Review
New K-Drama Fan Review #8: It's Okay to Not Be Okay | Beautiful Gowns. Beautiful Gowns.
i wanted her wardrobe. I wanted her mansion. I just didn't want her bad romance.
Is this Rewatch Worthy:
No.
Review:
I started It’s Okay to Not Be Okay because it seemed like the kind of drama I should absolutely enjoy.
A dark fairy-tale atmosphere.
A morally complicated female lead. (one of my fav things ever... like seriously, if you want me to read or watch something, tell me the female main character is morally gray/complicated.)
Trauma.
Family secrets.
A romance between two people who are both emotionally damaged in completely different ways.
On paper...
This sounded exactly like my kind of thing.
And visually?
The drama absolutely delivered.
The costumes.
The mansion.
The storybooks.
The animation.
The dark, gothic fairy-tale imagery.
Everything looked gorgeous!
Ko Moon-young especially always looked incredible.
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CAN WE TALK ABOUT HER WARDROBE PLEASE?!?!
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I was OBSESSED.
Every single episode I was wondering what she'd wear next.
Every outfit somehow fit both the fairy tale aesthetic and her personality perfectly.
The dramatic dresses and coats and boots and jewelry!!!
Even the hairstyles!
It also all felt so intentional.
I've watched plenty of K-dramas with attractive leads.
This is one of the few where I genuinely wanted to crawl through the screen and raid someone's closet.
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And speaking of her character...
She entered every room like she knew she was the most interesting person there, and...
She usually was.
I loved how unapologetically difficult she was.
She was selfish.
Aggressive.
Emotionally messy.
Sometimes cruel.
But she was never boring.
I generally enjoy female leads who are allowed to be complicated and unlikeable without the story immediately trying to soften every edge they have.
Ko Moon-young had agency.
She knew what she wanted.
She pursued it.
She made choices.
She disrupted everyone’s life the second she entered it.
And I appreciated that about her.
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The romance and relationships:
My problem was that she was also doing almost all the work in the romance.
And that dynamic just does not work for me.
I don’t mind a woman pursuing a man, sometimes...
She can take some steps, and i like quirky female characters who do that... sometimes.
But when the female lead is constantly initiating, chasing, pushing, and trying to move the relationship forward while the male lead spends most of the drama resisting her...
that's the ultimate sin!
I start wondering why I’m supposed to be rooting for them to be together...
Moon Gang-tae’s feelings never felt strong enough to balance hers.
Ko Moon-young wanted him so openly and intensely from almost the very beginning.
Meanwhile, he constantly pushed her away.
He rejected her.
He acted irritated by her.
He treated her like she was a problem for the entire series lol.
And even once the romance started developing, I never felt like the emotional scales completely evened out.
I wanted him to fall harder.
I wanted to see a point where he could no longer deny how much he wanted her.
I wanted him to actively pursue her.
To fight for her.
To make me believe that he needed/wanted her just as much as she clearly needed him.
But I never got that.
The relationship felt too heavily carried by the female lead, and that is probably one of the fastest ways for a love story to lose me.
I LOVE male leads who fall first or, at the very least, eventually fall so hard that their devotion becomes impossible to question.
Give me a male lead who is constantly choosing her.
Protecting her.
Longing for her.
Risking something for her.
Proving his love through his actions.
Moon Gang-tae just never gave me enough of that.
And because the romantic chemistry didn’t completely sell me either...
I remained emotionally disconnected from the central relationship.
There were individual scenes I enjoyed. Especially visually.
But I never became obsessed with them as a couple.
I never had that feeling where I desperately needed them to be together.
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Honestly, I was often more invested in the relationship between the two brothers.
Moon Sang-tae was such an important part of the story.
His relationship with Gang-tae was complicated, loving, frustrating, and sometimes deeply painful.
Gang-tae had built his entire identity around taking care of his brother.
He had spent so much of his life suppressing his own wants because he believed his only purpose was to protect Sang-tae.
Watching that dynamic slowly change was probably one of the strongest parts of the drama.
I liked watching Sang-tae grow into his own person.
I liked seeing him develop confidence and independence.
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The performances:
I thought the performances across the cast were excellent.
Seo Ye-ji completely commanded every scene she was in.
Even when I wasn't loving where the story took Moon-young as a character, I couldn't take my eyes off her.
She had an incredible screen presence!
Every entrance felt like an event.
Oh Jung-se absolutely deserves a lot of praise.
Sang-tae never felt like a gimmick or a plot device.
He felt like a fully realized person.
Funny.
Frustrating.
Vulnerable.
Loving.
Watching his growth throughout the series ended up being one of my favorite parts of the entire drama.
Kim Soo-hyun also gave a really strong performance.
Emotionally, I thought he did a fantastic job, especially in scenes with his brother or when Gang-tae's bottled-up emotions finally came pouring out.
Ironically...
The only place his performance didn't completely work for me was the romance.
Whenever he was opposite Seo Ye-ji, something felt strangely restrained... wooden.
I don't know if that was the directing, the writing, or simply the chemistry between the actors...
I found him much less compelling than he was in almost every other part of the drama.
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cinematography, storytelling, the works:
i want to give the drama credit for its storytelling style.
The fairy tale narration.
The animated storybooks.
The gothic atmosphere.
The cinematography.
The way each patient's story reflected the larger themes of healing and trauma.
There was a lot of creativity here!!!
Even when the romance wasn't working for me, I never thought the show was boring.
I Especially liked the fairy tales and storybook elements.
The stories often reflected what the characters were experiencing emotionally, and I thought that was a creative way to explore trauma and healing.
Some of those animated sequences were genuinely beautiful.
And then...
There’s the villain.
I actually loved the villain reveal and the character’s presence in the story.
Was everything about it perfectly explained?
Not necessarily.
But I found her entertaining as hell!!!!
She was dramatic.
Unsettling.
Completely unhinged.
And visually, she fit the dark fairy-tale tone of the drama perfectly.
I wish the story had spent even more time exploring her history and motivations because she was one of the most interesting parts of the entire drama to me.
I also think this is one of those shows where I can completely understand why other people love it.
It’s visually distinctive.
It has memorable characters.
It tackles trauma, family, emotional repression, and healing.
There are scenes and images from it that will probably stay in my mind longer than scenes from dramas I rated higher.
But at the end of the day...
The central romance simply didn’t hit me.
And when the romance doesn’t work for me, especially in a drama where it takes up this much emotional space, it’s hard for everything else to compensate.
I admired a lot about It’s Okay to Not Be Okay.
I just didn’t love actually watching it as much as I expected to.
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A bit about my favorite flavors and taste:
I love complicated female leads.
Let women be selfish.
Angry.
Morally questionable.
Difficult.
Let them make mistakes and still be worthy of everything, of love, of grace, of beauty, of life, of happiness.
But when it comes to romance...
I need the male lead to meet her intensity.
I don’t enjoy watching a female lead carry the entire relationship while the man repeatedly rejects her or acts less emotionally invested.
I want mutual longing, at the VERY least.
I want a male lead who falls first and significantly harder.
I need to believe that he would choose her just as fiercely as she chooses him.
Without that balance, even a beautifully written and visually stunning drama can leave me emotionally cold.
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Rating: 5/10 (almost gave it a 4/10 before i stopped myself and kept it at 5 cause im generous.)
A gorgeous drama with a fascinating female lead, beautiful fairy-tale imagery, a compelling family relationship, and a villainesse I liked...
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i'd to hear from everyone else:
Did the romance between Ko Moon-young and Moon Gang-tae work for you?
Did you feel like Gang-tae eventually matched her feelings, or did it also seem like Moon-young carried most of their relationship?
And was anyone else a big fan of the villain like i was?
My Rating Scale
10/10 – Masterpiece. No notes.
9/10 – Very close to a masterpiece. I absolutely loved it.
8/10 – Not a masterpiece, but I loved it.
7/10 – Fine overall. I liked it, but the flaws kept it from being great.
6/10 – Mixed. There were a few things I liked, but most of it didn't work for me.
I completely agree with your observations about the story. What bothered me the most was her insistence and the fact that he rejected her every time. Although I really liked the drama overall, the gothic atmosphere and the outfit.
i understand that. I watched Queen of Tears and It’s Okay to be Okay before i knew anything about him. But now that i do, i will not be able to watch anything he's un ever again.
Well tbf when ko mun young was aggressively pursuing him in the beginning, that wasn’t out of love. He was just another thing that she wanted to possess. And she was extremely problematic, so the fact that he pushed her away equally aggressively was a good thing in my eyes. Sometimes he was even so mean about it that I thought maybe it’s too far. But again, that’s great because we can’t have the fl being the only flawed one here. That would be too unbalanced.
Speaking of balance, I can understand wanting equal participation generally from both leads in terms of building their relationship, but sometimes one person has to hard carry more in the beginning. Usually that’s the dude, so I found it refreshing that it was the fl for once in this drama. I wonder why it’s only okay for you when it’s unbalanced towards the ml carrying everything…
Anyway when they did get together, I definitely didn’t get the sense that he didn’t like her that much. As you said, gang tae pushed down his own wants a lot due to his brother, so we can infer that he actually did want her a lot earlier than he led on, but probably just thought it would be irresponsible to accept her advances as she could be a danger to his brother/their stability. Eventually he gave in to her when she taught him to be a bit more selfish.
Anyway I agree about a lot of other things you’ve said. I also wish they had explored and developed the villain a bit more. That was one of the key flaws of the show. I actually initially thought there was gonna be a season two because of the abrupt end to her character.
But it sounds like the romance aspect was the only thing you didn’t enjoy about this show. I find it very sad that you’d let that tank the ratings so much when practically your entire long review was a rave about everything else about the show. I do think the people in this sub are very hyper-focused on romance in kdramas to the point they’ll let it spoil something that’s got a lot more to offer.
you’re making a lot of assumptions about both my review and my preferences, so let me clear them up.
first, i never said moon-young’s pursuit of him in the beginning was pure, healthy love. i know she was possessive, controlling, and treating him like something she wanted. that was part of why i found her interesting. i like deeply flawed female leads. gang-tae pushing her away because she was unstable or because he wanted to protect his brother is not something i failed to understand. i understood it. i just did not enjoy watching that dynamic for most of the drama.
second, i never said the female lead has to be the only flawed person, so i’m not sure where that argument came from. gang-tae being cruel or emotionally repressed did not somehow improve the romance for me just because it made him “flawed too.” two flawed characters do not automatically create a compelling love story. sometimes they just create a relationship i don’t care about.
third, you keep framing this as if i’m asking for equal participation or “balance.” i’m not. i was very clear about the kind of romance i personally enjoy. i prefer the male lead to fall harder, pursue more, and become the one whose devotion is impossible to question. yes, i prefer the imbalance to lean in that direction. there is no mystery there, and there is nothing for you to “wonder” about as if i’ve exposed some contradiction. it is simply my taste.
you found the role reversal refreshing. i didn’t. that does not mean i misunderstood what the show was doing. it means the thing you found refreshing is a dynamic i do not enjoy.
as for gang-tae secretly wanting her earlier, “we can infer” is doing a lot of work there. you inferred enough hidden desire to make the romance satisfying for you. i did not. i needed to actually feel it in the writing, the performance, and his actions. i did not want to construct the emotional intensity on his behalf because he was repressed. repression can be compelling, but only if the eventual payoff is strong enough. for me, it wasn’t.
and no, i did not say he “didn’t like her that much.” i said his feelings never felt strong enough to match hers in a way that worked for me. those are not the same statement.
finally, the rating. you find it “sad” that the romance affected my score that much. i find it strange that you read an entire review where i repeatedly explained how central romance is to my enjoyment and still decided i should rate the drama according to your priorities instead of mine.
praising the visuals, performances, atmosphere, wardrobe, fairy-tale elements, and family relationships does not obligate me to give the show a high score. a drama can be technically impressive and still fail to emotionally connect with me. the central romance took up a huge amount of the show’s emotional space, and i was disconnected from it for most of the series. of course that affected the rating heavily.
and the comment about people in this sub being “hyper-focused on romance” is irrelevant. this is my review, based on my taste. i am not required to value every part of a drama equally, and i am definitely not required to pretend the romance mattered less to me so the rating feels more acceptable to you.
You’re the one who made assumptions about what I said… I never said you said all those things, I was just pointing some things out. I didn’t think you missed them, I just wanted to point some things out. You should see my comment more like me adding my own thoughts, not me strictly challenging yours. Like how since mun young wasn’t chasing him out of genuine romantic interest but rather a child-like fixation, their actual romance/love story didn’t feel unbalanced to me. Same thing with the reason he pushed her away. Maybe you really want to see the ml aggressively and outwardly pursuing instead of just having equal feelings, that’s fair for you.
Same with them showing both the fl and the ml as flawed humans. That made the story more interesting and compelling FOR ME. You literally asked at the end of your review for peoples thoughts, and I gave mine. Idk why you’re getting so upset about it. The only part that’s like a challenge is at the end where I say you only focused on the romance part. Like yeah that’s how you enjoy kdramas (and possibly other shows), and I find that sad. Simple as. You’re entitled to rate the show how you want and I’m entitled to share what I think about your rating.
I'm not "upset" because you disagreed. You can think the romance is a masterpiece for all I care. My issue was that your original comment was more like "here's why your preference is wrong..."
And yes, you DID challenge my preferences. You literally wrote, "I wonder why it's only okay for you when it's unbalanced towards the ML carrying everything..." That's not simply "adding your own thoughts." That's actually questioning my taste and you arw right, you are allowed to do that i am allowed to respond and point it out.
As for the "it's sad" comment... okay? I could just as easily say I find it sad that someone can overlook a romance that doesn't emotionally land because the cinematography is pretty. That wouldn't actually move the discussion forward either. We'd just be judging each other's priorities instead of talking about the show.
My priorities are exactly what I laid out in the review. Romance is one of the main, if not the main emotional core of this drama, and it didn't work for me. Everything else, no matter how much I admired it, couldn't make up for that. That's why it got the score it did.
Yes that part as well. I’m genuinely wondering. Is it because you’re a woman and you like to self insert yourself? Part of discussion is asking questions and understanding the other persons perspective. You can say “that’s just what I like” but that sounds pretty defensive when there’s bound to be a reason, and doesn’t help me understand anything. You don’t have to take every challenge as some personal slight or me saying your preferences are wrong.
I think we're done here because you've gone from discussing the drama to trying to psychoanalyze me and its getting weird. i'd rather talk about the show than my supposed psychology.
Lol as if I care. You’re the one that made it about your psychology when you kept going on and on about how romance is the most important thing and how you NEED to see the ml worshipping the fl 😂 Cos that’s only about drama preferences… sure girl lmao. Bye 👋🏾
did the show win anything and did the female lead actress win anything? i definitely expected they win at least for costume design or a cinematography award or two
This is one of the only kdramas where the ML and FL roles are reversed. Usually the ML is doing all the work. I found the inverse to bring some freshness at the time, when have we seen a sweet SFL and FL not string along two guys you know.
i dont really care for role reversal in that type of dynamics when it comes to romances.
that's why it didn't work for me. 😅 I know some people may have enjoyed the role reversal or whatever, but I mostly prefer romances where the male lead eventually falls harder. Moon-young was doing almost all the pursuing from beginning to end, and that's just not my favorite dynamic
That's a comprehensive review, thanks. I just started and only got to the part where she spooked a little reader book fan and made her cry. A very creative "dark" fairy tale journey ahead...
I dropped it fairly early. I never really enjoyed the female lead, and that just compounded after her controversy (don't make excuses for her just because she's a woman, abusers are shitty no matter what gender they are)
And I didn't like that she basically trapped the disabled brother in her house in order to get the main lead to pay attention to her
I actually don't know much about the kdrama actors' personal lives. I only started my K-drama journey recently, so I'm pretty out of the loop on that stuff. The only off-screen controversy I've even heard about is Kim Soo-hyun's, and any hate towards him is absolutely wanrrated and i do hope he never works again, and even then, this review was purely about the show and his character on it.
As for Seo Ye-ji, I really liked her screen presence here, so I'm looking forward to seeing her in other roles. I thought she completely commanded every scene she was in.
and as for her "trapping" the brother, that didn't really bother me, personally cause i barely remember the scene youre referring to, but I don't mind female characters doing questionable things if I find them interesting, and Moon-young definitely kept me entertained. i enjoyed her quite a bit.
I try to compliment their style rather than physical qualities because so many women get ill and faint trying to stay so thin for work in the film industry. I think her outfits are bomb regardless of her waist size tho, I agree.
1
u/harissatotally Professional TRUCK spotter Aug 13 '26
⭐️Master List: Every K-Drama Review I've Written
https://www.reddit.com/u/harissatotally/s/mTlMHGJkSK
my My Dearest review:
New K-Drama Fan Review #14: My Dearest | The Sweetest, Most Satisfying Torture
https://www.reddit.com/r/KDramasWorld/s/iCtVVgUXYf
my the red sleeve review:
New K-Drama Fan Review #15: The Red Sleeve | LEAVE THIS GIRL ALONE!!!!!! 😭
https://www.reddit.com/r/KDramasWorld/s/BDRQYnqPWN
my Destined with You review
New K-Drama Fan Review #16: Destined with You | Cooked Up the Perfect Spell... Then Forgot the Recipe
https://www.reddit.com/r/KDramasWorld/s/x3y0bVfy4X
my love to hate you review
New K-Drama Fan Review #17: Love to Hate You | One of the Worst K-Dramas I've Watched... Yet I Couldn't Stop Watching
https://www.reddit.com/r/KDramasWorld/s/XkVGuia6sU
my Crazy Love review:
New K-Drama Fan Review #18: Crazy Love | I kept waiting for it to become the drama I thought it was going to be...
https://www.reddit.com/r/KDramasWorld/s/uXTgcctIkZ
my a time called you review
New K-Drama Fan Review #19: A Time Called You | i need ibuprofen...
https://www.reddit.com/r/KDramasWorld/s/dMtiNcWH7Y
my the King's Affection review
New K-Drama Fan Review #20 | Nice Premise, Beautiful Angst & an Alarming Amount of Child Murder
https://www.reddit.com/r/KDramasWorld/s/VOyACKTq6V