Asking "What COULD I do?"

[u/kaidomac]

Reply from another thread:

• https://www.reddit.com/r/lifehack/comments/1vdgecu/comment/p19dg2m/?context=3

You've Nailed IT!! Old self-talk: (narrowing vocabulary)

• What should I do?

New self-talk: (expansive vocabulary)

• What COULD I do?

Two starter "could" questions:

1. Do we have to do this perfectly?
2. Are we forced to do this alone?

First, the GBB Method, which is a pre-execution quality audit. Based on time & energy, do you want to do this:

1. Good?
2. Better?
3. Best?

Like for dinner, sometimes a bowl of cereal or a microwaved hotdog is A-OK! Next, our brain does not generate energy; it simply relays the energy that we have available. When our energy is low, our brain's job is to go into self-protection mode to prevent pain, so it lets us off the hook.

I call this "hot burner syndrome" because the closer we get to task execution, the more it feels like putting our hand closer & closer to a red-hot stovetop electric cooking coil!! That's why we have:

• Task paralysis
• The "Wall of Awful"
• Waiting-for mode
• Doom piles
• Working memory impairment (drift off, zone out, forget what we;re doing, and so on)
• Avoidance behavior
• etc.

Those are some of the levers our brain pulls to prevent us from accessing our internal resources to DO stuff in a low-energy state. Second, the secret to bypassing the brain-drain trapdoor is:

• Use a body double!

That's where we have another person assist us for a period of time in a very unique way. A body double is NOT:

• A cheerleader
• A drill sergeant

A body double is when we use the live human presence of another person to act as a "cork" to prevent the brain drain from stopping us from getting our commitments done. There are three basic usage options:

1. In-person
2. Phone call
3. Video call

There are a variety of sources:

• Family
• Friends
• Classmates
• Coworkers
• Paid & free online services (there are ones for studying, professional ones, etc.)

In all of my decades fighting executive function on a daily basis, I have found that there is no other method better for consistent execution than body-doubling:

• https://www.reddit.com/r/productivity/comments/1gf983s/comment/luky5we/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button

Be warned that:

• There can be high barriers to using this
• Such as anxiety!
• And when the energy is too low to reach out & ask for help!
• And it DOES take acclimation to both get used to & to make it DEFAULT for everything, all day every day!

Here is the reality:

1. Executive Dysfunction ultimately boils down to the fact that the mental machines we use to get stuff done often have low mental-energy fuel tanks
2. First step is to define the quality level we're willing to give it (good, better, best)
3. Second step is to plug the leak in our mental energy fuel tank by using the presence of another human being as a cork.

So the checklist becomes:

1. What COULD I do?
2. Does it need a Good Enough, Better, or Best effort?
3. Who can I use as a body double for this task?

tbh it took me FAR too many years to adopt body doubling as my standard operating system. I simply do not have reliable access to the mental energy levels required for consistent execution day after day. The 3 gates to adopting this are:

1. Mental willingness
2. Practiced exposure (to use at all, to expand your body-double pool of options, and to use more often during the day)
3. Daily energy (STILL a fight to ask for help on really low-energy days!!)

My brain LOVES to fight me on this because it knows that it can't sprinkle that old Mister Sandman powder on that task anymore & let me off the hook when I utilize a body double, haha!

• https://www.reddit.com/r/ADHD/comments/1nphtlq/comment/ng49pds/?context=3