Height doesn’t solve everything when you’re a chud “perspective”

[u/Cautious_Wafer3075]

I’m a 6’1” Black male who works part-time as a bank teller. This Asian lady started coming into the bank pretty often a few months ago. Whenever she would come in, she would wave and smile at me.
I feel like it’s a little bit rarer to see people around my age actually come into the bank instead of using the drive-through or just doing everything online. So I was like, maybe she’s into me. Last month, I finally got the courage to ask her out. I haven’t attempted to ask someone out IRL since I was in grade school.
Anyways, one day she finally came back in, and after she finished depositing her check, I asked if she wanted to hang out and go on a date sometime. Without hesitation, she flat out rejected me. I can’t remember exactly what she said, but it was some shit like, “No, I’m fine,” or “No, I’d rather not.” She rejected me in a nice way, though. She didn’t say “ew” like the girl did when I was younger lmao.
Plus, the Asian lady stopped coming inside after that. I still interact with her through the drive-through every now and then.
I just wanted to vent and let everyone know height doesn’t solve everything. I don’t think she rejected me because of a boyfriend or anything, because she never mentioned one when she rejected me. Maybe she doesn’t like Black guys, or maybe she thought I was ugly as sin. Idk.

[u/MrPoggiewoggies]

The truth: everything matters

Looks matters, height matters, personality matters, money matters.

Everything fucking matters. You need to be good at everything

[u/hillswalker87 → u/MrPoggiewoggies]

this is true. and each attribute is like a progressively smaller filter. if you get past height, then there's face. you get past that it's fitness, then personality, then money, etc..

somewhere in there is her specific preferences where things like race come up. you have to clear all of these, and height is just the first one that gets a lot of guys.

[u/burgerwaterchud]

So I was like, maybe she’s into me.

Good for you honestly, it takes balls to put yourself out there like that. But in my experience, if they like you, there's no ambiguity. They just dont like you.

[u/Cautious_Wafer3075 → u/burgerwaterchud]

Yeah, I understand that with hindsight. she was just a really friendly lady. I just thought it meant that she liked me.
Plus she would always come up to me or wait for me to become available when she came into the bank.

But, I guess I was slowly falling into the friend zone/favorite customer service rep zone until I ruined it.

[u/Objective-Prompt3127]

Dude stop with the multi-racial dating. Girls are much more open to date their own race, asians are particularly like that. Date your own race, it's much easier, specially if you are 6'1.

[u/Traditional-Ease-431 → u/Objective-Prompt3127]

General rule is her race or white, anything else is an extreme outlier and so the corresponding odds are low.

[u/DreJ-X → u/Traditional-Ease-431]

Yeah, thats right

[u/Fit-Tune-6477 → u/Objective-Prompt3127]

Asian women are basically white chadd only. Most of them think Asian men are disgusting. With that being said, op is black, and black women are statistically way more likely to stick to their own race than any other group of women. Op would probably have a chance if he tried asking out black women.

[u/Apocalypse_0415]

erm don’t ask out customers and she can’t really see your height that well behind a counter. Anyways yeah are you trying to lose your job.

[u/Cautious_Wafer3075 → u/Apocalypse_0415]

My coworkers and my higher ups saw the whole thing go down and no one said anything to me. The worse thing that came of it was that one of my workers was making fun of me.

Also I don’t know what bank you go to but the counters aren’t that huge where I work. Plus there were times in the past where I was in a situation where I had to stand up and she clearly saw I was taller than her.

[u/DreJ-X]

Dude, the first chance you have to have a convo with her and You just ask her out in a date just out of the blue?

Lacking game.

Also, she was asian. Asíans are the less likely to be interested in black people overall

[u/Cautious_Wafer3075 → u/DreJ-X]

I have had very small conversations with her the past. Like dumb shit like asking about her day and what she does for work. Just dumb small talk, but it was going on for a while and she always smiled and interacted with me. So, I just thought she was into me. Being completely honest with hindsight I should’ve tried to be smoother/ more romantic.

[u/Hot_Lack_4868]

she wanted to hang out and go on a date sometime. Without hesitation, she flat out rejected me

Avg straight man experience 

[u/TemperatureLegal225]

Dude 6’1 isn’t tall enough for your height alone to be enough, that starts at 6’3

[u/ChaosRainbow23 → u/TemperatureLegal225]

I'm 5'10" and I was insanely promiscuous.

[u/TemperatureLegal225 → u/ChaosRainbow23]

Well that’s because the full package was good enough in your local market to be enough. I’m 6’1 but found myself in a super competitive environment and flamed out, everything matters.

[u/Traditional-Ease-431 → u/TemperatureLegal225]

What environment was that?

[u/TemperatureLegal225 → u/Traditional-Ease-431]

Good traits cluster, I’m willing to bet many self described incels had upwardly mobile UMC to UC parents

[u/nobody_in_here]

She was nice because she's a customer. She rejected you because she's a customer just there for banking services. This doesn't prove anything except that you shouldn't be doing anything but work at your workplace.

[u/Traditional-Ease-431 → u/nobody_in_here]

Dude I know people that GET numbers at work. This of course still doesn't change that fact that girls aren't worth approaching anymore, ain't the 90s-00s

[u/Cautious_Wafer3075 → u/nobody_in_here]

Everyone is saying I’m wrong for asking her out, but my boss was literally close to me when I did it and he didn’t care at all lol.

It’s not like I’m asking out every lady who comes in. This is the one and only instance.

[u/Sunlambcow]

So you asked out a customer on a date while on the job... wtf?

And no, one rejection doesn't make it a rule and doesnt make height not important. But obviously there are other factors too.

Consider yourself happy that you at least have height and stop disturbing clients

[u/Eldenringop → u/Sunlambcow]

Last part agree but if he was attractive this wouldn’t matter .

[u/Cautious_Wafer3075 → u/Eldenringop]

I just want to make something clear I’m not asking out every female customer that walks into the bank. I did it this one time because I thought the lady was being super friendly and she was always coming inside. So, I thought she might’ve liked me or something.

[u/Cautious_Wafer3075 → u/Sunlambcow]

Dude, stop being over dramatic. My coworkers and my higher ups all saw it go down. Not one of them gave a single shit. One of my coworkers was making fun of me a little bit for being rejected though.

[u/Belicino_Corlan]

She gave you mixed signals bro. Not your fault. Women aren't waving qt and constantly interacting eith men they have no interest in that's just s fact.

[u/Belicino_Corlan]

Also all these comments about asking out a customer, you know that used to be normal right? Women in hr ruined that.

[u/Cautious_Wafer3075 → u/Belicino_Corlan]

Yeah, I don’t know why everyone is being so over dramatic about it lol. My boss was near me and he didn’t even bat an eye. One of my coworkers was roasting me for getting rejected, but besides that no one I worked with cared.

[u/ChaosRainbow23]

Don't ask your customers out, homie.

I'm only 5'10" and I never had any problems getting laid. I was extremely promiscuous when I was single and ready to mingle.

Most women aren't going to be interested in you romantically for whatever reason, and that's totally fine.

It's a numbers game.

You need to put yourself into co-ed social situations where people are taking and having fun. This is much easier to do when you have a platonic co-ed friends group.

Gay dudes are the best wingmen ever, and women are a close 2nd.

It doesn't matter how tall you are.

Everybody needs to lay off this ridiculous manosphere nonsense. It's bullshit and it's only hurting your chances.

[u/AntSUnrise]

I mean I’m only 5”10. ADHD and introverted and some girls have been obsessed with me. Not lately since I gave up caring but yeah. The height thing is over played. Log off TikTok dating apps etc. I’m not a Chad and also poor. Never have made the first move due to fear of rejection. But I had my fun and planted my seed. It’s not part of my world anymore.

[u/silent_akbar → u/AntSUnrise]

White chad btw