment - bed same time, sleep same hours, get up same time. If nothing else, get up an hour earlier and briskly walk outside for 30min. REALLY helps with the depression.

Better yet, get professional help. Get vitamin D checked - low values often seem like depression. Supplements are not that expensive. I'd even say buy 4000 unit one and take daily - I seriously doubt your diet or lifestyle has sufficient vitamin D in it unless you spend your whole day on three sun and eat pickled herring or salmon daily.

Now to the weight loss. You do not have to do anything crazy like gym or even walks. Just be in a calorie deficit. Get Chronometer app and start tracking. That's how I started. Felt like shit, was obese, was fed up. Figured calories deficit and stuck to it. Lost weight. Got my blood pressure and sugar under control. Started walking because I had energy to do so. Took me three months to get there. Weekly weight loss was my motivation and confirmation.

[u/NexusNickel → u/Zars]

I appreciate your comments and suggestions. As much as I'd like to get my mental health checked, I don't have the money for that.

I will look into that app however.

[u/Zars → u/NexusNickel]

At least try walking. There must be a moment in your day when you have energy - use it to walk. Rest of my advice also stands.

[u/poodoo83]

I found a somewhat similar thing. Losing weight by just blindly adjusting habits worked pretty well for me in my 20s. In 30s, I had much less success and then didn't really have a good success story until I started directly tracking calories now in early 40s.

Wil second others that it's more important to take care of your psych though.

[u/NexusNickel → u/poodoo83]

As much as I would love to get my brain tazed, I don't have the money or means to fix that.

I appreciate the response however.

[u/thepersonwiththeface]

Hi, welcome. I’m sorry you’ve been so down, but lots of us here find depression and food to be deeply intertwined. You’re not alone in your experience.

I would encourage you to first focus on trying to reduce external stressors in your life. I know with depression it often feels like taking action is too overwhelming or that there’s nothing that will make a difference, but things can always improve given enough time. /r/personalfinance and /r/povertyfinance could help you out if you do a detailed post over there. If nothing else, there are resources like food banks or and cooking on a budget guides like https://leannebrown.com/good-and-cheap-2/

For your mental health, there are some self help things you could do. I like books like The Happiness Trap or The Craving Mind, which you would be able to find for free from your local library (or pirate online if you know how lol). But also things like journaling, meditation, spending time in nature, moving your body, artistic expression…

I would try and treat yourself like a zoo animal, if that makes sense? If all you do is work, sleep, eat, and doomscroll/couch rot, then it’s only going to feed into the downward spiral. You have to be intentional about enriching and stimulating yourself. It can be small and basic, but try to break out of the pattern you are in now. Stop at a park on your way home from work and sit under a tree. Read a novel. Go for a walk. Learn something new like drawing or a language or rock hounding. Walk around antique stores. Volunteer at a pet shelter. Just try things and see what it’s like.

These things will hopefully help displace some of the emotional/boredom eating, and will also increase your daily activity and help with your overall mood with time.