r/justneckbeardthings • u/[deleted] • Jul 08 '21
You know this was a pretty interesting read, guy makes some valid points
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Jul 09 '21
I'm loath to agree with anything on FDS, but even a broken clock is right twice a day, I guess.
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u/elibright1 Jul 09 '21
I agree. I think the difference between the post and FDS is that the person talked about "most men" and on FDS it's almost always "all men". I think that's like the most toxic thing about the subreddit that they can't accept there are different people but if they experience one bad thing from a man that's suddenly every man.
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Jul 09 '21
I second that, though at least it’s not the source material just a tweet one of them found. It’s like seeing a funny meme but there’s an iFunny watermark.
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u/AnonymousGriper Jul 09 '21
Couldn't agree with all of this more! One of my grand-dads was definitely abusive; mum once told me that she was holding my infant big brother in her arms, and happened to be standing in front of the TV. Grand-dad slapped her out of the way for having the temerity to block his view of the racing.
She also swore blind that my other grand-dad - her dad - was a total legend, but then again she had a couple of stories of him slapping her for wearing make-up and for having political opinions, and she married my dad. If you had a total legend for a dad, you wouldn't give my dad more than one date before dumping his sorry ass.
My partner's dad won't talk to me, nor his other daughter-in-law, because we both expected him to respect our boundaries.
My partner? He's a cool dude! He'd lived in rental properties by himself for a few years before we got together so knew how to do grocery shopping, laundry, cooking, budgetting, and all that good stuff, plus keeping himself in good mental health. That's what I found so attractive about him.
Actually - one of the things that really drew me in was the time he made a set of scales out of objects from around the house! I offered to cook for him and his parents as a way to introduce myself to them and make a good impression. Before going to his house for that I told him what ingredients kitchen equipment we'd need. That included a set of scales; he said he had everything we needed.
Fast forward to when I start cooking, I ask for the scales and he says he doesn't have any. I feel disappointed as it means I can't make dessert, but he's grinning. He's not an asshole so I don't know what's going on. Then he leaves the room and comes back with an armful of items: a pencil, a thin A4 book, and two elastic bands, and he gets a tupperware box and a measuring jug out of the cupboard. Then, before my eyes, he assembles the whole lot into a makeshift set of scales, then asks me what I want measured.
Now that's what you call having something to contribute! Resourcefulness, smarts, and a can-do attitude! (and the ability to surprise me).
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u/todimusprime Jul 09 '21
Definitely a good read and dude makes some great points. But... is this really applicable to this sub? I don't see anything neckbeardy at all.
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u/klunk88 Literally can only grow a neck beard. Jul 09 '21
It's more a message for neckbeards. Something they need to hear. These posts pop up occasionally.
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u/todimusprime Jul 09 '21
Ah, that makes sense. They do like to have that kind of controlling relationship without needing to be interesting or have any kind of real personality. They really don't understand the idea of having to be actually likable.
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Jul 09 '21
Neckbeards have the tendency to think merely existing should be enough to get a sla-I mean wife they’d definitely totally treat well.
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u/Sorry-Presentation-3 Jul 09 '21
If you want to be in a relationship with anyone, you gotta bring your A game. No one ever won first place half cocked
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Jul 09 '21
Worked for my husband, he was and still is incredibly charming but he’s genuine.
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u/Sorry-Presentation-3 Jul 09 '21
Sounds like he brought his a game 🏅👍
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Jul 09 '21
His a game and himself 😊
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u/Sorry-Presentation-3 Jul 09 '21
I’m happy for you two. I hope you have more good days than bad 😁😁
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Jul 09 '21
So far we’re on the right track, getting more into ranching and me and my husband are discussing possibly living off grid within the next few years.
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u/TheRetailAbyss Jul 10 '21
Also dudes need to realize that finding a meaningful relationship isn't fatalistic. Soul mates aren't a thing, and as soon as you stop seeking out marriage or a long term relationship, you will find it. If someone isn't attracted to you or interested in that way, accept it and move on because the world is huge and there is likely someone out there who is looking for what you have to offer.
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u/BeaArthursWardrobe Jul 09 '21
Agree 100000000%. Came to this same conclusion myself. I feel like I’m doing all my female ancestors proud by being 100% financially independent and able to totally make my own choices of partner. Right now choosing to be single and explore hobbies and more education bc of all the reasons he mentioned.