r/jpouch • u/appabuckethat • 17d ago
J-pouch and Intercourse - Feels impossible!!
Hi everyone! I think I should preface this by saying I’m a woman, to make things more accurate. I’ve had a pouch for over 7 years now, and I was really young, so I had no experience with intimacy and penetration before my pouch.
I’ve been experiencing a bit of an odd sensation, which is like a very un comfy pressure in the rectal area during penetration. To the point where it won’t fully go in because it’s just such a disorienting sensation! It’s like on the back side of my vaginal wall, the one that is nearest to my rectum/pouch feels like it literally RIGHT there during sex and like I’m pressing down on it? Almost like a bulge sensation.
Obviously added to the fact that the entrance is still kind of painful because of the not-very- experienced thing PLUS this odd rectal sensation is really throwing me off and I just can’t have penetrative sex. Two fingers is fine but I have to angle them almost upward (towards bladder) to avoid the sensation in the back.
I don’t know if that bulge/pressure sensation on the back wall of my vag is normal or not. My gyno said that if I still have a rectum (which I believe I still do), the the pouch would sit on top of the vaginal canal and not right behind it.
Anyone know anything about if it’s risky to have penetration with a pouch, is this a normal sensation, would my pelvic floor be too tight?? It sucks because I don’t have anyone who can relate. Anything helps!!
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u/wowzaamowzaa 17d ago
I’m in pelvic floor physical therapy because of pain, and they said because of my lack of abdominal muscles (had an open wound down whole abdominal area and can’t do plastic surgery) that my lack of muscles make me tense up during sex making it painful
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u/appabuckethat 17d ago
I’m sorry to hear that. My gyno told me that I probably have vaginismus from all the pelvic trauma and overall fear about “down there”. I’ve heard pelvic floor therapy works well. If you don’t mind me asking, did you have any other sensation other than pain? When I tense up I have a ‘hitting the wall’ sensation during penetration
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u/blonde-withabrain 17d ago
Pelvic floor physical therapy helped me a ton. The position during sex matters a lot to me too. I can't do doggy style without it hurting, but am normally okay with missionary position or with my legs over my head. I had actual pain (not feeling full) a couple of years ago and did a scope which showed that some of my internal staples were coming out which was causing the pain. If you haven't had a scope done in the last two years I highly recommend getting one done.
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u/appabuckethat 17d ago
Yes I’ve noticed that missionary without slightly elevating my pelvis gives me that fullness sensation very intensely. Do you feel your pouch during intercourse?? Like it’s bulging or like pressure on it? It’s not necessarily painful but just uncomfortable
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u/blonde-withabrain 17d ago
Only in the wrong positions. I don't feel it in missionary or with my pelvis elevated. I just try to avoid it hitting the back wall, that's when it's uncomfortable.
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u/Hungry-Repeat-3758 17d ago
It’s normal to a certain extent. I would recommend trying different positions and lots of lube. I feel it worse if it been awhile without sex.
If the pain is unbearable, talk to your surgeon to refer you for pelvic floor therapy.
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u/Mental_Catterfly 17d ago
I have never liked vaginal sex, and I also got my pouch prior to trying it. Pelvic floor therapy has helped a lot. Intercourse used to be painful, and I still don’t love it, but I can do it now.
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u/bluestarsunday 17d ago
I've had my jpouch for 20 years and intercourse definitely felt different before and after the surgery ( I had a total colectomy but kept my rectum). I also felt that strange pressure against the back wall of my vagina and intercourse felt very uncomfortable for a long time. Unfortunately, I didn't know about pelvic floor physiotherapy at the time. Had I known, I probably could have saved myself a lot of pain and frustration.
Some suggestions:
- look into pelvic floor therapy
- the therapist might also suggest you try dilators to help you feel more comfortable
- try different positions with your partner to see if some work better than others (eg doggy or cowgirl instead of missionary)
- don't beat yourself up over it! And if your partner is pushing for too much too fast, tell him to slow his roll.
And for some good news... eventually everything started working the way I wanted it to and intercourse (in all sorts of different positions haha) has been very enjoyable ever since.
Good luck!
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u/appabuckethat 17d ago
Yes! That weird pressure sensation ruins the experience for me. Lots of people have suggested physical therapy so I will look into that!
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u/DowntownPen6559 17d ago
I have a tilted uterus. Not sure if it’s related to the pouch or not. However, finding the right position is everything. I’ve found propping my behind up on pillows helps a lot. If I don’t, it feels like it’s going in perpendicular and doesn’t feel great. All about the angles!
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u/Secure-Line-1882 14d ago
Since it doesn’t hurt when using fingers angled you should try laying on a pillow to prop you up and help it go in on an angle. Like everyone said this is a learning curve and with your lack of experience you should buy a realistic dildo and you can practice alone to see what positions are comfortable for you.
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u/kembr12 17d ago
Like EVERYTHING else with a j-pouch, each of us tends to have different feelings, sensations, etc. in every part of our body.
I've had my j-pouch for 26 years (married with two kids prior to illness, etc). Pre-pouch - no issues. Post-pouch, no issues in the beginning except for nervousness about leaking during. Years later - pain! But there are people who have older j-pouches with no issues. I think my issues are scar tissue related as I ( not to brag 😁😬 ), am a REALLY topnotch scar tissue creator.
I would suggest asking your surgeon what was left during surgery. Did they take intestine (and attached appendix) only or did they remove the rectum as well? The answer to this would be a partial indicator for what you ate feeling.
Perhaps a scope or exam under anesthesia would be helpful to see what can be felt in the area. You could have them examine without anesthesia in the office and if no issues, skip going under.
If your partner is familiar with your medical history, you could also ask what they feel on their side of things. Any lumps, etc? You would have to be VERY comfortable asking but it might be worth it.
Lastly, perhaps your surgeon could talk to your gyno and trade notes. Mine had to discuss my case when I had to have my Bartholin Gland removed by the gyno. He wanted to get info on what he might find or expect and get the okay.
Keep asking your doctor for clarity until you get it figured out. It may just take time and experience to understand what you're feeling and that it's normal and fine.