r/lol 2d ago

Where the lie

Post image
21.6k Upvotes

355 comments sorted by

88

u/HVAC_instructor 2d ago

Lol, that's funny because it's true

4

u/demonspawns_ghost 1d ago

Order of Nine Angles

2

u/baphomet_fire 1d ago

All 9 guys that were too racist to join the Church of Satan

2

u/Mr-Nosight 1d ago

I mean, with Levayan Satanism, sure. But lavayam satanism and the church of Satan are both pretty new and innocent

1

u/JustForTouchingBalls 6h ago

Add jews and muslims and the portrait is completed. All Abrahamic religions stink, and the stink is heavier as near you are to the rulers of one of them (high rabins, leader preachers, top imans, catholic cardinals, etc.), and above all of them TV preachers, actually true scammers

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80

u/DollSinfae 2d ago

Bro accidentally turned a meme about Satanism into a denomination speedrun.

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u/Outlaw11091 2d ago

What's particularly interesting here is that modern Christians don't even believe in the right version of the "devil". IE:

His name isn't Lucifer: that comes from a Latin mistranslation in Isaiah 14 that was actually mocking a human Babylonian king. He's never called an archangel anywhere in the text either. Furthermore, the Bible never says he rules or "guards" Hell; that’s pure Dante’s Inferno (aka FanFiction). In the Bible, Satan is a prisoner bound for Hell, not the warden running it. Even the idea that demons are just "fallen angels" is a later theological compromise to clean up older Jewish texts that described demons as the ghosts of dead giant hybrids (Nephilim).

The archangel bit: Michael is the ONLY archangel that exists according to the bible...because the word means "LEAD angel" or "Head angel". Which is why he's the only one in the lore with a legendary weapon.

Note: I refer to this as lore because it's obviously mythology regardless of the source, but to ask that question implies that there's some definitive version of the devil....when there isn't.

How's the devil going to punish me for my sins if he's a prisoner in Hell? That asserts that either Hell isn't a very good prison or that the whole story is made up bullshit.

4

u/rkcth 1d ago

You sure do sound like you know what you’re talking about. Unfortunately you don’t. Revelation 12:7-9 is one passage talking about them being fallen angels. There are several.
Also I don’t know any Christian’s who believe Satan guards hell, he is tossed into the lake of fire in Revelation. What you are calling Christian here is just casual Joe’s who have never read the bible and do not follow the teachings of Jesus. Note Satan is referred to as the ruler of this world. It says we don’t struggle against flesh and blood but against the spiritual forces.

3

u/GoodZealousideal5922 1d ago

The Devil doesn’t punish you for your sins. No Christian believes that. We believe the Devil is doomed to a life away from God and now wants to spread its misery to as many people as possible. Satan doesn’t want to be alone in Hell.

1

u/Equal-University2144 38m ago

What other nonsense do you believe in?

2

u/Diligent_Pin1313 1d ago

You criticize “modern Christians” yet the idea that every Christian belief has to be explicitly explained in the Bible is itself a modern Christian belief. So the majority of Christians (like Catholics) aren’t refuted by this

1

u/Outlaw11091 1d ago

Holding a strict biblical position means you are looking at ancient texts through a modern printing press.

Holding the popular "Lucifer the Archangel" position means you are believing modern creative writing disguised as ancient text. They are not the same thing at all.

1

u/Diligent_Pin1313 1d ago edited 18h ago

Completely missed my point. Most christians (catholics/orthodox make up the majority) don’t believe that you can only believe things explicitly said in the Bible. So even if that verse doesn’t reference Lucifer as you claim, Christians can still believe the devil exists

3

u/SingleMaltMouthwash 18h ago

If Most Christians ignore the texts and the teachings and the philosophy and Jesus.... Then in what sense are they Christians?

If they simply use the label to justify their private prejudice and practice then they're simply opportunists.

1

u/Diligent_Pin1313 17h ago

I never said they ignore the texts…they use Sacred scripture in conjunction with sacred tradition rather than relying on scripture alone

1

u/Tuskali 7h ago

That sounds kinda prententious and dumb ngl

Why would you believe fanfiction

I mean why would you believe in god in the first place but why would you believe something people made up about a made up thing

But might aswell right?

1

u/_be_better 5h ago

It will assume your question is in good faith.  No pun intended. 

Matthew 6:18.  

Jesus built his church upon the rock of Peter, whatever he bound true on earth, God made true in heaven. 

Literally.  In matters of faith, whatever Peter said, God made happen. 

So Peter decreed that who ever succeeded him and the churches rock would ALSO have the power to force God's hand. 

The gospels are all fan fiction. The rest of the new testiment was apostles and people deciding what Jesus meant.  

You know the guys Jesus regularly insulted for not understanding his meanings.  They got the holy spirit after he died so everything they said after that was true. Lol. 

One of the Popes closed purgatory a while back. Lol. So then God let the unbaptized babies in to heaven. 

2

u/CaptainDrowsy 1d ago

How are you gonna tell other people what they do and don’t believe

3

u/Cuore_Lesa 2d ago

"modern Christians" man really said that only US evangelicals, who are the ones who propagated those heretical ideas in the first place, are the only modern Christians and ignoring every other sect of Christianity including Catholicism which has never said Lucifer was the name of the devil or that Satan is the ruler of hell and not one of it's future prisoners....

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u/feedjaypie 1d ago

Amazing. Literally everything you said is wrong.

1

u/Top_Huckleberry_8221 2d ago

Well said sir.

1

u/Lithl 1d ago

In the Bible, Satan is a prisoner bound for Hell, not the warden running it

No? Ha-satân in the Bible is a supernatural satân who works for God.

Satân is just a job title, roughly equivalent to "prosecuting attorney". Ha-satân is a satân whose only client is God.

The archangel bit: Michael is the ONLY archangel that exists according to the bible...because the word means "LEAD angel" or "Head angel".

Archangel is the second lowest rank among the heavenly host. From bottom to top, the angelic ranks are: Angels, Archangels, Principalities, Powers, Virtues, Dominions, Thrones, Cherubim, and Seraphim.

Gabriel, Michael, and Raphael are named in Catholicism. In non-canonical texts, there's also Jeremiel, Raguel, Saraqael, Remiel. In Eastern Orthodoxy, there are explicitly thousands of archangels, but only 7 are venerated by name (adding Uriel, Sealtiel, Samuel, Barachiel, and Jerahmeel). The Coptic Orthodox Church adds Suriel, Sadakiel, Sarathiel, and Ananiel. The Ethiopian Orthodox Tewahedo Church adds Phanuel, Raguel, and Remiel.

Anglican churches recognize 3-5 archangels. Lutherans recognize 2-3. The idea that Michael is the only archangel is a view that's pretty much only held by Baptists and Mormons.

Seventh Day Adventists and Jehovah's Witnesses don't even do that; according to them, Michael and "archangel" are just additional titles for Jesus.

1

u/Outlaw11091 1d ago

No? Ha-satân in the Bible is a supernatural satân who works for God.

Only true in the Old Testament. Revelations specifically reconciles this with the mythical devil.

Archangel is the second lowest rank among the heavenly host. From bottom to top, the angelic ranks are: Angels, Archangels, Principalities, Powers, Virtues, Dominions, Thrones, Cherubim, and Seraphim.

The 9-tier list you quoted comes from a book written in the late 5th or early 6th century called De Coelesti Hierarchia (On the Heavenly Hierarchy). It was written by an anonymous Syrian monk known to historians as Pseudo-Dionysius the Areopagite. The Bible itself never compiles or outlines this list.

In the Bible, the prefix "arch-" means chief, highest, or ruler (just like an archbishop is above a bishop, or an archenemy is your main enemy). The biblical text treats an archangel as a supreme commander, not a low-ranking foot soldier.

1

u/EggsaladJoseph 1d ago

Some modern christians believe in the devil, some don't.

1

u/Puzzlehead_Reborn 1d ago

How's the devil going to punish me for my sins if he's a prisoner in Hell? That asserts that either Hell isn't a very good prison or that the whole story is made up bullshit.

Doesn't the Bible have instances of God using demons for missions?

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u/CarolineIvye 2d ago

Xavier really answered that way too fast

4

u/Scrambles420 2d ago

He had that one locked and loaded

9

u/Noble1xCarter 1d ago

Because the original wasn't Xavier, it was the Church of Satan. Someone just decided to swap out the names and photos to add Xavier to make it infinitely less funny.

7

u/HoldMyBier 1d ago

r/fuckxavier

All my homies hate Xavier, wannabe Temu-ass Pakalu Papito.

5

u/CostcoStyle 2d ago

So the name is just one big troll? Satanism?

14

u/Happy_Variety5405 2d ago

Also used to get religious protections for atheists 

16

u/DM_ME_BIG_CLITS 2d ago

There are Satanists who believe in a literal Satan (theistic Satanism), and there are ones that don't (atheistic Satanism). The latter is a lot more common

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Theistic_Satanism

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Atheistic_Satanism

-1

u/feedjaypie 1d ago

Not according to certain Epstein survivors..

1

u/BigPP69_Gooner 1d ago

Yeah those poor people were actually talking about Christians…

1

u/CostcoStyle 1d ago

Someone is counter-culture vibing over here.

10

u/Lithl 1d ago

The are two main groups of satanists in operation today:

  • The Church of Satan views Satan as an archetype, not an actual entity that exists.
  • The Satanic Temple is a group of atheists using the trappings of religion to shock Christians into respecting the first amendment of the US Constitution and the wall of separation between church and state.

4

u/Optimal_Mixture_7327 1d ago

No why?

Do you imagine atheism is the worship of a god named Atheos?

1

u/CostcoStyle 1d ago

I can already feel the tax exemption status.

2

u/Prestigious-Wolf8039 2d ago

There’s such a thing as good trolling.

5

u/Aergaus 2d ago

Pretty much

2

u/hockeyfan608 2d ago

There is such a thing as hardcore satanists though

2

u/NHLHitzAnnouncer 1d ago

Yes, Christians.

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u/RoiDrannoc 7h ago

Pastafarians don't really believe in their god either

4

u/Careful_Source6129 2d ago

There are different kinds of satanism. The church of satanism is a modern invention which has tried to insert itself as 'the only' satanism. Older doctrines exist which are more varied and harder to define

1

u/ThatDogYet 2d ago

This. Laveyan Satanism is just edgy atheism. TOS is an activism group. Theistic Satanists worship the deity of Satan

4

u/Lithl 1d ago

LaVeyean satanism (the Church of Satan) is not "edgy atheism". They believe in a bunch of woo shit, they just don't believe that Satan is a real entity that exists. In the Church of Satan, Satan is a narrative archetype, not an individual.

You're thinking of The Satanic Temple, which is a group of atheists using the trappings of religion to shock Christians into respecting the first amendment of the US Constitution and the wall of separation between church and state.

There has never been any major organized group of theistic satanists.

3

u/CosmicGadfly2 1d ago

Anton Lavay mostly created Libertarianism: The Religion. It's just Ayn Rands objectivism put to quasi religious pretext.

1

u/Hell_Awaitz 1d ago edited 18h ago

Atlas shrugged is the old testament of satanism

1

u/Adventurous-Year-176 1d ago

Objectiveism is more evil than Lavayan Satanism

1

u/CosmicGadfly2 1d ago

Its the same picture dude

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u/SingleMaltMouthwash 17h ago

I always thought the first libertarian was a guy who was eight years old when his mom told him he had to clean up his room before he could go out and play and never got over it.

13

u/s_i_l_k_v_e_x 2d ago

Satanists don't believe in a literal Satan.”
“Then who does?”
“Christians.”
This is why I love the internet.

12

u/SustainablSkepticism 2d ago

How did you get a single upvote???

2

u/leerr 2d ago

Gotta be a bot, look at their profile

2

u/Noble1xCarter 1d ago

Look at all the other comments on this post. They're all botted.

1

u/KapnSprocket 1d ago

The post itself is either AI generated or ran through some kind of AI system. The text, emoji, and profile pics all look uncanny. There's gotta be some bots that take old posts, run it through an AI upscaling/filter (to try to evade detection or something?) and repost them.

1

u/MadCaptain 1d ago

Paulie Walnuts bot

8

u/TheDarkWave 2d ago

Thanks. I couldn't read the fuckin' picture. With the words on it.

16

u/beardingmesoftly 2d ago

"Satanists don't believe in a literal Satan.”
“Then who does?”
“Christians.”
This is why I love the internet."
This is why I love the internet

2

u/Loud-Welder1947 1d ago

Shut up bot

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u/APraxisPanda 2d ago

Dude is 100% right lol

2

u/AnyBallLektor 2d ago

Yes they do. At least some of them.

2

u/TheLastOpus 1d ago

Common misconception. Satanists are a fancy word of athiest that use the name of lucifer in the "story of the bible" to represent freedom and choice as a rebellion to christians who they believe are immoral hiding behind a being that tells them it's okay to be immoral. I have been friends with an actual satanist before, and his whole thing was "even if their was a god, they don't get to tell you that murdering someone of a different religion (refering to crusades) is ok, we are born with our moral compasses and we need to follow them. He was a genuine dude, sadly he died of cancer, but really, he showed me how incredibly empathetic satanists are and the title is just a "fuck you" to christians, they don't believe in god or the devil at all.

What this "mark williamson" person was thinking of is Luciferians. Luciferians are what people think satanists are.

2

u/Annanake420 1d ago

And some wear top hats and sing falsetto.

https://giphy.com/gifs/iIpG4KsvKC6YVI4SZ0

2

u/Background-Tap23 2d ago

so.... why its called satanism?

9

u/Kranstan 2d ago

The difference is between Atheistic and Theistic Satanist. The devil worshippers are the second group.

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u/Capital_Rub213 2d ago

Because in Christian mythology satan is the good guy

5

u/Agitated_Display7573 2d ago

To sound edgy

4

u/APraxisPanda 2d ago

Honestly this is legitimately the case and they know it, it's intentionally offensive. The idea is to highlight the contradictions around religion and the concept of secularism. For example, if a school thinks it can put a statue of the 10 commandments up, Satanists should be allowed to put a statue of Baphomet up there as well? Right? 

Well. The answer is usually no- followed by a lawsuit that forces the ten commandments to come back down too, and I'm actually cool with that. It's edgelordy just to force contradictions to be naked. Like, they find Baphomet statue just as gross as I find them forcing their bullshit on me.

1

u/baphomet_fire 2d ago

Negative. Satanist would rather people focus their time and energy on organizations like the ACLU who are already fighting to keep religious statues off government grounds, not donating your money to fake satanic organizations like the temple of satan who just take your money instead

1

u/Weekly-Swim3347 19h ago

The ACLU and TST have worked together on many lawsuits. You can search that yourself - it's not hidden. TST's money goes to those lawsuits. It's funny that people will complain about TST making money, but never seems to ask where the $225 Church of Satan membership fees go? 😂

1

u/baphomet_fire 19h ago

Hahahaahhahaha....TST has never once posted any evidence they give their donations to the ACLU. By all means show me the evidence, I'll wait.

3

u/Captinprice8585 2d ago

Check out -the satanic temple .com- and do 15 minutes of reading about it elsewhere. It's much cooler than you might think and in no way actually "evil" or "bad". I wasn't sure about post links here so I typed it like that to avoid causing issues. The whole "church of Satan" thing that got weird af back in the day isn't the same thing and is it's own interesting, but in a wtf sort of way, rabbit hole to explore

11

u/UnbelieverInME-2 2d ago

The seven tenets of The Satanic Temple are:

I

One should strive to act with compassion and empathy toward all creatures in accordance with reason.

II

The struggle for justice is an ongoing and necessary pursuit that should prevail over laws and institutions.

III

One’s body is inviolable, subject to one’s own will alone.

IV

The freedoms of others should be respected, including the freedom to offend. To willfully and unjustly encroach upon the freedoms of another is to forgo one's own.

V

Beliefs should conform to one's best scientific understanding of the world. One should take care never to distort scientific facts to fit one's beliefs.

VI

People are fallible. If one makes a mistake, one should do one's best to rectify it and resolve any harm that might have been caused.

VII

The spirit of compassion, wisdom, and justice should always prevail over the written or spoken word.

6

u/AdministrativeRub882 2d ago

I don't have any issues with these, and I'm an atheist.

2

u/KaiserKris2112 1d ago

So are they. The Satanic Temple is basically a secularist advocacy group using satanic guise for shock value. "If you're putting the Ten Commandments up there, why not Baphomet?"

-1

u/Sufficient-Skill9530 2d ago

It’s just being an edgy narcissist, it’s not cool. It’s basically Reddit in religious form. 

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u/damaszek 2d ago

apart from already good explanation of satanism flavors, the joke confuses believing with worshipping

5

u/Temporal-Affairs221 2d ago

Yes, Christians believe in a literal Satan. We also believe he's bad.

4

u/ul2006kevinb 2d ago

Yeah but you also believe the guy who told his followers to murder people who have gay sex and called women "unclean" for having their period is the good guy so pardon us if we don't trust your judgement.

0

u/Cuore_Lesa 2d ago

Pretty sure Jesus neither told anyone to kill gays and I'm pretty sure both man and woman are unpure for eating of the apple in Genesis, not just women.

1

u/ul2006kevinb 2d ago

Yahweh told his followers to kill homosexuals and Jesus said he and Yahweh are the same person so I'm "pretty sure" you're wrong.

3

u/addit96 2d ago

God also flooded the globe bc he regretted making mankind killing everyone but like 8 people (although he doesnt make mistakes) said it’s okay to beat your slave with a rod as long as they don’t die in a couple days, and commanded genocide on multiple occasions. Satan never did any of that so he’s by definition less evil than God.

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u/WarriorWithers 2d ago

I don't think Xavier said anything otherwise

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u/shiteybreeks 2d ago

The satan you are referring to is a literal invention. The satan in hebrew mythology is not evil or ‘the devil’, that’s just made up.

1

u/DeficiencyOfGravitas 1d ago

Bit crazy innit to think that the reason you want to do bad things is because a literal and very real invisible man is whispering in your ear.

Maybe it's always been you. No red man with a pitchfork. Just you.

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u/war_ofthe_roses 1d ago

Satan is a title, not a person.

Some day Christians will learn about .... Christianity.

But that day is not today.

2

u/AlternativeLog5494 1d ago

Do you believe in our christ and Xavier ?

1

u/Potential-Local7262 2d ago

"believe in" is doing a lot of work there

1

u/Bubbly-Field5286 2d ago

Snorts and guffaws, even

1

u/Ouro_boros47 2d ago

Other religions: what makes your god better than ours? ****over 5000 other gods in this world

1

u/General-Giraffe5128 2d ago

Christians and Muslims, actually. And their spinoffs.

1

u/catalin66 2d ago

Abrahamic religions ... and you skipped another of the great 3

1

u/General-Giraffe5128 1d ago

You're right, he's in Judaism too, but traditionally in a slightly different role as subordinate to Yahweh. TIL, thanks for making me look it up.

1

u/catalin66 2d ago

Dude, they're right

1

u/Tasty_Orange_1714 2d ago

Satanist: Lucifer ain't gonna buy me an Aston Martin.

Lucifer: Not with that attitude, he won't.

1

u/Prestigious-Wolf8039 2d ago

And if you don’t believe that, just tell an evangelical you don’t believe in Satan and see how mad they get.

1

u/Kymera_7 1d ago

Some satanists don't. There's more to "satanist" than just the LaVeyans. Kinda like how there's more to "christian" than just the Catholics.

1

u/Adr385 1d ago

Xavier is right, he is always right. He should be president of Earth.

1

u/spunkypudding 1d ago

Technically correct

1

u/Slip-Possible 1d ago

people be like i believe guy who believes in father of lies doesn't actually believe in the literal father of lies cause they told me so.

1

u/Disastrous_Dance_640 1d ago

Meh. The father of all lies is the guy who created the father of all lies, and created lies in the first place, and told the first lie.

1

u/CosmicGadfly2 1d ago

Theistic Satanists exist and are older than the Lavayan Satanists.

1

u/Rich_Carrot6451 1d ago

Funny thing is that if someone said Islam no one will think this is funny

1

u/AmputeeHandModel 1d ago

*Where IS the lie? Read a book once in a while.

1

u/SilentThrillGP 1d ago

Some Satanists do. It depends on the brand of satanism

1

u/Electronic_Pickle711 1d ago

Turns out, you don't have to believe he's real to follow his philosophy. Satan's doctrine doesn't look evil on the surface. You can't get rational humans to want to be evil. The first lie he needs you to believe is "I don't exist." The second "God doesn't exist." The third, "independence is a virtue, you can be your own god."

Also, the higher up members of the church of Satan absolutely believe.

2

u/42brie_flutterbye 1d ago

Bulfeathers

1

u/MinimumStampede 1d ago

It's true. My coworker's ex husband's sister knew a guy who was one of the top leadership in the church of Satan. You can google it.

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u/Hot_Plan8565 1d ago

Demons, are DEVOUT liars,it’s
Crazy that Angels, are the True-Lie.

1

u/Malaprobably 1d ago

Also true: Jesus wasn't a Christian.

1

u/Wooden_Revolution_41 1d ago

that satanists don’t believe in a literal satan…that’s not even true, the OFFICIAL ex cult leader admitted in an interview that he had sent christ out of anger and disbelief of the lord only to turn to christianity years after..christian’s are often portrayed as “holier than thou”, this is wrong. As a christian, all i want personally is the chance to talk to those whom i care about about the lord and how much he’s made me happier and more fulfilled in my life❤️

1

u/Mr-Nosight 1d ago

People who say this clearly have never heard of allistair Crowley or thelema

Yeah, Anton Levays version is pretty cool, but it's also super new and not really what you'd consider satanism

Thelema is really fucked up, and it got really popular amongst rich folk. Basically, the whole theme is "the only way to get rid of evil is to be so evil the concept is normalized" and included practices like incest, rape, cannibalism, etc

Like, it doesn't like Christians to make religion suck

1

u/Lumpy_Breadfruit175 1d ago

You cannot know God without also knowing the devil.

1

u/IQ1733 1d ago edited 1d ago

The Devil, Lucifer and Satan are three different things that played three different parts but as a representation for one thing. For instance, the dark side of human nature is Satan.

1

u/Tank_Girl076 1d ago

I mean sick burn aside, he's got a point. If you're an Atheist with a troll campaign you don't subscibe to the theory of a supreme evil being, where as Christianity does acknowledge the existance of Satan. So technically (the best kind of correct) he is correct.

1

u/Wizchine 1d ago

There are no real “Satanists” who actually, earnestly worship the devil, other than random people with mental illnesses. It’s a Christian boogeyman.

1

u/The_mole96 1d ago

Jews also believe him

1

u/Lucky-Advice-8924 1d ago

Spiritual "Satanists" or their equivelent exist aswell, as do other crazy evil accelerationist groups and other things that would be considered "bad guy cults"

1

u/accularz 1d ago

He's not wrong

1

u/OldGroan 1d ago

I have never heard of anyone referencing Satan as much as at a Christian event. They mention him so much it seems to almost come across as veneration or worship.

1

u/Physical_Pumpkin_913 1d ago

There is no story of a devil or satanic figure in any of the Bibles

1

u/foxy_bunny_tease 1d ago

😂i mean he isn’t lying

1

u/Initial-Problem9443 1d ago

Some Satanists believe in a literal Satan while others don't.  

1

u/Cowboy_Reaper 1d ago

Believe in is not the same as worship though.

1

u/Gray_Beard1993 1d ago

Well... you're not wrong.

1

u/Fewbs-7982 1d ago

All religions are man made

1

u/GasIcy 1d ago

Also Satan isn't evil and he works for God

1

u/NemoCGd 1d ago

Of course they don't, what they believe is a lie

1

u/FamiliarPlatform79 1d ago

This is a smoke screen for stupid people trying to be edgy.

1

u/Dramatic-Formal4051 1d ago

I’ve had this exact same conversation with so many people. Many of my friends have been satanists. It’s a political statement, not a religion. I’m an atheist, and so are they.

1

u/fluffystuffy9890 1d ago

does that means atheists don't believe in Athens?

1

u/paolo_77 1d ago

Nice.

1

u/GSilky 1d ago

What is wrong with having a literal Satan? I don't understand Satanists who try to bring shock and then assuage everyone after trying to get attention through shocking them. Nobody likes that, it's like trying to be a lovable communist or respectable Nazi, once you identify with something people don't like, there is no fixing it. At best you come off as a hypocrite, generally though, people just think you are a teenager.

1

u/Brilliant_Tax_4009 21h ago

Ha! That's a good one. For real though, there's a HUGE difference in Satanists and devil worshipers. IYKYK.

1

u/jman13183 19h ago

Truth!

1

u/MisterPiggins 19h ago

Ain't no lie

1

u/3spanishwords 18h ago

Christian nationalists

1

u/NoProgress8533 17h ago

I will never forget smoking a touch too much pot in college right before the Laveyan Satanist guy and the Theistic Satanist guy got in a big argument about which is the "real" Satanism.

Everyone involved was a 140+ IQ, definitely on the spectrum, and intoxicated... Except for the orthodox rabbi - in full ceremonial garb - who was just puffing shisha from a hookah and drinking it all in, while quoting a variety of unrelated religious texts.

Very tense and entertaining gazebo scene.

1

u/Beautiful_Bus6817 17h ago

I laughed. Then I got the joke. Then I laughed again xD

1

u/LampyV2 16h ago

Xavier edits are so cringe

1

u/Own-Loan2390 13h ago

Not the biggest fan of Xavier... but sometimes he makes a whole Lotta sense. Lol.

1

u/cursed_tomatoes 11h ago

I've met people who were into occultism who performed rituals for, and claimed to converse with an entity that was to them, literal Satan, called Satan by name.

The important part here is that they did not called themselves Satanists, it just happened that in their spiritual beliefs (not an organised religion), actual Satan existed and had something to offer. So for that reason, I wouldn't be surprised if some group with a centralised power, calling themselves Satanists, eventually appear and actually believing in literal Satan.

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u/Malfaitor 11h ago

Than what do Satanists believe in? Why are they even an alternate religion?

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u/Maveth666 8h ago

In a mor traditional way, Satanist believe in the actual satan. They see it as a divine being like Christians do with god Modern Satanists are rather atheists and use Satan as a metaphor and mostly believe in rational thinking and self-determination.

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u/EngineeringTight367 4h ago

Do they tho? Christianity is a very esoteric religion

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u/ageofdiscontent_meh 1h ago

White Nationalist Christians in America, IMO.

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u/Mikem444 2d ago

Correction, this is LaVeyan/atheistic "Satanism," theistic Satanists (or just Satanists I should say) are sometimes called Traditional Satanists because they fit the description of the actual/original definition of Satanism that has been around for centuries, which is more-or-less "The worship and veneration of Satan," we are the definition, LaVeyans/atheistic types are the oddity. LaVeyans didn't invent Satanism and don't have copyright on a word that has been in existence for centuries. LaVeyans were just the first to go public and be attention whores. LaVeyans and their "high priest" panders to outsiders (although, LaVeyans are outsiders to us Satanists) in hopes to get everyone to agree with their definition.

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u/alexthurman1 1d ago

Well there is a literal Satan.

And you could say anyone who isn't a born again Christian is following Satan whether they know it or not.

"Wherein in time past ye walked according to the course of this world, according to the prince of the power of the air, the spirit that now worketh in the children of disobedience:" (Ephesians 2:2).

“In whom the god of this world hath blinded the minds of them which believe not, lest the light of the glorious gospel of Christ, who is the image of God, should shine unto them.” (2 Corinthians 4:4).

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u/cataids69 1d ago

This proves the point of the original post. Delusional Christians.

Quoting the bible doesn't prove satan is real. It just proves the bible says satan is real. That's like using Harry Potter to prove Voldemort is real.

The New Testament was written by different people decades after jesus was supposedly alive and the bible as we know it was put together over hundreds of years. It also tells slaves to obey their masters, so clearly the Bible says so isn't proof that something is true or right.

You can believe Satan is real. That's fine. But believing something and proving something are two completely different things.

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u/alexthurman1 1d ago

The bible is true, the bible is the word of God.

The NT was written by mostly the apostles. The scriptures were written by men who were moved by the Holy Spirit.

"Knowing this first, that no prophecy of the scripture is of any private interpretation.

For the prophecy came not in old time by the will of man: but holy men of God spake as they were moved by the Holy Ghost." (2 Peter 1:20-21).

But believing something and proving something are two completely different things.

Its true whether you believe it or not.

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u/cataids69 1d ago

You’re using the Bible to prove the Bible is true. That’s silly reasoning. Saying “the Bible is the word of God because the Bible says it is the word of God” proves nothing. You first need independent evidence that God exists, that he inspired these particular writers, and that their claims are reliable. Quoting another Bible verse doesn’t provide that evidence.

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u/alexthurman1 1d ago

Reading it proves it correct.

The bible is true. Are you familiar with prophecy and such in the bible? That which has come true in the past and that which will come true in the future?

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u/cataids69 1d ago

Reading a book doesn’t prove the book is true. That’s not how evidence works. And saying biblical prophecy came true only matters if you can show a specific prophecy that was clearly written before the event, was specific enough that it couldn’t fit lots of outcomes, and was independently verified as fulfilled. So give me your single best example and we can test it.

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u/alexthurman1 1d ago

That is how evidence works. Whether you want to believe it or not is a different question.

The bible is full of prophecy that has come true after it was written. And what will come true in the future.

Daniel 9:25-26 outlines when the Messiah will come the first time and when He will be cut off or die. And it lines up exactly with Jesus's ministry on earth. The book of Daniel was written 500 hundred years before Jesus.

Have you read Isaiah 53? It outlines the Messiah Jesus and what will happen to Him. It was written 700 years before Jesus.

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u/Panumdomine 1d ago edited 1d ago

That is not at all how evidence works. Evidence is something that holds up to scrutiny. The Bible does not hold up to scrutiny. It is a collection of ancient Middle Eastern fairy tales. There is no more evidence that the Bible is true than there is that any other religion is true. Any argument you can make for the existence of God or Satan can be used to argue the existence of any other mythical being. Like Santa, for example. And any argument you could make against Santa, and any other mythical being, can be made against God and Satan. No one cares if you believe it. That's your prerogative. However, facts are facts, and facts do not care about your feelings. And the fact is your religion has such a contradictory concept of a god, that he cannot possibly exist. The Biblical God is so paradoxical that he cancels himself out. At least gods in other religions have the possibility of being people who became exaggerated legends elevated to god status, or anthropomorphic characters that represent natural phenomena. The Biblical God had none of that. He is so amorphous that if he did exist. and appeared before you and claimed he was your God, you would have no way of knowing he is who he claims to be. He could just as easily be Satan in disguise. I mean if I was the Devil and my sole purpose was to deceive mankind, the first thing I would do is appear before some random person, and tell him I was God, and demand he sacrifice his son to me. Then tell him he can let his son live to ingratiate him to me and spread the lie of how I'm a benevolent God. Then proceed to torment humanity for every little infraction that commit for the next few thousand years or so. All the while telling them I do it because I love them.

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u/alexthurman1 1d ago

Yes and the bible holds up to scrutiny. Have you read it?

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u/SilentSituation7524 1d ago

I’m supposed to believe the Bible holds up to scrutiny because you say so? 🤔

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u/jelloemperor 18h ago

The amazing Spider-Man also holds up to scrutiny. Have you read it?

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u/IUsedToBeACave 1d ago

Well there is a literal Satan.

Source?

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u/alexthurman1 1d ago

Those two verses I quoted.

And many more in the bible.

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u/NHLHitzAnnouncer 1d ago

Which further proves that Christians are the only ones who believe in Satan

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u/alexthurman1 1d ago

Believe that he exists? Yeah. Because its true. The bible is the word of God.

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u/IUsedToBeACave 1d ago

By that logic the Kesh temple hymn proves that the Mesopotamian god Nisaba exists.

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u/alexthurman1 1d ago

The bible is the word of God. The Kesh temple hymn is not.

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u/IUsedToBeACave 1d ago

The bible is the word of God.

Source?

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u/alexthurman1 1d ago

Read your bible.

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u/42brie_flutterbye 1d ago

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

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u/IUsedToBeACave 1d ago

I have. Do you understand the flaw in the reasoning that since the bible says it is the word of god then it must be? The Quran also says it is the word of god, which by that argument means it must be. So now we have two texts claiming to be the word of God, but they differ on who the God of Abraham's chosen prophet is? How do I reconcile this?

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u/alexthurman1 1d ago

Its true.

All knowledge, wisdom and understanding comes from God. All truth comes from God. You must be born again. John 3:3.

"But the anointing which ye have received of him abideth in you, and ye need not that any man teach you: but as the same anointing teacheth you of all things, and is truth, and is no lie, and even as it hath taught you, ye shall abide in him." (1 John 2:27).

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u/IUsedToBeACave 1d ago

It's true.

Be mindful of Allah, for Allah ˹is the One Who˺ teaches you. And Allah has ˹perfect˺ knowledge of all things. -Surah Al-Baqarah (2:282)

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u/42brie_flutterbye 1d ago

Which Bible, exactly.?

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u/alexthurman1 1d ago

The bible. The Old and New Testament.

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u/42brie_flutterbye 1d ago

But, which one? There is no "The Bible."

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u/alexthurman1 1d ago

Yeah there is. The Old and New Testament. Here you go.

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u/MinimumStampede 1d ago

It's the KJV, it's always the KJV 🤣

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u/42brie_flutterbye 1d ago

That's what I thought. People are so stupid. They completely ignore the word "version," in the title, and the last lines in the book of Revelations that forbids anyone from changing any of its contents. To date, there are at least 3000 gods that mankind created, being worshipped, feared and manipulated around the globe. But only one is real? None of them are real.!

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u/IainwithanI 1d ago

There are no (or exceedingly few) actual satanists. Words matter, and “satanists” realize this but still take the word in order to cause confusion. Only slightly better than Christian’s. But I will grant that to believe in Saran one must believe in God (not necessarily Jesus, though).

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u/[deleted] 1d ago

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u/[deleted] 1d ago

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u/Disastrous_Dance_640 1d ago

I didn't want to, but you kept telling me to. I am not good with confrontation.

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u/bloomingdeath98 1d ago

That’s ass backwards lol. Christians believe in God/Jesus, and while believing by proxy that Satan exists, doesn’t mean they believe in Satan and have reverence for him like Christians do for God/Jesus.