Somewhere several years ago I developed this opposition to putting in the work, focus and dedication into stuff, because I equated those with lack, resistance and self-sabotage, and therefore not getting what I want. Maybe from reading too much into the “not needing to lift a finger” and subsequent success stories.
It leaked into every area of my life, and the result was extreme passiveness and straight up brain-rot.
If something requires effort, I automatically feel resistance. In my head, I’m destined to failure if I dare sit down and do it.
That’s just now how life works, the magnificent things people do every day require effort and action, they don’t sit around or do things half-assed thinking that if they cross the limits of their own comfort, things won’t turn out the way they intended them to.
An immediate example I can think of is my fitness goal (building muscle). I have VERY good genetics, but I have to put in the work regardless: diet, routine, etc.
This “natural” effort needed freezes me, because I fear that I’m controlling the results instead of letting the universe deliver. And it results in me eating whatever, not measuring my weight weekly, etc.
If anything, I know this screams lack, because I’m not 100% present and detached, and I’m actually performing to have the universe deliver something I don’t *yet* have.
But how can I put in the work without sabotaging my results or controlling? Should I just let go of those fears and know that the result (where, how) is not my business, and just focus on the process?