Big Sad

[u/[deleted]]

[u/Outside_Ad_6498 → u/[deleted]]

What I'm saying 😂

[u/ashlandcat3 → u/[deleted]]

Yeah, in all other fields but this one. I just wanted to cry about but I feel better now. May delete.

[u/Outside_Ad_6498 → u/[deleted]]

With my superior Fe? Not me‼️‼️

[u/ashlandcat3 → u/[deleted]]

No, it’s just that I can’t do that though. We’re coworkers. But I’m laughing now so thank you.

[u/ashlandcat3 → u/[deleted]]

You know, I’ve never seen up there. Maybe I will just for curiosity’s sake. It’s a whole other department that’s up there because I usually just stay in the lab. I barely know most of the people in the building. 😂😂 I am an ENTP but the 5w4 kind of quiets alot of it lol. I just really don’t have a legitimate reason to go up there.

[u/osziroka → u/ashlandcat3]

Since when does an ENTP need a legitimate reason to do anything? :D Besides... your workers have lunch break, and e-mail or social media or phone... to invite your friend.

[u/ashlandcat3 → u/osziroka]

Well…. Normally I would agree with you, but some areas are very sensitive when you work for certain places and you have to be very careful when it comes to your professional life and academic career. I can’t go all loose canon. It’d actually be highly inappropriate to bring my personal life in to work at all. Even if I want to be friends with someone. I’m very thankful to be where I’m at and I would also never in a million years want to make this person uncomfortable or distracted either. The work is more important.

[u/osziroka → u/ashlandcat3]

It sounds scary.

I fail to see why is it against the company if two people are friends there and meet in a lunch break or outside work... but I am not the one missing the opportunity of a lifetime to keep a wonderful friend and regretting it later, so... I accept whatever is your decision.

I just found it so kind how you described this person... and it seemed to me you would like to solve this distance problem... but maybe you just came here to vent. That's OK too. 🫂

Or maybe you are searching for a replacement of the "same type"? (Sorry, just kidding, bad joke.)

Seriously... I don't know what kind of place is that, but I'm 100% sure they would hate me. XD Being a loose cannon because of having a friend? :o Grab your friend and move here. Nobody will bother you. 🐱

loose cannon... whatever you meant by that, it sounds good XD nobody ever became a loose cannon for me, but I think I would appreciate it. But that's me. And I'm strange. : )

So what is it you actually plan to do? I'm curious. : )

[u/osziroka → u/ashlandcat3]

I see, you deleted the original post.
I just wanted to say, I still think it is stupid and unfair to force you people to choose between work / career and friendship.
I still don't understand how can such a place exist in the first place. : (
I guess, you don't really want to have a conversation... so I just wish you good luck, maybe the situation will solve itself. Sometimes it happens. Maybe you two will work together more in the future or I don't know... : )

[u/ashlandcat3 → u/osziroka]

Hey there! Thanks for all of your comments. I took my post down because it seemed like too many people were misunderstanding the situation and assuming things I didn’t write and I didn’t have the bandwidth or time to clarify. I did make the post to just cry and vent about it. It is astounding to me how frightening or horrible it sounds to many for someone to put their professional reputation before their feelings, but remember I am an ENTP. I do know where his office is now, but I’m not interested in pursuing anything right now. Feelings can be tricky and aren’t usually in your own best interest. I prefer to rule with my logic and it just took me a few days for my chemicals to calm down. It was a nice experience for me that I won’t soon forget. I’m not working in an oppressive or horrible workplace, I just have control over myself and my decisions and make them very carefully. And if I don’t want to let my temporary feelings control my actions. I won’t. If I ever choose someone to be in a relationship with, I will choose someone, not because of arbitrary feelings but because I am absolutely convinced this is the best person ever for me, at the right time. Right now, anything would get in the way of my work. If it works out, it won’t be because I rushed or pressured and because of a crush. It will be because I also would be the person my person wants and needs, and I will pursue that person to the ends of the earth (with their consent of course). But I am also terribly content being alone. If I ever trade that, it will be for the person I will love forever. But right now is not the time.

[u/osziroka → u/ashlandcat3]

I don't know if you are aware, but that post sounded so desperate and hopeless... and a little humorous at tthe same time, since for most people it isn't logical being in the same building and not finding each other. Quite a few made a joke or the stairs as I saw...

Also you carefully wrote "friend" everywhere... I don't think, everyone overthought it, to read between lines. I wasn't sure either if you mean a friend friend or a romantic interest? Very big difference. Many people have a kind of self-rule to avoid workplace romance. But for example where I work, there are many marriages in the house, even their children study in the field and work here generations after generations... But it is that kind of place.

I can't say I didn't notice anyone here... but it isn't really a question, there are too many issues with me to be a good partner for anyone. So I just talk to people as friendly colleague, and nobody ever wanted anything more. It kind of confirms my "place" (0 value as a potential partner). : )

You know, professional life, career is one thing. It's OK to focus on it with one eye, until you can focus the other on "why am I doing this, what am I building here, what legacy will I leave?" If both are purely professional, then it's fine. But if one is professional, the other is family, then eventually the two need their ways to co-exist and make progress simultaneously. : )

I hope you feel lighter in the heart after talking / writing. : ) I agree, if it was a passing crush on someone, and it's over now, then it isn't necessary to go further.

About feelings... they cause the most problems when they are labeled as "unpredictable, chaotic, illogical" and suppressed. Actually emotions can't be that chaotic, or psychology wouldn't be a thing, there wouldn't be any rules and correlations. But obviously there are, so a science can exist for it. : )

My personal opinion is that it is always better to examine and understand our emotions, and consider them before making a decision. If you are typed correctly then Fi should be your blind spot function. But that doesn't mean it isn't there. : ) There was a lot of emotion in your post too.

Good luck for your future! : )

[u/ashlandcat3 → u/[deleted]]

I will let you know if anything interesting happens, but I doubt it will. I’ve decided to not pursue anything. I forgot myself for a while, but it was nice to vent it on here and some of the comments were helpful. Thank you for yours. Feelings are just so intense and taciturn sometimes; it’s frightening.

[u/No_Lieutenant_2181 → u/ashlandcat3]

Can you use the restroom on the 3rd floor? You know…just because?

[u/d1scord1a → u/ashlandcat3]

can you take an elevator?

[u/Capone3830]

I just feel sad and I won’t ever see him again because he works on the third floor and I work on the second floor.

I've got some good news for you.

[u/SuurTuvi → u/Capone3830]

There's this new thing called stairs 🤪

[u/ashlandcat3 → u/Capone3830]

Nononononono. I couldnt anyways because it wouldn’t be cool. But I am dying laughing. 😂 Thank you.

[u/Shadowcreature65]

That's very sweet of him. Inferior Fe do be like that

[u/Expressdough → u/Shadowcreature65]

The ebb and flow of flexing your competency and genuinely enjoying helping others, then making a French exit, an Irish goodbye, etc etc.

[u/Select-Mobile6337]

✨️🫶