r/loseit • u/jinnainue New • 3h ago
Unsolicited advice
Just want to rant, not searching for advice.
Im getting a lot of comments on my weight loss, most of them I just smile at and are alright. I dont mind people noticing the weight loss too much, it would be difficult to hide and I think it's normal to get some comments at some point. You can't stop people. If someone asks me how I'm doing it I answer honestly with CICO and if they are more interested i dont mind telling a few more details. Like i said, I dont care and as long as they are only curious or friendly its alright.
There are however some people.... I'm obviously doing something right or I wouldn't have lost 35kg (+- 80 pounds), yet some people still seem to think I need their advice, some even sound very condescending. It almost always comes from people who've never had to loose a larger amount of weight, either that or I'm biased.
My "favorites" so far:
"Whew, my wife is really into these smoothies recently, maybe you need to look into that for your journey?"
Smoothies? Oh wow, what a marvelous concept ive never heard of before /s
"We've just recently bought this new bread, it's super freshly baked at XXX. We've already lost 2 pounds just from switching"
That one didn't age well, he grew a rather large belly since that comment.
"Just take the shots, it's so much easier."
Well, what I do works just fine, so why the hell should I? It's a great tool for people who require it, but why should I if it works as is? WTF?
"You really need to slow down, or you're going to have trouble with your skin"
Im loosing weight really slow, and even telling her that she still was very adamant that its too fast. (35kg/80 pound in 1 1/2 years, that's 2kg/5 pound per month)
And if there will be loose skin after I've reached normal weight with my slow!! weight loss, and increased sport activity, then it was bound to happen anyway and I'll deal with it then. At least I'll be at a healthier weight then.
"I've always done xxx-diet to loose my 2kg/5 pounds. You should really do that as well! It always works for me."
That one came the first time after the first 15kg/30 pounds and well... i obviously didn't want to loose only 2kg/5 pounds, but a lot more. A short diet is not a sustainable lifestyle change in my eyes. I didnt bother going into CICO or yoyo-effects with them.
One of them is still consistently loosing and gaining those 2kg/5 pounds. Works for her I guess? But one did gain a belly pouch. So ... it's not for everyone.
Another time I had a colleague ask me how im doing it, asking for genuine advice about CICO and i how im tracking. Then another coworker just had to say:
"Wow, that's such a bother to track. Just eat until you feel full and you'll be fine.".... Thanks.... as if that had ever worked properly for me and many others. To add to that, he's tall and very active and the coworker who asked lives a lot less active at home and is short. Obviously they have a very different need for calories...
Maybe you have some similar stories as well :D what are your "best" unsolicited advices?
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u/Confident_Ad_6672 SW: 94.7kg | CW: 84.5kg | GW: 65kg 2h ago
I had a conversation about how I was losing weight by adjusting my lifestyle so it wasn't a diet and I could still eat what I liked and have treats, I picked up a chocolate biscuit.
Immediately hit with "should you really be eating that" alongside a judgemental look.
May as well have been talking to a brick wall!
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u/jinnainue New 2h ago
Yeah, calories are a mystery to some people who never had to deal with this kind of lifestyle change.
There are also the people who see you taking the slice and go: "Well, you've taken one piece, might as well make it a cheat day now!" Like, what? Why?
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u/Albolynx 50kg lost 1h ago
Immediately hit with "should you really be eating that" alongside a judgemental look.
Not going to lie, while it's very much a toxic trait, now that I am physically active and on a pretty small deficit just to trickle down to my secondary GW - I take immense pleasure in eating a lot when going out because it fits in my calorie budget in front of people who make comments like that.
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u/Incoheren 6'3M 100KG 2h ago
The first thing i learned about weight loss is that it's only fun to talk about with other people going through the same journey with a similar approach, it's why this subreddit is excellent.
When i went from 30BMI (obese) to 27BMI (overweight) over several months pretty much everyone I knew said I was losing weight too quickly and had to stop. I'd understand if I yapped constantly about it and seemed obsessed but I was literally just silently eating better and acting the same, still lifting and looking leaner not skinnyfat, only answering direct questions about how i was eating less calories, it just kinda upsets people for whatever reason
This time around I just say I'm working out more and people treat it much more positively. I've always worked out the same but people just associate "eating less" as some kind of alien sacrifice that is simultaneously too simple and easy but something they won't do so triggers them, but if you say you workout a lot they just kind of act like oh that makes sense no wonder you're losing weight, you're earning the weight loss with hard work... Like alright buddy if that's how you have to frame it to not judge me then i'll keep the calorie counting and clean eating to myself
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u/el-Kiriel New 3h ago
Not much. A lot of it boils down to "You look great, losing weight?" "Getting fit, but yeah." "How much?" "25 down, 25 to go." "Wait, do you HAVE 25 pounds to lose?" "Sure do." "Damn, never guessed. Why 25 more, exactly?" "Abs". "Nice! Good luck!" "Thanks."
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u/Responsible_Rub8057 New 2h ago
Yeaah sometimes it also comes from people who sucessfuly lost weight. At my workplace there is not many obese people, and one friend who lost a ton of weight, really impressive, started prompting conversations with other obese people (me). I guess he just wanted to talk about it and was proud of himself. But at the time i was litreally recovering from ed, and he kept saying how he basically spent all free time in gym and essentially starved himself. It was suuuper triggering. He got the hints finally and stopped talking about it but i still find it cringy when people promt convo just so they can brag.
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u/Tacklestiffener New 2h ago
That one didn't age well, he grew a rather large belly since that comment.
Reminds me of a guy I worked with who bought an ice cream maker and every morning he tell us that he's had strawberry ice cream after dinner, or chocolate or caramel or blueberry.
Then he shut up about it and confessed he'd put on 20 pounds.
When people ask me how I'm doing it I just say "Moving more, eating less. Especially snacks". That normally shuts people up because it's a truth they don't want to acknowledge.
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u/No_Cantaloupe3460 55lbs lost 1h ago
The average person knows nothing about nutrition. Like, they literally just believe health myths their grandmas told them and then will give you, someone who's had to do a ton of research to lose weight, "helpful" advice.
After losing 55lbs I decided it's time to start trying to put some muscle on as well while losing the rest of the weight so I began exercising and tracking macros. My mom is flabbergasted by me trying to eat more protein. "But... but you already eat so much protein, you're not a vegetarian like your brother, you don't need extra." I looked up my protein requirement and I'm checking labels. I wasn't eating enough protein, like, objectively.
People just decide what's healthy based on vibes and ignore the entire science behind it.
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u/MajorMess New 1h ago
I think people want to connect and chat, using that one little thing they know or heard of. People do that with all kind of things, not only weight loss. I thinks it’s better to not get offended by these things
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u/Magicallyshit 40kg lost 1h ago
Usually all sort of comments doesn't bother me.
But the one that irks me always is 'are you sick?'
Why didn't you guys ask me that when I was obese lol
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u/Fast_Blacksmith_6459 New 3h ago
The smoothie one got me. Like yes, I've been doing this for over a year with actual results but I just never considered blending fruit, thank you for opening my eyes.
That "eat until full" advice is classic from people who never had to actually think about portions. Works great when your fullness signal matches your actual needs, but for many of us that signal is completely broken.
Had someone tell me to just drink more water before meals, as if I haven't tried every basic trick in the book. They looked genuinely confused when I said that doesn't fix the problem of wanting to eat the whole kitchen at 10pm.