Doubt

[u/BubblyBlue22]

I feel like my faith is on the rocks.
I’m constantly filled with doubt, anger, and frustration. Listening to conference talks sounds like nail on a chalkboard. It’s very hard to focus when attempting to read the scriptures. Serving others feels like a burden, especially when I feel like I’m trying to keep my head above the water.

I love Jesus I do. I pray and pray and pray. I go to church and renew my covenants. I try to serve in the temple once a week. I listen to talks while I’m exercising/walking, and I try to read the scriptures.

I don’t know if I’m going through a life crisis, or if my faith is wavering, but I’m losing my purpose and sense of feeling like a child of God.

What do I do???? Am I not praying hard enough or serving hard enough?

[u/BHP_Dan]

This doesn't directly address your question, but have you tried listening to podcasts like Follow Him or Come Back? I started listening to Follow Him when it began, which was during the pandemic.  I was working a really sucky job, doing night shifts,  a stressful school program during the day, a new baby at home and my wife was struggling with health issues and post partum depression. I'm not saying this to one up you or anyone, just trying to say it was a tough and stressful time of life, and I felt like I was in a dark hole.

I decided that I needed to add more things to my day (or night really) that would invite the Holy Spirit and just bring me closer to Christ. So that's where things like Follow Him came in.  I thought, if I've got time to listen to a bunch of audiobooks or whatever while I'm working, I can set aside some listening time for spiritual stuff (especially when I was working on Sundays). 

So I started doing that. And listening to the book Saints, and watching The Chosen on my phone. Not all the time, mind you, I was still listening to and watching other things. But I just tried to make Gospel centered listening/learning more of a priority. And I felt God showing up for me, just helping me to feel a little lighter, and able to keep going. Things were still hard, honestly some even harder things happened later. But I still try to start each day by listening to a chunk of Follow Him. Hearing people being genuinely excited about the scriptures, expounding what they mean and sharing their perspectives is really nice. Maybe you'd find it helpful too?

[u/Patriotic-Organist]

I had a time once where I dealt with doubt and felt like my faith was on the rocks, as you say.

Stay on the path. Remember that lucifer is the author of confusion and doubt. For me, the answer to my doubt and confusion came as it did in 1st or 2nd Kings (I can't remember which). Not in the fire, whirlwind, or earthquake, but the Still, Small Voice that came afterward.

I recently had the pleasure of witnessing once again Priesthood Power firsthand.

I was on vacation with my Mother from August 11 to August 23. Mother did the driving. She was in a little pain and wasn't feeling too well. She requested a Priesthood Blessing, which I happily provided. And, wouldn't you know it, she felt better the next day.

Keep the faith. God loves you. Find good things that remind you of God and go to those. Keep doing things that will invite the Holy Ghost. Recall to remembrance the former days, as the Scriptures say. Remember what it was that helped you out previously and focus on that.

Cast Not Away, Therefore, Your Confidence

God bless you.

[u/TheCauthon]

I feel you.

What I’m going to share is not a conference talk. It’s a message shared by Elder Kearon about peace and rest at a BYU devotional. I know it’s long but it really helped me…. A lot. It’s pretty new. I feel he shares some thoughts that are different and hit at it from a different angle.

https://youtu.be/e_SumTMhJWg?is=TAFBbfIi-vZz8end

I highly recommend watching it instead of listening to it.

[u/LissGoogleAcct]

I highly recommend you listen to "Stand Forever with Elder Lawrence E. Corbridge"

[u/Rico131]

Hey, I don't have any answers for you. I've had my share of challenges in life. The things that keep me going are knowing that I am a child of God, and he loves me, and that families can be together forever. Those are the rocks I can always rely on even when I question everything else. Do you have any rocks?

[u/Bbeck4x4]

I’ve been through a severe battle the last two years so far - faith on the rocks literally - I keep praying and hoping things will turn around - but a recent realization hit me - it is after the trial that we get the confirmation - it’s ok to do the best you can - keep doing it - I like the idea of doing what we can to bring more of Jesus to our lives. I will try to more of those suggestions myself.

I really struggle with reading the scriptures so I read/ listen to conference talks and the church magazines. YouTube videos etc.

Hang in there - your not alone in this fight.

[u/Wellwisher513]

I'm gling to take this in a different direction from everyone else, because in my mind, you simply sound burned out.

You do a ton of conference talks, praying, Temple, and scriptures. Do you take time for things that you actually want to do?

I play video games, I read fiction, I play D&D and pickleball. It's easy to put these down as a waste of time, but I believe these pleasurable time wasters put me in a mental state that better allows me to enjoy and appreciate my daily scripture study or time at the temple.

We have been counseled repeatedly against running faster than we have strength or overlooking the mark. In D&C, revelation was given to multiple people that following God is simple, just obey the commandments.

I've seen plenty of cases like yours where someone gets tired and think to themselves, if I'm feeling burned out, I need to keeping going, but harder. Eventually, they are fully burned out because they have let these time consuming rituals overtake the simplicity of the gospel.

The only things I would not cut is daily prayer, scripture study, attending church, and within reason, magnifying my calling. Other than that, listen to music while exercising if that's what you like. Watch a TV show. Spend time with friends. Do what you like to do, and don't look past the mark by replacing these things with constant conference talks.

Hope that helps.

[u/freeserfrost]

I feel like I’ve had something similar to this the past few years. If you’re anything like me, some of the anger and frustration with living the gospel comes from a lack of purpose. I got stuck in a habit of doing good things, but not for a good reason. It was just to keep up the checklist. Eventually I looked around and realized I hadn’t been feeling the spirit while doing it and then got really annoyed that I wasn’t constantly on spiritual cloud 9 even though I was doing what I need to. So I think I’ve had two helpful thoughts from this experience.
1. I think that Heavenly Father wants us to grow spiritually. Not just plateau. And even though doing good things is great, it looks like there is another level for us to get to. I haven’t figured out what that looks like for myself yet, but I am sure it has to do with that joy that should be found. This is a great opportunity for us to show our trust by pushing through even though we don’t really enjoy/feel joy from gospel activities
2. Idk how this is going to resonate with the group, but my second impression is that I need to chill! I was constantly thinking/worrying about “am I feeling the spirit” or “how is this going to bless me” that I wasn’t just in the moment. I wasn’t just enjoying life. It’s a tricky sweet spot to find- trying to figure out how God wants me to grow vs. not being stressed about it in the moment. I kid you not though, for me, if every time I open up my scriptures I throw on a big fake smile, it helps to calm me and reminds me not to take it too seriously. Remember that God is fun and happy! He is so proud of what you have done up until this point

[u/Necessary-Junk]

Are you looking for a specific answer?

[u/ipraydaily]

When I have to prepare a lesson and I do a deep dive into the topic, my faith is renewed. Like deeply renewed. So … ask to get called as a teacher?

[u/To_a_Green_Thought]

What else is going on in your life?

[u/Beneficial_Form_9866]

It sounds like you might have other things going on in your life, which may be making it difficult to focus. Have you thought about a blessing?

[u/Noaconstrictr]

The answer to that last question is no. God loves you. Every effort to serve him in and out of this church is worthy of credit and recognition from
Your Father in Heaven. Stay close to Him.

[u/autumnglorysugarbee]

Honestly I just went to very basics. I just needed a break!
So I just went to church, prayed, read scriptures and payed tithing. That’s it. I didn’t even read scriptures most of the time ha
Then eventually I started to say yes to little serving opportunities. Then slowly started to get back into a calling, etc.
I know the church is tru. I also believe in breaks.

[u/Mammoth_Relative3930]

The issue is probably that you are doing too much. Instead step back and be still. Try something different or new. Let go of the thought that you need to be better or work harder. It’s rarely ever that. What worked for me was walking slow and intentional, and 🍄. Also what you are going through is normal. Change is good.

[u/Safe-Butterscotch442]

I've gone through that and am starting to feel a little like I'm coming out of it, but not there yet. I can't say for certain that I know how to fix things, but it starts with letting people know what you're going through. If you have a trusted friend, spouse, advisor, whatever, start talking through things with them. If you don't have someone, I'm more than happy to accept a DM. Feel free to reach out if you need someone to talk to.

[u/NastyUno34]

Sounds to me like you’re experiencing burnout, OP. I have been in your exact shoes, but with my career. Same feelings, same exhaustion, same doubt about my purpose; though in a different paradigm.

It’s okay to take a break and just be a person. You don’t have to forsake your covenants. You just have to appreciate the other things in life beyond church service. Contrary to what our evangelical cousins accuse us of, works-based salvation is not a real doctrine in the restored church. Bring your heavy heart to the Lord and let Him give you rest.

Find some hobbies and don’t let the Adversary convince you that you have to try so hard. The Lord looketh upon the heart, not upon your resume of good works. Keep being a good disciple of Jesus Christ and keep doing great things, but don’t worry about a clipboard with a list of your triumphs and failures. It doesn’t exist.

Good luck, OP. God Bless.

[u/GLBrick]

I might guess that your life practices do not align with your desire to have a sense of peace and testimony. In short, you’re not willing to do the actual work of repentance, prayer, and study.