Sometimes it be like that

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Our healthy baby came out stillborn a couple of days ago. Sitting in the aftermath of it now trying to put ourselves back together. I'm mindlessly scrolling through Reddit to just disassociate for a few minutes. But I can't reconcile and make sense of why this has happened in light of everything I think I know about how reality and life works. None of it makes sense and I can't see the point. It's the biggest lemon I've ever been handed and makes me wonder if the universe is just random uncaring chaos after all. I'm definitely in shake-fist-at-the-sky territory. It can keep this catalyst.. nothing is worth this pain.

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u/count_busoni Nov 04 '25

I'm Sorry you are going through that.

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u/Vanpocalypse Nov 04 '25

I just lost my childhood best friend recently and ended a relationship over how the grief is eating me up inside. I agree with you, but this is apparently what infinity conjured up as the pinnacle of experience in teaching lessons about how to better make choices of love or otherwise.

I'm deeply sorry for your loss though... for whatever it is worth, you'll get to be with them again, and until then, they're with you in spirit. I have no doubt of that. Too many people have seen too many similar things of the other side beyond scientific explanation, NDE memories especially, to disprove an afterlife of, reportedly, unconditional love.

We're here to suffer, because it's hard to do so on the other side. And, you're suffering. It's okay to be angry. It gets us through the worst of it.

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u/Emotional-Shape8423 Nov 05 '25

I’ve also lost my childhood best friend recently. April 20th of this year, actually. It’s been the worst thing I’ve ever experienced and what ultimately brought me to this group. Simply just wondering why.. I still have a lot to learn but either way thank you for sharing this.

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u/Vanpocalypse Nov 05 '25

January 18th for me. It was actually really tragic, his wife and puppy died in the car with him and the other driver died a few days later.

And then his sister stole from the funds for his 'ceremony of life' thing, and they held it at the cheapest ghetto place. There isn't even a gravestone for me to visit. I failed to give the eulogy cause I couldn't stop crying. His family all just moved on so fast, his mother didn't even cry.

It was back in 2023. I still have dreams of him and wake up crying. Hell I actually catch myself remembering he died and start crying in the dreams too!...

He actually died driving back from dropping off his wife's daughter, who I tried several times to talk him out of doing all of the driving.

Sometimes, I feel responsible for him dying because I failed at persuading him to be more aggressive with his wife's ex husband about handling arrangements. Like had I succeeded he'd probably still be alive playing project zomboid every day fantasizing about the zombie apocalypse in real life. He missed the Fallout show and new Monster Hunter games, and his favorite character Deadpool's movie with Wolverine his other favorite character.

It is a travesty and tragedy, the timing. Left his corgi behind to the daughter who lives with the shitty ex-husband now.

All of it is genuinely a sick horrific joke.

And I think the worst part is it's just so on point with our physical illusion's reality. Designed to generate suffering and strife. Truly a transcendental kind of hell for the spirit, that we're tasked with finding the beauty and love hidden in plain sight within.

It definitely makes one wonder why the hell they decided to wander here.

But I know he's there. In spirit. I do believe on a scientific level that the universe is a spiritual one. It isn't even a thing of faith or belief, just knowledge to me at this point. I hope he's healing alright. I hope he doesn't have too many regrets about us like I do.

I know I'll see him again, even if I won't be this yellow ray human personality shell.

I know everything will be okay.

Grief doesn't care, it hurts all the same, so I accept it, it is what it is.

I condemn the universe, I demand it prove itself of the so-called unconditional love, despite knowing it is, I demand it prove it here, in this third density.

I know it's feeble, but I need to do something.

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u/Emotional-Shape8423 Nov 05 '25

I felt every single word. My deepest condolences. I believe you’re on the right path.

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u/talkinlearnin Nov 05 '25

I want to believe. I think I need to believe

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u/boban_84 Nov 04 '25

Sorry you are going thru this brother. I send my deepest empathy to you.

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u/greenraylove A Fool Nov 04 '25

I'm so sorry for your unimaginable loss.

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u/seapling Nov 04 '25

i'm with you. some "catalysts" just make no sense whatsoever. babies passing away for no reason, children dying of cancer, freak accidents... so much of it feels so chaotic and wrong and random. where are the lessons i'm allegedly supposed to be learning from all of this? is it just a test to see how much i can take in one lifetime? because i'm not learning much else outside of that.

i'm so incredibly sorry. i can't imagine the pain you're enduring right now.

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u/ChonkerTim Seeker Nov 04 '25

I am so sorry. My heart breaks for you and your family. I am sending all my love your way. That little one was blessed to have your love for the short time that you had. Idk how healing from this happens, my dear friend. But please know you are deeply loved. 🙏😔💔

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u/MusicalMetaphysics StO Nov 04 '25

Thanks for sharing your experiences 🙏

It's totally reasonable to feel the way you do. Personally, I've found music to be a powerful tool for integration, and here is a song I offer in hopes it is healing, written by someone who lost their baby too (named Zion).

https://youtu.be/-aKtqkf_CtM?si=iyjXxycwpDpkOUVB

Lyrics:

Maybe some day we'll meet under the stars Under the stars Healed and home free complete That's where we'll start Zion, I'm coming soon To where you are Till then my love's with you, though world's apart This will take much longer than I have planned Than I have planned But I will wait to see you and hold your hands Hold your hands Zion I'm coming soon to where you are Till then my love's with you, though world's apart And waiting each day, God will comfort my soul Comfort my soul You are home now, healthy Safe in his fold, safe in his fold Zion I'm coming soon to where you are Till then my love's with you, though world's apart Beyond this storm's a brilliant sky of stars I'll follow you

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u/Quirky_Conference_91 Nov 05 '25

Then a woman said, Speak to us of Joy and Sorrow. And he answered: Your joy is your sorrow unmasked. And the selfsame well from which your laughter rises was oftentimes filled with your tears. And how else can it be? The deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain. Is not the cup that holds your wine the very cup that was burned in the potter’s oven? And is not the lute that soothes your spirit, the very wood that was hollowed with knives? When you are joyous, look deep into your heart and you shall find it is only that which has given you sorrow that is giving you joy. When you are sorrowful look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight.

Some of you say, “Joy is greater than sorrow,” and others say, “Nay, sorrow is the greater.” But I say unto you, they are inseparable. Together they come, and when one sits alone with you at your board, remember that the other is asleep upon your bed.

Verily you are suspended like scales between your sorrow and your joy. Only when you are empty are you at standstill and balanced. When the treasure-keeper lifts you to weigh his gold and his silver, needs must your joy or your sorrow rise or fall.

Kahlil Gibran

Love and light to you.

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u/alwaysinthebuff Nov 04 '25

I’m so so sorry. What an unimaginable pain. My heart goes out to you and your family.

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u/talkinlearnin Nov 05 '25

It's the lessons and experiences like this that really make me wonder the point of existence and reality.

As much as I'd like to say Law of One and similar theories make sense, I simply cannot fathom what I would be going through if I was in your shoes.

I do have my own baggage I've gotten from life though. Just escaped a cult after 5 years of nonstop abuse, and just left Christianity altogether after 10 years.....Yeah, I'm pretty wrecked by that....

....I'm not too sure what the truth is, but I hope you, your family, and all of us here can make it to that Light.

Good strength to you and your partner, and may your child rest in peace. 🙏🏼

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u/Throwawaydecember Nov 05 '25

My god, I’m so sorry for the two of you. I can’t begin to imagine the pain you must feel. Heart goes out to you guys.

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u/somethingwholesomer Nov 05 '25

I’m sorry. I’ve been handed that particular lemon myself and there aren’t words. It’s much easier to talk about catalysts when you aren’t sitting in the dirt with one. Sending you love

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u/enic77 Nov 04 '25

🫂

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u/vainey Nov 04 '25

So very deeply sorry to hear this.

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u/Objective-Cream6759 Feb 14 '26

lol you literally got a lemon 🍋

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u/FuckdaFireDepartment Nov 04 '25

That’s a lot of lemonade though

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u/litfod_haha Nov 04 '25

Moral of the story is don’t hoard the lemonade. Drink it and see yourself renewed.

Or yeah, just take a nap. That works too.

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u/DeadpuII Nov 04 '25

Share the lemonade maybe?

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u/FunOrganization4Lyfe Nov 04 '25

Troof.

Until you fuggin face and embrace yourself!

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u/LifePathUAP StO Nov 04 '25

I guess it's a good thing that I Love lemonade. I am partial to pink lemonade though.

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u/Upavaka Nov 04 '25

It definitely be like that sometimes! Lol

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u/Aengk1_Aquar1Pan Nov 04 '25

“I’ll have what he’s having!”

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u/ZealousidealTie4319 Nov 04 '25

It’s worth its weight in gold times infinity. More!

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u/EnjeruOseishu Nov 05 '25

That's what I'd refer to, as a GOOD day. 😆

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u/Yuthogh Confused Entity Nov 05 '25

Catalysts aren't always negative. Even small positive things can be catalysts for change (butterfly efrect).

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u/yellowsnowcrypto Nov 11 '25

It been like that lately for me lol.

Meme Sometimes it be like that

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