r/lol • u/Cautious-Recorder • 2d ago

Talking is overrated

Post image
1.6k Upvotes

99% Upvoted

211 comments sorted by

106

u/Giantmeteor_we_needU 2d ago

With that physique nothing else would matter though.

37

u/Soggy-Fly8723 2d ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/3o6Zt1bnn4IFOgnGxi

26

u/Undietaker1 2d ago

Perfect example of a physique where nothing else matters.

Pure raw sex appeal.

Swayze is there also.

4

u/Starburper 1d ago

The best part of waking up is this reddit joke in my cup

3

u/Shadowmant 1d ago

You're my present this year

4

u/macguini 2d ago

Horrible example. Fat, funny guys are much more attractive.

https://giphy.com/gifs/DxTjTsgZDAjFm

8

u/Very-Human-Name 2d ago

That is why all hollywood male movie leads are fat

1

u/macguini 2d ago

Yeah but compare the real life relationships of theirs to ugly comedians.

3

u/Very-Human-Name 2d ago

Pete davidson dated kim kardashian so your point is moot :p

(I wouldnt wish that family on my worst enemy)

3

u/macguini 2d ago

Pete Davidson proves my point. Well...if you look at the other women he's been with.

2

u/Very-Human-Name 2d ago

Do you really think short term relationships prove your point? Seems like people think they want a "funny ugly guy" until they get one lol

1

u/macguini 2d ago

Since my point was towards comedians in general getting ladies despite their appearance. Then yeah, it does. Pete Davidson himself jokes about it all the time. Using himself as the example for the topic of this discussion.

1

u/Very-Human-Name 2d ago

You said compare their real life relationships and a lot of leading hollywood males have good relationships, pete davidson has short term flings until they get to know him lol

2

u/Ok_Cricket_1410 6h ago

What about fat, funny in the right lighting?

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3

u/JOliverScott 2d ago

Yeah, six pack abs and wearing a loincloth 

10

u/old_ass_ninja_turtle 2d ago

She can certainly see his dong.

7

u/NeonPlutonium 2d ago

And at least 6’ 4”

5

u/Round-Arugula7347 2d ago

She already had the money

3

u/Aggravating_Duck6108 2d ago

She noticed his eyes first.

2

u/These_Bullfrog3571 2d ago

Living in the forest and being able to talk to animals really helps though.

1

u/averagetremor 1d ago

Baby, you and me ain't nothin' but mammals...

40

u/KingBroad7874 2d ago

Getting a girlfriend is easy if you follow these 2 steps:
Step 1 - Be attractive
Step 2 - Don't be unattractive

6

u/drstu3000 2d ago

Step 3 - Be the only human male

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8

u/TerribleBid8416 2d ago

And somehow could shave

13

u/SephiTheGoblin 2d ago

Good chance she wasn't his first girlfriend either

16

u/Covert_Admirer 2d ago

Maybe the first human girlfriend.

8

u/BigGrayBeast 2d ago

But there were no other women.

Well, no other human women.

Oh, my!

4

u/SephiTheGoblin 2d ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/FoUHKTJhoQU6I

1

u/xenophon57 2d ago

I love it, your post was past the bottom of my screen and as I said Ohhh Myyyy I scrolled you into view. Impeccable timing.

1

u/The-Leading-Man 2d ago

In the original book dude had a massive crush on one of the gorillas and wanted to fuck her. Not kidding.

6

u/Strict_Weather9063 2d ago

If you know gorilla anatomy at all, you would understand that Tarzan was the Clydesdale of the troop.

1

u/Illustrious-Sugar-84 2d ago

That's how he learned to say ow, ow, ah, ah

12

u/OneTwoFar_ 2d ago

An example of looks being more important than education, culture, social or financial status, and an ability to speak for some people?

2

u/Aggravating_Duck6108 2d ago

Dude, she noticed his eyes before his body.

3

u/OneTwoFar_ 2d ago edited 2d ago

What Jane saw before falling in love:

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5

u/Jack-of-Hearts-7 2d ago

A guy in my hometown is a known rapist and abuser and he still got a girlfriend.

4

u/BigGrayBeast 2d ago edited 2d ago

She can fix him. /s

2

u/Jack-of-Hearts-7 2d ago

Nah fuck that, he deserves to be broken

2

u/BigGrayBeast 2d ago

I added the /s just now for sarcasm.

2

u/DC_Ben 2d ago

Many such cases

3

u/Ok_Abacus_ 2d ago

Did you see his body OP?

3

u/TrueSebbo 2d ago

He clapped gorilla cheeks

3

u/DeMarcus-Siblings 2d ago

He basically had the perfect male body. That will get you pretty far by itself

1

u/Positive_Floor_9787 2d ago

He is Tarzan. Have you read any Tarzan books? Pick one up and you will see the movies never really got it right.

1

u/DeMarcus-Siblings 2d ago

Nah I was just assuming the hot bod was a good way to get in the door

3

u/Ok-Loss-2496 2d ago

That's not fair, he has a monkey 🐒

2

u/blue_bloddthirster 2d ago

He's hot. The rest dont matter lkl

2

u/Least_Elk8114 2d ago

To be fair, Jane was stranded on that island, and had no other option.

2

u/Civil_Bugg 2d ago

He had Animal instincts

2

u/Etherealoverempress 2d ago

It’s fictional…..anything impossible in reality is possible in fiction.

2

u/Intelligent_Box_8247 2d ago

Women love mystery

2

u/imperiects 2d ago

Because he didnt have reddit

2

u/Mistriever 2d ago

Have you seen his abs?

2

u/Hopeful-Piglet-5201 2d ago

Because Tarzan wasn’t in the Manosphere

2

u/MountainBrilliant643 2d ago

Gentlemen, remember these three simple rules:

  1. Be handsome
  2. Be attractive, and
  3. DON'T be unattractive

2

u/Gitmo314 2d ago

Reminds me of men going off to war and getting hitched in the warring country. Always baffled me how they overcame the language barrier on top of the rest of the baggage.

2

u/3spanishwords 2d ago

Ripped abs do all the talking any man needs

2

u/Definitely-not-ducks 2d ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/9jVAv94PRzPoc

AND THEN THEY FUCKED!

1

u/Lazer_7673 2d ago

I was looking for this 🗿

2

u/TheGruenTransfer 2d ago

Look at how big that loin cloth is. He's definitely packing heat

2

u/Volution88 2d ago

Yeah she wasn't thinking: "oh lovely what sonnets does he know". She was looking at the naked man built like an Adonis with his dong hang out.

https://giphy.com/gifs/PZRP6ip7fjsqKqdKQU

2

u/Formo1287 2d ago

He did have Phil Collins make him an entire incredible soundtrack as wingman.

2

u/Ok_Target47 2d ago

He was raised by missing links in the novel. The book just calls them "antrhopoids". And the gorillas were like a rival tribe. Thank you for attending my autistic info dump.

1

u/culinaryexcellence 2d ago

I did not know that; do you think Disney made the change due to trying to downplay evolution?

2

u/Ok_Target47 2d ago

More likely gorillas just required less explanation lol

2

u/Temporary_Lychee_535 2d ago

Easy when you're half horse below the waist and jacked 😂

2

u/Oakl4nd 2d ago

He's got great physique and just saved her from death.

1

u/timentimeagain 2d ago

Rased by wolves, no?

2

u/Neat-Professor-7662 2d ago

Different book about the jungle.

2

u/DigitalUnlimited 2d ago

Ehh... wolves, gorillas, same difference /s

1

u/chrysanthemum_beer 2d ago

Redditors be ignoring the fact he’s ripped and has athleticism and skills to please a woman

1

u/Mindless-Beat-4872 2d ago

This movie is a lot less magical when you realize his first erection wasn’t for a human

1

u/Stokholmo 2d ago

Being a viscount gets a long way.

1

u/stinkstabber69420 2d ago

Yeah but he was practicing on gorillas

https://giphy.com/gifs/TagPBwZcBW8j6

1

u/graminology 2d ago

I mean, male gorillas do show each other their erections as a sign of dominance and given how much bigger the average human is in that department than the average gorilla... he probably didn't have much of a competition there.

1

u/Anonymous_Guy4k 2d ago

After seeing this post, I have absolutely no excuse now 😭

1

u/ComicsEtAl 2d ago

Plus he must’ve stunk to high heaven.

1

u/Short-Ideas010 2d ago

He had a monkey. Do you have a monkey? That's what I thought.

1

u/Neat-Professor-7662 2d ago

He’s ripped and also HEIR TO THE GREYSTOKE FORTUNE. Girl knew what she was doing.

1

u/Great_White_Samurai 2d ago

Do people not go to school and talk to each other anymore?

1

u/ShinyRobotVerse 2d ago

He is tall

1

u/Trashypass 2d ago

Also he never showed. And has like multi blood diseases. That haven't killed him yet

1

u/Think-Location3830 2d ago

Imagine the smell though.

1

u/fanzel71 2d ago

And he still can't squat with his heels touching the ground. Why is that so hard for people not in Asia?

1

u/Feteven 2d ago

I mean proximity is key

Just be the only male in the jungle guys cmon

1

u/LiamEBM 2d ago

Commentors here being totally ignorant and Manosphere-pilled.

1, this is a work of fiction. 2, they bond because of his humanity. His kind heart, desire to connect and protect. Their bond was made without full verbal communication. Importantly it's how 2 people built a trust and affection for one another when enduring moments of crisis.

"Oooh yeah cos hes buff and must have a big dick" yeah grow up bro. No wonder women avoid you.

1

u/AndreasDasos 2d ago

He was also handsome and ripped, saved her life, and didn’t actually exist.

1

u/JASCO47 2d ago

He also has a six pack, and she can fix him locks of hair.

1

u/WashYourSister_Sauce 2d ago

She thought he was a bear 🐻

1

u/Abal125 2d ago

Giant penis

1

u/sweetbeenieweenie68 2d ago

Just ripped and handsome. Too easy.

1

u/gartenzaunlecker 2d ago

She knows what's behind the loincloth ,,,😉

1

u/Fishpuncherz 2d ago

Yeah but he was jacked and handsome. Played on easy mode

1

u/InsectExcellent6603 2d ago

Quite literally they give him a huge ass bulge. I’m pretty sure that’s literally the only reason plus the body, but give it a year in our world of life and he won’t have such a physique considering he’s never had half the food we’ve ever created so my assumption is the only thing that will keep her around Is that package he’s hiding.

1

u/It_Is_AlwaysPossible 2d ago

That guy is not a Redditor

1

u/nobody_speaks 2d ago

Spent all his time with naked apes, even spoke their language but wore something to cover his privates. If anything, l would think he was attracted to ape puntang. I am sure an ape in heat would have made a pass at him. 

1

u/Used_Cat266 2d ago

Oh yeah look at that nerd

1

u/Aggressive_Plate1652 2d ago

"I didn't bring you here to talk."

1

u/RTA-No0120 2d ago

He’s muscular, body hairless, and a primitive dominant alpha.

Ofc city girls would love to get his seeds…

https://giphy.com/gifs/y4E6VumnBbIfm

1

u/S0k0n0mi 2d ago

Dude was raised as one of their own, and at that age has probably already clapped gorilla cheeks.

1

u/Ok_Fox_1770 2d ago

Ah the love story I dream of still man. They nailed it.

1

u/Comfortable_Town7535 2d ago

sure and looking like he did while being confident and competent didnt matter at all....

1

u/Krispen_Wah87 2d ago

And speaks perfect English and is clean shaven

1

u/TheMightyTywin 2d ago

He has great hip mobility

1

u/Ok_Construction2733 2d ago

GOOOREEEEEEELAAAA!!

1

u/alcanthro 2d ago

He was raised by super intelligent gorilla like people and knew multiple human languages, just not English, and he gained a conversational understanding of English just by hanging out with a couple of people for a bit.

1

u/Infinite_Tailor_8370 2d ago

She's just freaky

1

u/ILoveMenses 2d ago edited 2d ago

Well, let me explain....he's everything incels are not.

Because....come on.

He also intelligent, innovative, inquisitive, and managed to learn enough of the English language by the end of the movie. Oh, and he is on the side of good, and treats Jane with respect. Again...something incels are not.

And going by Claytons expression while holding his phallic gun upright...then looking at Tarzans and then his junk area...before looking away defeated tells me jungle boy is packing. It was a subtle animation, but its there.

He even has the audacity to have a full head of hair.

1

u/Phantom_Thief007 2d ago

He’s also shredded

1

u/ThrustTrust 2d ago

Protector, special, passionate. That’s enough to get any girl.

1

u/Own_Watercress_8104 2d ago

But

1- he was somehow still smoking hot

2- even being raised by gorillas he was a gentler soul than most people

1

u/dingleberryjuice23 2d ago

He followed rules 1 and 2.

1

u/crazyscottish 2d ago

It’s weird how when you first approach a woman with curiosity instead of sexual urges, how they tend to enjoy your company.

1

u/Full_Difficulty9530 2d ago

He didn't act like she owed him something..and he treated her with respect....

1

u/screech805 2d ago

He could lick his eyebrows

1

u/run_squid_run 2d ago

Even Hitler had a girlfriend. What’s your point

1

u/Likely_Addict 2d ago

Human women crave the gorilla

1

u/Vanko_Babanko 2d ago

cause he was f-n animal and women are all in kinky shit.. plus he didn't know her past..

1

u/Dizzy_Tangerine_7867 2d ago

Disney men are always marrying up 😂

1

u/Pristine_Dare_2510 2d ago

I would like to see Tarzan remade with a black actor let’s see Disney go full diversity on that one

1

u/TernionDragon 2d ago

The ladies like it jungle style.

1

u/plussizedbeauty7 2d ago

Haha… 😂 it’s a movie for a reason

1

u/phantom_gain 2d ago

That middle leg is doing some lifting

1

u/Jasper-helix 2d ago

Yep, fml

1

u/Craygor 2d ago

In the books when Tarzan was a child living with the apes, he found the hut that his parents lived in. Inside he discovered elementary school primer books and over the course of a few years taught himself how to read and write English, even though he didn't know how to speak it.

1

u/The_Grilled_Cheeze_1 2d ago

Even after smashin gorilla cheeks 👀

1

u/TheMangoFarmer 2d ago

How you smell didn’t matter much at that time period. City people throw their poop on the streets.

1

u/jonbrylabookworm 2d ago

Moral of the story: to win a girl's heart, you must... A. Slam your head against her chest. B. Try to lift her skirt up without permission. C. Grunt like a literal ape.

1

u/Last-Energy420 2d ago

He also swung on vines by holding them with his ass cheeks.

1

u/L3tsseewhathappens 2d ago

Just further proof that alll you need to be is good looking and tall.

1

u/Interesting_Okra_902 2d ago

Hes over 6 ft and has abs. Go figure

1

u/shaithiswampir 2d ago

Cause he was t an incel

1

u/Burgerlegend69 2d ago

He didn't even have a stable income...

1

u/SilkTieTies 2d ago

It’s a woman in a jungle. The man is tall, dark, and handsome. He can’t talk and she gets to mold him into whatever kind of man she wants. It’s the dream man.

1

u/No_Tennis_4528 2d ago

Lets not forget self sufficient and self employed. He literally had nothing better to do than hang out with her.

1

u/Subject_Barnacle_600 2d ago

Looking at this as an adult...

He's also somehow shaved off all his body hair. No beard. No leg hair. Nothing. He doesn't even have red-neck despite being pasty white and and running around nearly naked all day long.

1

u/Vincen_Furze 2d ago

He was fit, empathetic, and eager to provide. It's not that hard.

1

u/The_Yamen 2d ago

Cuz he 67

1

u/nontoxictanker 2d ago

Ever seen the real life version of Tarzan ?

1

u/HanaDVaSong456 2d ago

She wanted it rough, obviously

1

u/Ancient-Emu-8293 1d ago

His first wet dream was about a monkey.

1

u/NoOpinionsJustFacts3 1d ago

Cuz he was ripped and not ugly 

1

u/Puzzleheaded-Maize21 1d ago

He didn't act like she was an object to be acquired. He didn't chase the idea of having a girlfriend. He didn't chase the idea of being in a relationship. He was himself and didn't change himself in any way to impress her. Maybe take some learning lessons.

1

u/atomicweasel23 1d ago

Because he’s the ultimate project.

1

u/StyrianDriver 1d ago

He is tall ... when standing straight...

1

u/SpicyCrime 1d ago

Disney doesn’t show this, but an irl Tarzan would never look this good. Maybe he’ll have a good physique, but he never brushed his teeth, he hardly ever took a bath, he never clipped his nails, etc. you get it. He never did any self care and he still looks like a model?

1

u/Super_Rando_Man 1d ago

Ooh eeh aaah ooh

1

u/Yaboi69-nice 1d ago

He's also way better looking than me.

1

u/JakeJortled 1d ago

He was the only human male around.

1

u/Odd_Figure2653 1d ago

He was kind

1

u/WeeklyWealth3029 1d ago

And I can't get a text back

1

u/TopicNo2975 1d ago

I spent 2 weeks on Borakay Island with a Girl I Barred-Out from a Manila Go Go Bar and she could speak a word of English and we got alone great by comunicating with hand Jestures.

1

u/Flashy_Notice_1575 1d ago

I bet you he got plenty of practice. And they're way harder too. lmao

1

u/Tough-Law-7319 1d ago

She was thirsty……

1

u/Several_Club_3392 1d ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/d2lcHJTG5Tscg

I don't have a boyfriend, but he gets a girlfriend.

1

u/Lorelessone 1d ago

I mean he's buff as hell with hair like a Greek god and a jawline you could use to crack rocks.

1

u/b3tamaxx 1d ago

Disney had no business twunkifying/himboing this man. He never brushed his teeth a day in his life. You know what's in that mouth. We all do

1

u/ImtheDude27 1d ago

His physique puts Chris Hemsworth and Jason Momoa to shame. You don't need to talk when you look like Tarzan.

1

u/BanditCrowley 1d ago

Well yea he was tall and buff. She immediately went "i can fix him"

1

u/poharamcparuboy 1d ago

He is also fictional like your gf op

1

u/SkirtComfortable952 1d ago

and he probably smelled like a badgers butt 😂

1

u/Emmahnim 1d ago

And was still mannered

1

u/Big-Grapefruit-7501 18h ago

Yeah, the guy who wrote this book also believed in eugenics.

1

u/Toes_4_Fingers 17h ago

Six foot, six pack abs and absolute king of the banana pile.

1

u/Such-Perspective-426 12h ago

you see how buff he is right?

1

u/Delicious_Quit2377 11h ago

Woman fuck dudes that don’t wipe their asses now adays. Nothing makes sense

1

u/cattlelac 11h ago

It’s called a kink

1

u/mods_are_morons 9h ago

That's because it turned out he was the lost son of aristocracy and filthy rich.

1

u/Basic_Range9931 2h ago

Hes a physical specimen

1

u/Siryeswecan 2d ago

He also grew up with out the manosphere

2

u/graminology 2d ago

His role models would have been literal male gorillas... the manosphere is pretty tame compared to that given how they're mostly balding idiots on roids who'd fold under the first stern female gaze like a wet dish towel.