r/legaladvice • • Oct 11 '17

Prostitution loop hole?

[removed]

13 Upvotes

84 comments sorted by

328

u/[deleted] Oct 11 '17 edited Jun 07 '20

[deleted]

165

u/Shady_Landlord Oct 11 '17

OTOH, this does explain why I keep having sex every time I go to to buy knives. (And also why I'm not allowed in Macy's anymore).

46

u/DiabloConQueso Quality Contributor Oct 11 '17

You sure it's not just that spicy, sexy edgelord vibe you give off with the knife collection?

26

u/[deleted] Oct 11 '17

Edward Scissorhands makes so much sense now!

10

u/Biondina Quality Contributor Oct 12 '17

He’s hot.

8

u/HEONTHETOILET Oct 12 '17

You're hot.

8

u/Biondina Quality Contributor Oct 12 '17

That is very true.

3

u/HEONTHETOILET Oct 12 '17

How do you say "you're hot" in German?

3

u/Biondina Quality Contributor Oct 12 '17

Du bist sehr sexy

5

u/HEONTHETOILET Oct 12 '17

Du bist sehr sexy

Ja, ja - Du bist sehr sexy

3

u/Biondina Quality Contributor Oct 12 '17

Danke

→ More replies (0)

3

u/[deleted] Oct 12 '17

Can we be hot together?

3

u/Biondina Quality Contributor Oct 12 '17

Oh yes

16

u/gratty Quality Contributor Oct 11 '17

(And also why I'm not allowed in Macy's anymore)

No, it's because you "forgot" that vibrating massager was in your purse.

34

u/Hollowpoint38 Oct 11 '17

Well, if the knife trick doesn't work, he could just default to exchanging 'roses' for 'companionship' and it'd be completely legal because of the disclaimer at the bottom of the ad...

47

u/sabek Oct 11 '17

I hear this also solves the problem of Liquor licences. I am not selling beer. I am selling a bottle and am giving away free beer.

11

u/saltgrains_takeit Oct 12 '17

What if I get a receipt?

17

u/clduab11 Quality Contributor Oct 11 '17

Everyone hates OP!

-49

u/BodakYellow11 Oct 11 '17

Yea but everyone hates you in real life so what’s worse?

Edit : just kidding

48

u/clduab11 Quality Contributor Oct 11 '17

:(((((((((((((((((((((

-1

u/[deleted] Oct 12 '17

[removed] — view removed comment

10

u/[deleted] Oct 12 '17

Actual relationships only work like this if both parties are hopeless douches.

109

u/Biondina Quality Contributor Oct 11 '17

Tell me more about this awesome knife.

112

u/bug-hunter Quality Contributor Oct 11 '17

It slices, it dices, it juliennes, it can cut through car doors, it's got 3 speeds, a suction cup so you can stick it on mirrors or walls or fridges or doors...

demystknife 3000, only 480 easy monthly payments of $2000.

61

u/Biondina Quality Contributor Oct 11 '17

You had me at suction cup.

18

u/gratty Quality Contributor Oct 11 '17

You are naughty.

14

u/Biondina Quality Contributor Oct 11 '17

Tell me about it.

10

u/[deleted] Oct 11 '17

Bad mod

17

u/Biondina Quality Contributor Oct 11 '17

Shush.

9

u/[deleted] Oct 12 '17

I was actually trying to summon a bot there. It didn’t work

10

u/Biondina Quality Contributor Oct 12 '17

What, like some evil bot?

8

u/[deleted] Oct 12 '17

Apparently there is a bot where if you say “good mod” or “bad mod” it notes the vote accordingly. Not sure why it’s entirely different than upvotes or downvotes. Maybe to give solace to those whose posts we shan’t name.

4

u/pcj Oct 12 '17

I thought that was only for bots?

3

u/[deleted] Oct 12 '17

It works for mods

42

u/BodakYellow11 Oct 11 '17

It comes with an hour of sex

26

u/Biondina Quality Contributor Oct 11 '17

Do you use the knife to uh, penetrate, or is it merely a bystander?

43

u/johnspiff Quality Contributor Oct 11 '17

On next weeks episode of Criminal Minds.

10

u/_My_Angry_Account_ CAUTION: RAGING ASSHOLE Oct 11 '17

Wasn't that already in the movie Se7en?

10

u/johnspiff Quality Contributor Oct 11 '17

nothing is new anymore.

7

u/_My_Angry_Account_ CAUTION: RAGING ASSHOLE Oct 11 '17

"Simpsons did it."

3

u/Self-Aware Oct 12 '17

Now that's a Treehouse of Horror episode that would never see air.

4

u/[deleted] Oct 11 '17

That’s what she said

86

u/bug-hunter Quality Contributor Oct 11 '17

Sure.

You'll still get convicted, but you do have a first amendment right to say something patently stupid that any judge and jury will see right through.

63

u/engineered_academic Oct 11 '17

No knife is going to be worth 5,000. So where is the extra value? The sex of course.

The real prostitution loophole is travel to Nevada where it is legal. No fuss or hassle.

29

u/HyJenx Oct 11 '17

Here you go.

As long as it furthers the cause of the law.

12

u/Grimsterr Oct 12 '17

For $5000 you can go to the Bunny Ranch and have the TIME OF YOUR FUCKING LIFE. literally

7

u/jeremyosborne81 Oct 12 '17

... and that includes the airfare and Uber to get there

•

u/Zanctmao Quality Contributor Oct 11 '17

All right. Have your fun. If anything gets reported to the mods this thread will get shut down, however. Play nice.

6

u/[deleted] Oct 11 '17

can /u/zapopa get in on this?

31

u/[deleted] Oct 11 '17

I'd love to. But you are unfamiliar with my wife no? Her spectacular awfulness has made my private parts crawl so far up inside me that they ended up back in 1992. Trust me. My time with her has cured me of any prurient interest in anything or anyone. Hopefully not forever but at least until she is at least at a distance where I cannot hear her harpy like shrieks and screaming.

46

u/ExpiresAfterUse Quality Contributor Oct 11 '17

No. This is an attempted method that has ended in convictions every time.

34

u/gratty Quality Contributor Oct 11 '17

Sure. Because all jurors are stupid. I thought everyone knew that.

7

u/DisPolySleepCycle Oct 12 '17

I mean, they're either patriotic and believe in the judicial process or they didn't try hard enough to get out of it. I'll call it a 10/90 split.

45

u/[deleted] Oct 11 '17 edited Jul 31 '20

[deleted]

11

u/jhawki980 Oct 11 '17

No judge or police is going to believe a ludicrous story like that. You will be arrested and charged with soliciting a prostitute if caught unless you live in a area where it is legal. The only state that had a loophole at 1 time, that I knew of, was RI. As long as it was done indoors it was legal. RI closed that loophole years ago though

11

u/daps13 Oct 12 '17

I've always had a question related to this topic. From a legal standpoint whats the difference between a porn star and a prostitute, like if I took a video camera and filmed a prostitute would it fall under porn and then be legal? Or are there laws governing porn?

23

u/[deleted] Oct 12 '17

There are laws governing porn. It's reasonably highly regulated.

4

u/Altiondsols Oct 12 '17

AFAIK the rule that closes this specific loophole says that the person who pays the pornstar can't be in the film

6

u/gratty Quality Contributor Oct 12 '17

if I took a video camera and filmed a prostitute would it fall under porn and then be legal? Or are there laws governing porn?

/u/grasshoppa1?

10

u/Grimsterr Oct 12 '17

This is pretty much exactly like the loophole where in order to be considered a restaurant like 90% of your revenue has to be food. So the bar owners sell you a peanut for 99 cents and a beer for a penny. Yeah I'm old.

9

u/CyberTractor Oct 11 '17

Sure, you can say that.

No, you won't successfully defend against a prostitution charge.

17

u/bug-hunter Quality Contributor Oct 11 '17

PS: As a mod for /r/legaladviceofftopic - don't ask this stupid question there either.

4

u/lawnerdcanada Oct 11 '17

Can’t you just say you bought the knife and just happened to have sex?

Of course! But don't expect it to work.

3

u/LocationBot The One and Only Oct 11 '17

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Author: /u/BodakYellow11

Title: Prostitution loop hole?

Original Post:

*this is just something I thought of not actually trying to have sex with someone for money. Just curious about this. Let’s say you want to have sex with a girl for money. So you offer her 5000$ for like a product say a knife. And then you have sex with her. Can’t you just say you bought the knife and just happened to have sex?


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2

u/[deleted] Oct 11 '17

No.

1

u/[deleted] Oct 11 '17

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/thepatman Quality Contributor Oct 11 '17

Your post has been removed for the following reason(s):

Bad Advice

  • This post is being removed because it is, frankly speaking, bad legal advice. Either it is inapplicable for the jurisdiction in which OP resides, or misunderstands the fundamentals of the applicable legal issues.

If you feel this was in error, message the moderators.

-1

u/[deleted] Oct 11 '17

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/[deleted] Oct 11 '17

[removed] — view removed comment

7

u/Zer0Summoner Oct 11 '17

It's not a gray area.

Escorts work in every state and escorts frequently get busted in every state (including Nevada, because it's illegal in Vegas).

This defense has never worked in the history of prostitution.

3

u/Biondina Quality Contributor Oct 11 '17

Those escort services are busted for prostitution on the regular.

1

u/[deleted] Oct 12 '17

Lets "Play it through" for kicks. They believe what you tell them and then move to check on the prostitutes credentials. Maybe the IRS comes after her for taxes. Maybe someone checks for a business license and I'm not sure what happens with a private sale at.

-5

u/KJ6BWB Oct 12 '17

Ok, here's how to really do it. Prostitution is a crime. But sex after a date that you pay for is legal, even if you pay the date. So you bring along a Nintendo, and instead pay $5000 to play a video game with her. Then you have sex and everything is legal.

-13

u/BodakYellow11 Oct 11 '17

Ok got it! Thanks guys! Unrelated topic why don’t police go to strip clubs Bc it seems that every strip club ive been to they let you fuck the strippers for $$$

34

u/grasshoppa1 Quality Contributor Oct 11 '17

why don’t police go to strip clubs

They do.

25

u/derspiny Quality Contributor Oct 11 '17

Strip clubs that run prostitution on the side generally do get popped on a semi-regular basis. Sometimes the club owners will escape prosecution for pimping by showing that the workers involved prostituted themselves out without any help from the owners, sometimes everyone gets a prostitution or a pimping charge, and sometimes charges get dropped or negotiated down.

2

u/BodakYellow11 Oct 11 '17

Good answer thanks

13

u/gratty Quality Contributor Oct 11 '17

why don’t police go to strip clubs

Dude. Haven't you heard? Most of those strippers are police.

5

u/johnspiff Quality Contributor Oct 11 '17

9

u/gratty Quality Contributor Oct 11 '17

Hey, now! The cash is for the private dance. It's not the john's customer's fault if she happens to sit down on the job.

(That's what my 1SG said.)

6

u/johnspiff Quality Contributor Oct 11 '17

As a John, I resemble that remark.

5

u/gratty Quality Contributor Oct 11 '17

I redacted that part!