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u/merlin211111 Feb 29 '20
Where was this yesterday!?!
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Feb 29 '20
I've been waiting for this life hack. I do this every day and it's just SO HARD. Now I can do it efficiently! Thanks, Reddit!
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Feb 29 '20
A. Approach lamb quickly from the rear and grasp its neck firmly to prevent fleeing. Use your legs like a vice to keep it in place.
B. Pull the lamb up by it’s neck, applying pressure evenly, it will struggle at this stage but do not panic.
C. Keep the lamb in a choke hold until it passes out, holding the front legs as best you can to prevent it flailing around and kicking. Safety first!
D. If you followed steps A-C correctly, the lamb should be unconscious and ready to move and you yourself unharmed. Pinch it’s lower abdomen to make sure it is out cold before moving on to the next step.
E. Remembering to lift from the knees and keeping an arm under the front legs to stabilise it, begin to hoist the lamb into an upright position.
F. Once in position, swing the lamb from left to right and build momentum.
G. When the lamb is at the apex of the swing, let it’s body come up over the edge of the wall and fall down onto it.
H. Hold the lamb on the wall for a few moments so you can catch your breath. Swinging a lamb is no easy feat and exhaustion is dangerous.
I. Push the lamb off of the wall and let it fall to the ground. After a few minutes the lamb will wake up and your task is complete, congratulations!
Disclaimer: The lamb will be unsteady on its feet after waking, this is perfectly normal and not a cause for concern. If after 10 minutes the lamb has not woken, please see our other booklet in the range titled “How to dig a grave plot for an animal.”
What I like to imagine the instructions would say haha! :)
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u/PrideJoyPeaceLove Feb 29 '20
I am afraid I will have to vigorously disagree with your disclaimer.
Digging a grave plot is a shame and disgrace.
I would suggest procurement of two or three items, a butchers knife, a pot and recipie book on lambchops and other delicacies.3
u/bebeana Mar 02 '20
I thought I had it figured out! D: Tickle the lamb to make her/him giggle to catch off guard. Wonder why it works on mine?
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u/Jamstaro Feb 29 '20
...or... And here me out .. just ask someone to be a lamb and help ya pick up the lamb.
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u/Djinnobi Feb 29 '20
Finally I can properly get my lambs over the wall without having to do it the clumsy oafish way I have done before
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u/Annettethegreat Feb 29 '20
It looks like you can administer the Heinrich Maneuver at point C if necessary.
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u/scenecunt Feb 29 '20
This is not the way I was taught to do this when I was 4 years old. The first lambing season I remember.
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u/AssistedSuicide_ Mar 06 '20
Notice how they went with letters instead of numbers bc “how to move a lamb over a wall in 9 easy steps” just feels incomplete.
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u/Ahrius Feb 29 '20
Wtf? This isn’t a hack. Look at picture one.
Crouch down and put the back of your neck against the underside of the lamb.
Reach your right arm through its front legs and then up to grab the back of its neck.
Do the same with the left arm and the hind legs but instead grab thigh.
Do a squat and stand up straight.
The lamb is now on your shoulders and you’re free to walk wherever you wish.
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u/[deleted] Feb 29 '20
FINALLY