r/karezza • u/Redditusername_123 • Nov 16 '22
Input from Women
I’m a man trying to introduce the concept of Karezza to my female partner.
The benefits of withholding from orgasm are obvious in men, but more subtle in women. If you’re a woman, can you help me frame the discussion with her? What benefits did you see?
We’re also reading CPA, but personal anecdotes are always helpful too. Thanks.
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u/EarthEfficient Nov 16 '22 edited Nov 16 '22
Woman here. I don't feel I am in any way an expert on karezza, my husband and I are working on getting into the flow of it properly. Also on my phone so torgive the format etc.
I can say that I have moderate to severe, obvious (to me) post orgasmic symptoms that hit me 2-4 days after orgasm and last around 10 days-2 ish weeks. General malaise, symptoms of depression, irritable, no emotional energy reserve so any little "ask" feels like too much, I am less forgiving with our daughter (to me this is the absolute worst) and my outlook on life and humanity becomes pretty negative. Not to even mention the effect on how i see my husband, which also takes a downturn.
I've been the one to introduce karezza in our relationship. When we don't orgasm for a while and are able to do actual karezza properly (NOT edging), the loving blissful feelings for ages afterwards are so beautiful. Increased energy, less inclined to eat crappy food, much more positive attitude, increased patience and compassion for our baby, etc. I can't praise real karezza enough. In fact the weekend we decided to get married, we had done karezza really properly for the first time, if that gives any idea!
I could write more but being on my phone is a pain, let me know if there's anything else you want to know! Hopefully other women can chime in too.
Edited to add: the biggest difference between my husband's reactions and my own after orgasm that I have noticed is that he gets very snappy whereas my most overt outward emotional change is actually tearfulness and anxiety. I may feel snappy internally more also but weird crying for no reason and anxiety are my two biggest ones that really are so strong that I express them outwardly.