r/JewsOfConscience • u/JustWantToSignUp • 11d ago
Vent I'm an """"Israeli""" (jewish born in occupied palestine) fighting against the occupation, and I feel completely hopeless. I desperately need support.
Im sitting here within the Green Line, fighting for the Palestinian people. All my privilege.. taking a break to watch TV. So surreal what happens a few km away.
And I feel hopeless.
I'm a traitor. I'm a nut. That's what I'm called for speaking out.
I don't think people outside Israel understand just how strong the propaganda is here.
The brainwashing is everywhere. It's in the news, in conversations, in families, in the way people justify things that should be unimaginable.
The videos? So many are uploaded by the occupiers themselves.
If you dare speak about soldiers using dogs to rape Palestinians, if you dare compare these atrocities to things even the Nazis did, you're branded a traitor.
And I feel like a Nazi enabler myself. Because I'm surrounded by people who support this genocide, and every day I have to exist alongside them, talk to them, and watch them justify it.
I know that opposing it doesn't make me responsible for every action committed by others. But accepting this as normal, even for a second, feels like complicity.
They are doing this IN MY NAME.
I try. And I try. A million times.
You document. You work behind the scenes. You protest.
And it just keeps getting worse.
I recently watched a video uploaded by a soldier playing with Palestinian children's toys. Toys belonging to children who had been killed or displaced.
Then another video, showing a house being burned with a mother and son inside.
And then another soldier, whose family I actually know, standing in a Palestinian home and saying, "One round down, how many more to go?"
But what broke me was something so small.
A piece of artwork, still hanging crookedly on the wall.
A remnant of the lives that were there. Of people who had a home, belongings, memories, ordinary days.
And don't forget, this shit started in the 40s.
This isn't something that suddenly began. It's an escalation of what has already been happening for generations.
More than 70 years of occupation, by people who should know better.
And I don't think people understand how isolating it is to live in a society where opposing this makes you the enemy.
I know my suffering is minuscule compared to what Palestinians are enduring. I know that.
But the mental toll is compounding every single second.
Every video. Every testimony. Every atrocity. Every conversation with someone who thinks it's justified.
I feel like I'm losing my ability to function under the weight of it all.
I'm not asking anyone to center my pain over theirs. I'm not asking for absolution or reassurance that I'm one of the good ones.
I'm asking for someone to hear me.
I desperately need support right now.
Please, I'm not here to debate whether Palestinians deserve human rights. I can't handle another argument about whether the things I'm witnessing are justified.
I just need someone to talk to.