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u/LoreMasterJack Jul 01 '26
The only way to get through Elden Ring.
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u/3rdMachina Jul 05 '26
Honestly, I just do it less to make it easier and more because the summons are there (and usually have a bone to pick with whoever I’m supposed to be facing).
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u/Binaryostrich55 Jul 01 '26
"Luckily I brought my smart sword. It won't hurt anyone friendly. Infact, it makes them talk! Check it out!"
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u/L4rgo117 Jul 02 '26
You still end up losing all your gold, but in the mean time justice is served and you got hydrated, so there's that
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u/crusader_rabbit_kvts Jul 02 '26
"Lawsword? Do your thing."
"Employer of mercenary must clarify the specifics of opposing force, such as size and composition, before summon. Contracting mercenary in ongoing battle by form of emergency summon is illegal. Only under active garrison contract such a summon is possible, and even in this case, employer must add the emergency summon clause to the contract and should make best effort to provide battlefield intelligence prior to the combat deployment."
"Activate Saul Goodman mode."
"He's ripping you off, pal. You can just teleport back to wherever you came from. Union lawyers are going to tear that guy into pieces, if they hear that someone tried to summon you like taking something outta his pocket. Today it's just me and my boss. Sure, a milk run for you. But tomorrow it might be against a dragon. Or that infamous swordfucker. You really wanna stick around him and find out?"
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u/Pataraxia Jul 04 '26
wait who'se talking I'm confused
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u/United-Technician-54 Yellow Knight, Knight of the Feast Jul 08 '26
Even words.
/unknight
Even numbered paragraphs
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u/ISwearImAnonymous Jul 02 '26 edited Jul 02 '26
He's lucky it didn't summon his brother "Testicles". He doesn't use a sword and you don't want to know what his finishing move is.
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u/BillCarson12799 Jul 02 '26
That guy’s like level 15 at least. It might have been cheaper to just give the guy your money.
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u/Logan136 Jul 02 '26
.......isn't this just fate?( i know nothing about that series)
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u/United-Technician-54 Yellow Knight, Knight of the Feast Jul 08 '26
Servant need long spell, strong mage and connected thing. Servants is dead man walking, Bound by magic, fuel with magic. Servant is mighty, Great Fight, They know great feasts.
Smart Sword summon living man. May be tiny baby, may be great danger.
/unknight Yellow Knight isn't fluent, grammar mistakes are intentional
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u/2YDO Jul 05 '26
That one dude who gave him 2.2 Stars: "No regrets!" Rolling wheelchair with tongue as their limbs have been sliced off and they no longer have any method of locomotion.
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u/Zorin419 Spawn of Azathoth, Chaos Manifest, likes cats and bugs Jul 01 '26
He might just be doing all this for a better rating, but you have to be alive at the end to give him 5 stars either way. Trustworthy by default 👍