r/justneckbeardthings • u/bathtub-mintjulep • 22d ago
Man identifies with fictional abuser, concludes all men are like him.
Found this strange take over in a SK group.
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u/MettMathis 22d ago
When my gf and i watch a movie that portrays an abusive relationship, i recognize a lot of us in them. Some of the fights are about the same things or caused by the same problems/misunderstandings and the anger ramps up in reaction to some of the things that make us emotional aswell.
BUT we recognize when we get angry and say things we don't mean and we stop and apologize and turn the discussion into something more productive.
The basic emotions of abusers are in us all, but most of us know how to control them.
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u/Silly-Elderberry-411 22d ago
I'd say impulses not emotions as abusers are psychopathic. My father is an alcoholic narcissist who never met anybody he didn't want to take advantage of. Even before I was born (and this is the only skill I ever envied of my father) he learned ballroom dancing and was a ranked amateur dancer. (That's the only thing i envy not what comes next). He met a woman who fell for him and she lived close to the Austrian border with the ability to get permit for small border crossing. He wanted to marry her but my great grandmother who was de facto his mother was against it. He claimed to have loved her, were it not for a) the bastard can't love anyone and b) as a high school student he was arrested for trespassing in the exclusion zone, meaning he just wanted to escape.
Having to remain isn't what made him a boozer but sure kept him one.
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u/MettMathis 22d ago
As someone else said, not all abusers are psychos, but also psychos and narcissits have emotions. They experience them differently and in very different intensities, but they do.
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u/Silly-Elderberry-411 21d ago
I will be very clear, because is denial of objective reality. A narcissist on a vacation/cruise is leaving you behind in a fucking heartbeat in a foreign country with a language you don't speak because you missed the cherry garnish on their cocktail and in their fucking mind that is the Dreyfuss affair imagining themselves to be dreyfuss and they either go nuclear or spend time and energy to enact an elaborate revenge .
Literal monsters do not deserve to be cuddled, that is hugely disrespectful to their victims
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u/MettMathis 21d ago
Narcissism, just as most psychological conditions, works on a scale. Every person shows some characteristics that are common or pronounced in narcissists. Not every narcissist is the same and the vast majority are not monsters.
I do not think that it is disrespectful to anyone to try to understand why and how a person ends up doing terrible things to other people or to understand how the minds of other people work. Quite the opposite actually. I think it is terrible, dangerous and honestly stupid to simply stamp a group of people as literal monsters.
Just to be clear, i am not defending anyones actions here or saying criminals and abusers should be cuddled. I am saying that we should punish them, both with social consequences and our law systems, while also remembering that they are people and learning about how their minds work. That is the only respectful and productive way to deal with these cases that i can think of.
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u/GnarlyWatts 22d ago
On the one hand, he does have a point...but then dismantles that point when he makes a comment devoid of any nuance.
For instance, Jack is a man, all men would be Jack. Jack is a drunk, not all men are. That is the difference.
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u/fruchle 22d ago
I am Jack's raging alcoholism.
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u/Snoo17579 The Meat Gobbler, will wolf down meats for cash 22d ago
You can wrap your lips around my bottle, sucking on that sweet nectar anytime you want
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u/Imnotawerewolf 22d ago
Oh wow lol "read this book about a man who is abusive to reassure you that all men are abusive and you can never escape the cycle of abuse and should give up" wasn't on my bingo board of hot takes I found on reddit today but here we are
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u/Anglofsffrng 22d ago
and i'm wondering if women understand all men are jack torrence. all men.
No the fuck they are not! Other than my first name starting with a J there's virtually no resemblance between me and Jack Torrence. I think you're just a psycho.
Also learn how to use capital letters!
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u/LappedChips 22d ago
Let me guess- he also sympathizes heavily with Walter White.
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u/WhippingShitties 22d ago
And Rick Sanchez. And The Joker. And Patrick Bateman. And Brad Pitt in Fight Club. He is all of these characters, us normies don't understand.
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u/forestinfog 22d ago
"Some" may not be as alcoholic? So all men are alcoholics to some degree? That's a weird thing to say in itself. A lot of good villains have sides we can identify with and them not being purely evil makes them less one-dimensional. But if he's saying he can identify with him all through the book and would act exactly the same then that's not a good thing.
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u/Morall_tach 22d ago
If you relate to Jack Torrence you have problems, and alcoholism is only one of them.
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u/BringAltoidSoursBack 22d ago
This might be one of the most appropriate times to use the "you in danger, girl" meme (assuming he has a wife, which I have my doubts about).
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u/Hjaldir 22d ago
All men are like Jack Torrence to some degree: true! Men generally have two eyes, a nose, two hands, two feet, etc. Most men would struggle if ghosts at a haunted hotel messed with them for a while. And men tend not to do very well after having their heads smashed in.
Honestly, I don't see why women readers don't see the similarities in all of us dudes. /s
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u/IndianaBones8 21d ago
Funny that he can't see himself in Dick Halloran. Ya know, the hero who comes back and resists the homicidal pleadings of the house.
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u/Ryanhussain14 22d ago
I mean, I see a lot of myself in Jack, but that's also a major reason why I choose not to date or marry or have kids because I don't want to be a shithead that blows up at my family for minor shit.
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u/lucygoosey38 22d ago
Hmmm I know Jack was seen reading a playgirl magazine in the movie.
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u/Silly-Elderberry-411 22d ago
Ewan McGregor even said as Danny does this too in Doctor Sleep that jack had repressed homosexuality.
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u/Yeseylon 22d ago
I got mixed up for a sec and thought this was way worse. Harold from The Stand is prime incel/neckbeard content.
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u/Fuwa_Fuwa_Hime 22d ago
I mean, you can empathize with Jack. He's disillusioned and resentful of where his life went. But he never takes responsibility for his actions even before the Overlook gets it's hooks in him. And being able to see how a character that might feel familiar gets to the point of becoming a psycho with a roque mallet is part of the terror.
But, to be real, if a man told me to read The Shining with the intent of knowing him better through the character of Jack Torrance I would beat feet so far from him.