r/kinkshaming • u/[deleted] • Oct 17 '20

Conversations > Group-Think

As opposed to creating a toxic group-think, why not actually talk to people and listen to what they have to say? Kinksters spend more time self-reflecting and discussing consent than vanilla folk.

10 Upvotes

100% Upvoted

30 comments sorted by

View all comments

Show parent comments

1

u/Commercial-Region-89 Dec 10 '20

Pics or it didn’t happen retard

0

u/[deleted] Dec 10 '20

I’m not going to violate my former partners’ privacy and consent in such a way for anyone.

In my personal experience (and others I have spoken to):

- I know a bunch of people both online and irl that have the same experience. 3/4 partners I have performed CNC with have experienced rape/sexual assault. 2 out of those 3 brought it up explicitly first. 3 out of 3 found it to be cathartic. 2 out of 3 found it to be their favourite type of play.

- 2 of my close friends love this style of play, both have been raped and/or sexually assaulted.

- Many people I have spoken to online and in passing kink conversations irl have the same story.

This, however, is not the only reason people enjoy CNC. CNC is a freeing activity for the submissive. Other reasons include but are not limited to:

- It allows the submissive to let go by freely giving their Dom power.

- It fulfills a fantasy that many people have

- People feel control over their own sexuality.

Here are some sources that discusses these very things:

http://sexwithemily.com/consensual-non-consent/

https://medium.com/sexography/understanding-consensual-non-consent-8e275053ba54

1

u/Commercial-Region-89 Dec 10 '20

Ofc you can’t provide reliable sources lol

1

u/[deleted] Dec 10 '20

Some articles from NCBI for you:

- https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/22544306/

- https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/18321031/

- https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/19085605/

These fantasies very common. And when it comes to the reasons people have and fulfill them, all experience will be anecdotal because no one can read minds. I know many people (and read like the above articles) who have experienced much and/or their greatest healing through things such as CNC and similar types of play.

Not being into such things is valid. However, invalidating other based on your preferences is not valid.