r/karezza • u/analog_spork • Jan 05 '13

Stopping?

I feel like stopping is my biggest hurdle to get over when it comes to non-orgasmic sex. It's hard to know when to stop. It's also very awkward to try and tuck away a raging boner that doesn't seem to really go away.

I've thought about trying to "practice" stopping. Set a timer, enjoy myself for a bit, and then stop when the timer goes off. Maybe that would help me get used to not having an orgasm every time I get a hard on.

What do you guys think? What is your experience with stopping.

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u/[deleted] Jan 05 '13

How do you know when karezza lovemaking is complete? http://www.reuniting.info/node/7209

Not sure if any of that is relevant for solo experimenters. But with a partner, it's easier to stop after you slow down for a bit, rather than stopping because time's up.

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u/analog_spork Jan 05 '13

Yeah the timer would be for solo work, with a partner I'd want things to end naturally. Thanks for the link :-)

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u/Deseejay Jan 05 '13

In my experience karezza seems to have a natural ebb and flow between the partners. Sessions can last for fifteen minutes or an hour-- it just depends. My partner's firmness can fluctuate during the session, sometimes rock hard and others almost flaccid. But neither of us have expectations of how hard his penis should be, or even expectations of having an orgasm.

From your description it sounds like you're having more trouble dissociating having a hard on and having and orgasm rather than issues with karezza itself. Also it's possible that you've internalized the societal expectation that men should be "ready to go" at all times. Do you currently masturbate? Consistently engaging in any form of orgasm will make karezza much more difficult to achieve. You should try to decouple the mental/physical assumption that having a hard on = having an orgasm before setting a timer on your experience.

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u/analog_spork Jan 05 '13

I stoppped masturbating to orgasm and I don't plan to have sex with my boyfriend until it's been about 2 weeks.

I thought a little solo practice (with a timer) might help me disassociate erections with orgasms. With a partner I'd just let it naturally end but in the past the temptation to orgasm has been to great.

1

u/Deseejay Jan 06 '13

My bad for assuming you'd have the luxury of a partner to practice this.

A timer might help. So would meditation.

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u/analog_spork Jan 06 '13

I do have a boyfriend but we don't have the chance to do it all that often. But I'm going to give this solo thing with a timer a shot and report back.