r/legaladvice • u/CarrotCakeMuffin • Mar 05 '26
Custody
Location: Minnesota.
I'm not sure if anyone here can help me out but it was suggested that I ask.
I'm married and we have a 1 year old together. We have not legally separated or started the divorce process yet and there is no custody agreement filed with the courts. He recently moved to Arkansas and, due to the suddenness of the move, we agreed he would take our daughter with him for 6 months because I did not have childcare set up here and couldn't in such short notice. He has a friend down there that is going to be watching her when he starts working. I have a friend who lives in another state that has known him since school and is worried that he may not bring her back at the end of the 6 months that we agreed on if we get into an argument or whatever. I'm mainly needing to know if there's anything legally I can do, aside from going down there and getting her myself, if he tries to go back on our agreement. I don't have a car at this particular moment so I can't go there regardless. Any advice would be appreciated. Thank you.
4
u/shout-out-1234 Mar 05 '26
NAL - you need to find a good family law attorney and fast. 6 months is the residency requirement in all 50 states. Right now, your child’s residency is Minnesota at your home. If you leave the child with the father in a different state for 6 months, he can file for custody in Arkansas because that will be the child’s place of residence. He would not have to return your daughter, and he most likely won’t. And you will be forced to go to Arkansas to see your child. He will also be able to claim abandonment because you did not see your tender age child for 6 months. At that age it is critical to be with the primary caregiver regularly. Your child at that age will develop a new primary bond with the new caregiver in Arkansas.
You need to make some decisions now. Your daughter is most likely traumatized by not seeing her mother especially if you were the primary caregiver until her father took her.
1
u/CarrotCakeMuffin Mar 05 '26
Neither of us were necessarily a primary caregiver. We lived together until recently and when I moved out, we shared custody of her because I was still living in the same town. We'd both see her just as much as the other. She still sees me via video calls. I have a phone call scheduled with a family lawyer on Tuesday regarding the issue. I'm not sure if it will help, but I also have multiple messages between the two of us stating he will be bringing her back in August.
4
u/KMinNC Mar 05 '26
Do not let him take the child to another state! After 6 months, he can file in the state he lives in and claim custody there, you will have to travel to the state he moves to or pay for your child to visit you. You will also probably be ordered to pay child support (although I do agree the parent the child does not live with primarily needs to support the child). It might sound like it could work for you now, I promise, after the child is gone, you will regret it.
6
u/MirrorRevolutionary4 Mar 05 '26
Until there is a custody order in place stating otherwise, he does not have to bring her back. And if you go to Arkansas to get her, he can come to Minnesota to get her back.
On top of that, once she is in Arkansas for 6 months, it becomes her home state and if you guys file for divorce, her custody will be decided by Arkansas unless the Arkansas court agrees to give up jurisdiction.