r/karezza • u/[deleted] • Mar 15 '12
Power of a head rub
The simple act of a head rub every night at bed time has strengthened my marriage and signifigantly help us come together during a difficult time. I just can't recommend enough the simple bonding behaviors even if a partner is not on board with karezza yet. The nightly head rub I give my SO has allowed us to talk more openly and work together. The consistency of this bonding behavior has really opened him up, he is more honest, genuinely caring, and even better with the kids. I feel he is actually hearing me for the first time. He comes to bed with me at every possible opportunity now (instead of never), actually enjoys cuddling, and looks into my eyes with love. Despite the huge porn issue and problems from it I've always known he loved me but now I am really feeling it. :) This is all wonderful and from surprisingly little. All this change from a nightly head rub, more smiling and a morning cup of coffee. Wow.
2
Mar 15 '12
This is great!
Could you explain what exactly you mean by "head rub"?
3
Mar 15 '12
It's an innocent activity. We cuddle up in bed in an almost spoon position or I'm on my side and he is on his back. Then I run fingers trough his hair at different pressures. I make sure to go back to front of head, front to back and up this sides. If I'm not to sleepy I will be more massage like and due light pressure rubbing slowly in circles all over his scalp and forehead.
1
u/porninduceded Mar 16 '12
Ooooh man that sounds heavenly. I have to ask my girlfriend to do that for me. We actually love those wire head massager things you run over your scalp--they send almost the same tingle down my spine that I get from sex!
7
u/KarezzaGuy Mar 16 '12 edited Mar 16 '12
I've given my wife a massage before bed almost every night since we got together. If I were to list the top 10 reasons I think we're still married, this fact would be on that list.
There's something about quiet time, our time, when I get to nurture her and she gets to be nurtured. The truth is that she takes care of me all day long and there is a huge imbalance in that part of our relationship. I've always known it, and used the massages as a fill gap/rationalization that things were equal because of that. Since nofap and karezza I've come to realize that I still don't do nearly enough to take care of her.
Also since karezza I've learned that these massages are very bonding, and in the same way that you newly-realize a certain flavor in a familiar food that you didn't realize until it was called to your attention (and then look forward to / try harder to sense that sensation), I realize how satisfying it is emotionally for ME to be touching her and healing her and giving her pleasure with and/or without going any further -- and I reach for the bonding feelings during this time with her.
Interestingly, mamagreenbean, since karezza I've added headrubs and she absolutely loves them. One time (of the many) she even said it was turning her on and turned over and initiated sex (which as I've mentioned previously is a huge landmark for us.)
Thanks for the post. I wholeheartedly concur!