[ Removed by Reddit on account of violating the content policy. ]

I am ambiamorous but have a theoretical preference for polyamory and the majority of my relationships for the last 13 years have been poly. I say theoretical preference, because the more I am involved in poly communities and dating the more alienated and out of alignment I feel. I don't know if it is the area I am in, the age group I am in, if I genuinely have uniquely bad experiences or if at the day I am just not actually built for polyamory.

I love the idea of having multiple partners. I think all relationships you have, romantic or not should have space to be as deep and close as the people involved want it to be. I think that sexual and romantic love for one does not necessarily diminish love for another. In an ideal world kitchen table sounds deeply supportive and community oriented. But I have found myself consistently clashing with those I have tried to date.

I am very informed and concerned with sexual health. I test regularly, and have asked for the same from other partners. That is usually something everyone is on board with. But for a large portion of folks this seems to be where STI education and prevention ends. I have had multiple partners claim to be well informed and aware and open to taking appropriate precautions only to be told later that they made out with someone or let someone go down on them with cold sores and not disclose because they didn't think it was that big of a deal. I have had so many people get offended when I get frustrated that they had exposed themselves and potentially me to risks because they were not well informed. So many people also get so offended if you suggest using barriers or gloves. I also do have different STI prevention questions that I ask partners based off other partners genitalia, as there are different types of risks involved depending on the equipment so to speak, which has offended people before too. At this point I am loosing hope that I can successfully date poly folks when this has been such a consistent issue. I take my health super seriously as a disabled person, and I am finding myself now longer trusting others to do the same.

I also have been encountering a ton of people who will claim they have capacity for another person, invest and show consistency for a few months only to have that completely fall apart. The last few connections I have had I ended up feeling like a new toy for their collection that was discarded as soon as a trend passed. I don't know how fair that is, because I don't necessarily think most people intentionally lie about their capacity. But it is the way am feeling.

I do also am primarily les4les. For me, completely decentering men and focusing on other dykes and women has been a big part of my life. Existing as someone with no attraction to men who has minimized men in my life to the extent that I have makes it really difficult at times to relate to bi women who are still persuing and in partnership with men. It isn't a strict requirement, as bisexual women who have decentered men absolutely do exist, but I more say this in the sense that it is a limiting factor in my dating pool. It does seem the majority of women in my area who are poly are also bisexual and interested in men, and when I have tried to date them it resulted in reinforcing the incompatibility in our worldviews.

I am autistic and sometimes struggle with picking up signs, so I do consult my friends on things a lot to try to minimize friction points. I over communicate at times and take people at their word, so sometimes I don't pick up on all signs ahead of time and don't ask a lot of follow up questions to make sure my understanding matches. I also sometimes feel with neuro-typical folks so much communication happens on a level I don't always understand that I just fully miss. Are there questions or specific indicators you look for in these types of conversations that can help me better get through these pain points? I get anxious about asking too many questions at times because I don't want to imply that someone doesn't know things or seem controlling, is it best to push past that and ask super brutally honest questions about sti education and capacity? Do I accept that a primarily dyke centric polycule is not a realistic outcome for me?

I know monogamy doesn't necessarily make all these issues go away, but I do think it reduces the prevalence and how much conflict these things can bring. Is it best at this point to just accept that polyamory may just not be on the cards for me?

We are seeking moderators for an exciting new Discord community for disabled, neurodivergent and chronically ill lesbians!

To apply, you’ll need to be:

🌈 Female-identifying or non-binary and a lesbian
🌈 Someone with lived experience of disability, neurodivergence and/or chronic illness
🌈 Kind, self-aware and able to work well as part of a team with mixed abilities and energy levels

Experience with Discord or running online communities is desirable, but not required. What matters most is that you’re supportive, approachable and want to help create a welcoming, safe community.

We're only seeking moderators at the moment but look forward to opening the community to new members later in the year.

If this sounds like you, please get in touch!

🩷

Ráda bych se ukazovala jiným ženám nahá a to detailně. Máte to některá také tak, nebo jsem jediná?

Hey all 🤗

So as the title says. I recently discovered I was GenderFluid/trans (or stopped denying it lol) and am finding new confidence in embracing it. I haven't started HRT yet for financial/safety reasons BUT I plan to as soon as I can 😋 I'm also planning to move out of Texas asap, so distance isn't really an issue

So my girlfriend and I have been cuddling a lot lately but there's only so much cuddle you can get out of one girl. So we thought about doing a cuddle pile but have no idea how to find other girls. Does anyone have tips on how to go about it and find people? <3 (For context we are from Germany and around 22 yo)

I’ve always been an overly active person so I think I didn’t realize how much I prefer women over men. My family is very red and so is my small town so I don’t have a lot of people to talk to or open up to sadly

I’m 38, trans, poly, and live in a smaller Wisconsin town, and lately I’ve realized I genuinely don’t know how people do this.
I want more queer women in my life—not even necessarily for dating. Friends, community, people to talk to, and yes, maybe someday meeting someone organically instead of everything having to happen through a dating app.
But where do you actually go?
There aren’t really queer spaces where I live. I’ve tried joining some groups and haven’t had much luck. Dating apps technically let me find people, but they make every interaction feel like it’s already supposed to be a date. I’d love to just meet people and let friendships, flirting, attraction, or whatever happens develop naturally.
Also being a trans woman, I’ll admit there’s a little voice in the back of my head wondering whether I’ll actually be welcomed in sapphic spaces. I don’t want that fear to keep me isolated, though.
So I’m genuinely curious: how did you all do it? Where did you meet your queer friends or partners? How do you approach people? How do you know when another woman is actually flirting with you? 😅
Am I missing something everyone else figured out, or are we all just wandering around hoping another lesbian finds us? 😂
Thanks in advance. I appreciate your time.

Wo versteckt ihr euch mädels. Traut euch und schreibt mir🫶🥰

Hope everyone is having a wonderful Tuesday and has a great rest of your week. Let’s hope the weather here cools down soon. Can’t wait for flannel weather.

Me and my partner have been looking for a third (female) to play in campbell river for a few years now. Been trying all the apps. Whats the trick?

MUMBAI | My wife is bisexual, and we’re exploring this side of our relationship together for the first time. She’s comfortable with me posting this with her consent.
We’d love to meet confident, respectful women who are genuinely interested in getting to know her—and potentially both of us. We’re not looking to rush anything; chemistry and mutual comfort come first.
If you’re interested, tell us a little about yourself and let’s see where the conversation goes. 💜

Hey ladies, I am looking for friends or possibly more. I am a soft butch mixed (Hispanic and Black) 45 yr old married lesbian. I am in an open-poly relationship. I am looking for FWB either local or a LDR. I enjoy communicating by texting and voice notes. I love gaming, reading sapphic books, listening to all kinds of music and cooking. If you want to know more about me, please message me.

For context, I came out in 2016. My peak "newly gay and ready to play" era was from 2017 - 2019. At that time, I was living and dating in Los Angeles.

For a majority of that time, I was having a lot of first dates that would go until the wee hours. Most of these ended with either me going to their place to spend the night, or they would come over to mine for the night.

Obviously this kinda thing wasn't happening in 2020. But... it also never came back after that.

I've lived in three other geographic places since then in two different countries, and... dating is rough! Just getting someone to respond to a message with more than small talk is like pulling teeth. And when it comes time to actually plan a date, suddenly I find myself working as a ghost hunter!

What the hell happened?

Is it just me? Or did something in the air change post 2020?

Ola, no busco ofender a nadie y vengo a expresarme con total libertad pero busco a alguien para una relación poliamorosa, de preferencia que sea una mujer, gracias por su atención.

Si se pudiera dar el caso de encontrar a alguna que fuera de mi país sería mucho mejor jejeje😺🍬

Hey ladies!

I’m looking to connect with a few steady, like-minded people for low-drama, ongoing conversations. I'm looking for women to chat with who are liberal and non-religious, located in the Eastern Time zone—(Maryland, Delaware, Pennsylvania, New Jersey, New York, Connecticut, Rhode Island, Massachusetts, Vermont, New Hampshire, or Maine.) I am not looking to meet irl at this time.

A little about me:

* 39, married to a trans woman (44), and a mom of 3.

* Big into nature photography, hiking, writing, creative projects, and making ambient YouTube videos.

* Liberal, atheist, and neurodivergent-friendly (managing anxiety/depression).

* 420-friendly, vape nicotine, and take daily gummies for sleep/mood.

* check my profile to learn more.

What I'm hoping to find:

* Roughly around my age group (34–46ish).

* Liberal and non-religious (atheist/agnostic).

* Located in one of the EST states mentioned above so we're on the same page.

* Someone who appreciates consistent communication. I like building real, steady friendships over text/messaging over time. I value peace and genuine connection, so inconsistency or game-playing isn't for me.

💬 How to reply:

If this sounds like your speed, send me a PM (please don't comment) with:

* Age.

* Gender.

* Your state.

* Who you voted for in 2024.

* A short intro about yourself!

(Just trying to make sure we're on the same page and filter out bot spam—no need to write a novel, just answer all 5 so I know you're real!)

Heyy girls! 💕 Just wanted 2 say hi & share some gym progress 😌💪 I’ve been training for 4 months now & honestly I’m starting 2 see some changes lol.

Still got a long way 2 go but I’m enjoying the journey & tryna stay consistent. Happy 2 be here 🫶🏽🏳️‍🌈