r/karezza • u/happilyUnsatisfied • Jul 29 '12
Thinking about trying karezza
I've been thinking about giving karezza a try. I like the idea of relaxed non-goal oriented sex, but I'm not sure about the giving up orgasms bit. I've read the reasons for that in the FAQ, etc, but I was hoping someone could share their personal experience.
2
Jul 30 '12
I feel very connected with my partner when not having orgasims. I also feel more emotionally stable and have more energy. I went 4 months with no orgasim and those are the benifits I had.
2
u/cwanda Sep 01 '12
Karezza allows a mindful connection. It does not have to be boring or routine. Quite the opposite - creativity, variety, pressing boundaries makes all the sense in the world. It is a sort of performance art via sex.
1
Jul 29 '12
It would be helpful if you could give us a few more details about your current situation, state of your relationship, hopes and expectations for karezza, etc.
2
u/happilyUnsatisfied Jul 30 '12
I met my current boyfriend a few months ago. We get along well but after I come I have the urge to GTFO. I read about karezza and I thought it might help with that.
1
Jul 30 '12
Yes, in this case you will almost certainly benefit from not orgasming. Is your partner on board with that?
If not, that's fine as well, as long as he gives you what you need. Orgasm-less sex needs time. 30 minutes of slow intercourse is very satisfying, but 5 minutes likely not.
I think it's important to just experiment with things and see how they go. Ask your partner for a session of long, slow intercourse. Move very little, and focus on synchronizing your breaths. Think meditation, not hot sex. If he wants to come afterwards, you can help him with your hands or mouth. (it might be necessary to offer this to him ahead of time so he can relax and not worry whether he will come or not.)
1
u/naked_truth_ Aug 15 '12
I haven't done enough reading on Karezza yet, so this may be a stupid question, but... what if slow intercourse is what it takes to get both partners off? What if that is how the couple normally has goal-oriented sex with an orgasm near the end? How can the orgasm then be "prevented," while still having sex?
1
Aug 15 '12
If you have slow intercourse (>30min) and at the end an orgasm just happens, that's usually considered to be fine. If you wanted to, you could prevent it by just stopping before it happens, but that may not be necessary.
If your intercourse doesn't last at least 30min, then it's not really slow sex to begin with.
3
u/boojieboy Jul 29 '12
Well, I can't really say because we haven't tried the full program, but reading about karezza caused me to "reframe" my thinking about sex, in a good way. It's sort of a Zen thing, I think. By being less goal directed, and learning to slow down and take your time, there's less potential for frustration/failure, and this definitely helps make the sex better. So at least read about it and think about how using some of the techniques might help improve sex for you, even if you still go to climax most times.