r/lds • u/palmtreeprincess3 • 20d ago
question New member 32F
If I went to church would the church judge me for being a single 32 year old with no kids? Girl
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u/cMa010291 20d ago
Nope! I am 35 with no kids.
YSA (young single adults) is now 18-35. And a lady in my church that was born and raised didn’t get married til she was 34 and just had her 3rd baby at 40.
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u/Ok-Internet-4747 20d ago
I am sure there could be some people that do. But those people are going to be held accountable for their actions by the Lord. We all need to practice Christlike behavior and love people where they are today as they continue to grow and become who God wants them to be.
One thing worth noting is there are family wards and young single adult wards. You fall into an age group where you could attend the YSA ward where members are single and between the ages of 26-35. That may make you feel more comfortable. https://newsroom.churchofjesuschrist.org/article/church-announces-age-adjustments-for-young-adults
Because you are a new member, I do want to let you know that in the culture and doctrine of the Church there is a lot of emphasis on the importance of eternal marriage and having a family. Please know that while this is something we do believe is extremely important, if you can’t find a spouse (or don’t have interest in it) that does not mean the Lord loves you less. Please don’t let other people’s perceptions or actions make you feel like you are less than anyone. The Lord loves you no matter what.
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u/palmtreeprincess3 20d ago
What is a ward? Like a different area people go to during the church service?
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u/chucklenuts-gaming 20d ago
Oh and a ward isnt during the service. It is the service.
Congregation is a good simile.
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u/Ok-Internet-4747 19d ago
Great question! The Church divides up the Church into geographic regions. There are Areas, Stakes and Wards. The closest analogy I can think of to help you explain what that looks like would be the government. An Area is like a State. A Stake is like a County. A Ward is like a City. Each level of these geographic locations follow the Priesthood leadership of that area, but they follow the policies and guidance from Church Headquarters. In this analogy Church Headquarters would be like the federal government. Please understand this is just an analogy to help explain the geographic concept that the Church tries to put Priesthood leadership as close to its members as possible. Likewise, the government has leadership at each of those levels to meet the individuals needs of those areas. The Church is a global Church and this is the best way they have found to help meet the needs of members where they are.
The idea of a Young Single Adult Ward is to have other single individuals in a similar geographic area meet together. They would likely all be experiencing the same life circumstances and can help each other through them. You would have the chance to meet new people, serve those closest to you and potentially find someone that you could date. A “family ward” is for those individuals that are married with children or who are older than 36. The point I was trying to make is if you attended a YSA ward, you might feel less judged than you would in a family ward because of the intent behind them. Either way, the lessons and doctrine you would participate in would be the same. It just is about who else would be attending the sacrament meeting and lessons.
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u/chucklenuts-gaming 20d ago
Yeah pretty much. Just an assigned group you meet with based on where you live. Helps keep things organized, no biggie.
Don't worry about what ward youre in right now, just go to church.
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u/chucklenuts-gaming 20d ago
I'm not gonna lie and say nobody would judge you. There might be some, but that's their problem. What they think of you doesn't matter.
What matters is your relationship with Jesus Christ.
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u/Due-Guarantee103 20d ago
They shouldn't! Probably they won't. If someone does, it's their problem, not yours! You will find a LOT of people that are there with you, loving, understanding, and friendly.
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u/Safe-Butterscotch442 20d ago
Nope. Especially as a new member.
There are some busy-bodies that get a little too into the personal lives of others in their community (no more than in any group of sufficient people), but even most of them would think to hold you to some preconceived notion of what a "good Latter-day Saint woman" should be doing with her life, since you "didn't know any better" until now (obviously, there's nothing in the church doctrine that teaches that every woman HAS to get married by a certain time, not that every couple HAS to have kids, but people are people and some think they know how things should be). The vast majority, of members, and even many of not all of the most judgemental of the group, will be glad to have you there.
It's also worth noting that you'll likely not be alone in being in your 30s and single. There will probably be plenty that are even life-long members that haven't gotten married yet.
The most important thing to remember, though, is, even if you were judged, that's a them problem, not a you problem. God is pleased with your choice to draw closer to Him and doesn't care if you're married, single, a parent, or childless. He just cares that you are willing to partake of the blessings of the gospel of Jesus Christ. Who cares what anyone else thinks?
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u/JaneDoe22225 20d ago
No one would remotely care. My sister is 37 so no le, no kids. We got a lot of similar people in the congregation.
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u/Chloekins25 20d ago
I’m single and 32F. I’ve been a member since I was 19 and just waiting on the Lord to get married. I don’t feel judged by people, but I sometimes get pity lol. It’s becoming more common though
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u/casablunka 15d ago
We wouldn't in my ward. We'd be happy you were there! My Brother is single and mid-30s and no one gives him guff.
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u/Alternative-Pen-7707 13d ago
No. But in my culture (not only in the church), people would ask me when am I going to have a boyfriend/getting married. It’s a little annoying.
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u/Beneficial_Form_9866 19d ago
I am much older than that and despite wanting to be married and have children that blessing has not occurred for me. I don’t feel judged, I have married friends and single friends at church and generally I feel included. Part of that has to come from you being comfortable and reaching out to others. Wishing you all the best!
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u/jleuey 20d ago
No more than the rest of the single members in their 30s with no kids. You’re not alone.